Intro and a question

[cincygirl]

Hi Everyone! I am a long time GBCN lurker coming out of the shadows with a question. I told my husband today I want a divorce (Happy New Years, right?). We have had problems for a very long time and we both knew it was coming. He is an attorney; would it be crazy to have him handle all of the paperwork/legal matters for both of us? We have no major assets and no kids. Everything should be very amicable and simple but I also lots of people say that, until it isn't. The sole reason for me not getting my own lawyer is financial.

[redshoejune]

I think you should get your own lawyer just in case. He has every reason and opportunity to try to get something past you.

[cuddlyevil]

If you knew everything would remain amicable, you can file it yourselves with him doing the paperwork. That said, it might be wise to speak to an attorney on your own.

Are you in Cincy? I can make some suggestions.

[mcgee]

Hire your own attorney. This is the one place you do NOT want to try to scrimp and save. I borrowed money from a family member to pay my lawyer, and it was absolutely worth it. I told my lawyer in our first meeting that we wanted to keep it amicable. She almost rolled her eyes at me and said, "Everyone wants to keep it amicable. It almost never stays that way. I can count on one hand the number of uncontested divorces I've done that actually stayed uncontested the whole way through - and I've been doing this for a very, very long time."

Divorce brings out a lot of emotions in people, and it's sometimes bizarre what people latch onto when it comes time to divide assets or arrange for custody of children or pets. I've worked with a lot of lawyers, and I had a judge tell me once that he had a couple in his courtroom who went to court over who got a set of St. Louis Cardinals barstools. Not tickets. Barstools.

You won't be able to hire anyone who works with your husband (conflict of interest), but ask around for referrals. Don't necessarily trust his referral. Since your husband is a lawyer, he can draw up the papers himself, and you will obviously have to talk to him about who will get what in terms of cars and other personal property. But you absolutely want to pay a lawyer of your own to review the papers and provide you with advice. Most attorneys will provide a free one hour consultation, so take advantage of that. Have all of your questions written up before you go, and be prepared to take notes. And then follow your attorney's advice, regardless of what your husband says. I know so many people who've racked up huge legal bills by not listening to their lawyers.

Best of luck to you, and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. Ultimately though, it's worth it to be out of a really bad situation.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't completely trust him to handle everything, but I don't necessarily think you need a lawyer. I only got a lawyer out of pure laziness, but I read over everything and it was very straight forward. Best $900 I ever spent. My divorce was amicable and it worked out fine.

So if you're worried about finances I think it's fine to file without a lawyer, but I wouldn't let him handle everything. I would read over everything myself and make any necessary changes. 

[cincygirl]

Thanks. I like the idea of him handling the paperwork but having my own attorney look it over. I am in Cincinnati and would love a recommendation.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Get your own attorney ! Despite the best of intentions most divorces are NOT amicable. You're better off w your own atty, rather than hoping your stbxh keeps your best interests in his mind.

Fair and equitable are in the eye of the beholder when it comes to divorce !

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2016 17:56:00 GMT -5 cincygirl said:

Thanks. I like the idea of him handling the paperwork but having my own attorney look it over. I am in Cincinnati and would love a recommendation.

Yes! This is a good way to save money, but help protect your interests. I'm sorry you find yourself here but please stick around!