@randoms - post Christmas 2015

[downtoearth]

I need to vent.

1. My DH bought our oldest a BB Gun.  He's a 4th grader and asked Santa (on the verge of not believing) for a wooden replica WW2 gun thing and it was like $25 at a ranch-supply store.  My DH didn't like it b/c it was "kind of a little kid toy" and thought a BB Gun would be a good replacement.  He bought a BB Gun and wrapped it up from Santa.  First, I won't let the kid use in our back yard (unfenced open to neighbors on two sides and a walkway for middle school kids in the back), plus DH didn't realize you had buy BBs seperatately, so DS can't really even use his present.  I told DH it was a bad idea, but he wanted to do that anyway.  DS#1 was all, "Next year I'll specify that the wooden gun from RanchStore was a TOY, not a BB gun with fake wood."  Santa-Fail IMO. 

2. My mom is on my last nerve.  I ask her and my dad, both retired teachers, to watch the kids about 10 days out of every school year.  I space it out and don't have the cover long periods and I pay for the other 20 days they have off that I don't.  She agreed to help this holiday break, but then came home huffy from their time away at Christmas with my other sister and tried to claim that she could watch the kids today but, "They'll have to watch me work all day b/c I have so much work to get done."  Her "work" is taking down the Christmas tree and mantle decorations.  Granted they have 3 mantles and a staircase decorated, but that is like 1 hour of work total and not a freakin' whole day.  She also just was rude and passive aggressive.  I will probably only need her help to watch the kids for about another 2 years - that's 20-30 more days total with the kids before they are old enough to want to be somewhere else or to be old enough to stay home.  Plus, now I'm paying for 2 extra days for the sitter b/c I'm not putting up with this after today.  She had said she'd watch the kids two more days (one this week and one later in January), but I'm over it if she's going to be rude.

[One Girl In All The World]

My mother, with whom I am not close, really pissed me off the other day. We went to see them with the kids on the day after Christmas so the kids could see their grandparents, basically. Without going into backstory crap, she always overcompensates and goes nuts buying them presents. However, it's no secret that my mother favors my daughter, but it was way over the top. My son got one toy that he already had (which he graciously thanked her for and made no fuss at all that it was a duplicate) and a box of clothes.

My daughter got three boxes of clothes, a jewelry box, jewelry to go in the box, some kind of stupid headband decorating kit (mind you, she's in preschool and I hate headbands on little kids but whatever, she likes girly shit) and some other shit I'm forgetting. She was busy opening stuff and DS was just kind of sitting there, and mom flung a package at him going, "oh! here" this says for Abby but it's really for both of you!" It was these three fairy book. Now, I care not at all if he reads books about fairies, but he's a 6YO boy, and it's still an uphill battle teaching him that there aren't girl and boy toys, etc, and it was very clear she just said that and he wasn't in mind at all when she bought/wrapped it. My parents are not exactly progressive.

Anyway, it was the first time that I could tell he really picked up on the favoritism, and he was so quiet for the rest of the visit it broke my heart. We took him to see star wars later that afternoon and I took him to exchange the duplicate present for something else the next day. 

ETA: If this comes off as me wanting my parents to have gotten more "stuff" for DS, that's not it. I would rather they be positive influences in my kids' lives, rather than deal with her trying to swoop in with tons of shit to buy their love.

[rootbeerfloat]

Dec 28, 2015 14:26:36 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

2. My mom is on my last nerve.  I ask her and my dad, both retired teachers, to watch the kids about 10 days out of every school year.  I space it out and don't have the cover long periods and I pay for the other 20 days they have off that I don't.  She agreed to help this holiday break, but then came home huffy from their time away at Christmas with my other sister and tried to claim that she could watch the kids today but, "They'll have to watch me work all day b/c I have so much work to get done."  Her "work" is taking down the Christmas tree and mantle decorations.  Granted they have 3 mantles and a staircase decorated, but that is like 1 hour of work total and not a freakin' whole day.  She also just was rude and passive aggressive.  I will probably only need her help to watch the kids for about another 2 years - that's 20-30 more days total with the kids before they are old enough to want to be somewhere else or to be old enough to stay home.  Plus, now I'm paying for 2 extra days for the sitter b/c I'm not putting up with this after today.  She had said she'd watch the kids two more days (one this week and one later in January), but I'm over it if she's going to be rude.

My mom is like this. We put the kids in day camp for most of the break and asked my dad to watch them for 2 days. I'm not sure whether my mom will accompany him or stay home to clean lol, but I'm appreciative of my dad.

DS turned 9 yesterday. We had a party, complete with a Twinkie-Hoho cake at his request. His main gift was a female guinea pig named Chewbacca

[meshaliuknits]

BabyLiu got a seven pack of Disney princess barbie like dolls from my sister. As we guessed, she loves them. All these dolls do is talk about their fairy godmothers and see who is tallest. Mama is over playing princesses. These chicks are dull.

BoyLiu has been hucking nerf balls all over the house and then has the nerve to pout at me when I take them. Trouble, that one.

BabyLiu picked out a book for me (American Heiress). She picked it because "it has words and no pictures and a lady in a fancy dress on the front, just like you like." It's not a genre I'd choose on my own, but I'm having a hard time faulting her reasoning. She was so damned earnest when she gave it to me I think I have to keep it and read it.

[downtoearth]

One Girl In All The World - That sucks, I can't believe she would do that to your poor DS.

rootbeerfloat - This is their first year retired, so I've never been able to use them much before. I mean my mom kept saying she was retiring to "spend more times with the grandkids while they are still young," and offers to help all the time when I don't need it, but turns passive aggressive now? Meh, it feels good to complain, obviously.

[StrawberryBlondie]

Dec 28, 2015 14:38:35 GMT -5 One Girl In All The World said:

My mother, with whom I am not close, really pissed me off the other day. We went to see them with the kids on the day after Christmas so the kids could see their grandparents, basically. Without going into backstory crap, she always overcompensates and goes nuts buying them presents. However, it's no secret that my mother favors my daughter, but it was way over the top. My son got one toy that he already had (which he graciously thanked her for and made no fuss at all that it was a duplicate) and a box of clothes.

My daughter got three boxes of clothes, a jewelry box, jewelry to go in the box, some kind of stupid headband decorating kit (mind you, she's in preschool and I hate headbands on little kids but whatever, she likes girly shit) and some other shit I'm forgetting. She was busy opening stuff and DS was just kind of sitting there, and mom flung a package at him going, "oh! here" this says for Abby but it's really for both of you!" It was these three fairy book. Now, I care not at all if he reads books about fairies, but he's a 6YO boy, and it's still an uphill battle teaching him that there aren't girl and boy toys, etc, and it was very clear she just said that and he wasn't in mind at all when she bought/wrapped it. My parents are not exactly progressive.

Anyway, it was the first time that I could tell he really picked up on the favoritism, and he was so quiet for the rest of the visit it broke my heart. We took him to see star wars later that afternoon and I took him to exchange the duplicate present for something else the next day. 

ETA: If this comes off as me wanting my parents to have gotten more "stuff" for DS, that's not it. I would rather they be positive influences in my kids' lives, rather than deal with her trying to swoop in with tons of shit to buy their love.

Your son has my sympathies. I grew up feeling like my cousins were my grandparents' favorite and it sucked. I understand the situation as an adult and now know that wasn't the case, bit when you're 8, and your cousins are getting new toy after new toy and you got an ugly sweater and a figurine, it's an awful feeling.

[omgzombies]

Christmas with my family always makes me feel like such a snob. My parents and brothers got the kids a ton of stuff, but it's all small plastic items that will end up in the bottom of the toy box and won't be touched again. I hate that as they are opening presents all I can think is, well that's getting donated, that too, and that.

The worst part is, there are small cheap gifts that my kids would love and get a ton of mileage out of. So it's not a matter of price, or even something that's well made. It's just toys that will hold up past the first day of opening the box.