Has anyone bought a home with their spouse gone?

[killercupcake]

How gone? lol

H was in San Diego and I was here when we bought, so it posed some issues, but not deployment style issues.

[meltoine]

H was at survival school when I bought our house, so totally not able to communicate with me at all. We looked at the listings before he left and he said he was fine with any I picked of the 20 we decided I'd look at. I saw them all, decided, offered, offer was accepted, and did all the mortgage paperwork myself with a POA. He was back in time for the closing, but I did everything up to that point by myself.

Just out of curiously, why would you use your cash instead of the VA loan? What's the upside? We opted to keep our cash in our mutual fund because it was/is earning far more than the interest on our mortgage.

[Beeps (WOT?*)]

Not quite the same but DH bought our house without me. He moved to Seattle to start his new job while I stayed behind to sell our house. We did some internet conversations, I found some prospects, he used a realtor to find others and sent me links. He found our current home based on a link I sent him that consisted only of floor plan drawings. The first I saw of it was when he sent me photos from the home inspection after our offer had been approved and the day before the movers were set to come.

My daughter and her DH are moving from Japan to Virginia next month. She's finding the housing since he'll be in school in New Jersey and she'll need a place to stay with the kids that isn't a hotel.

If you trust him to make the right decision, he should be able trust himself to do so as well. Sometimes circumstances dictate that one does the legwork in the partnership.

[audette]

Will you be reachable by phone so your DH can discuss the house options with you on a reasonable timeline? (ie: maybe not when he's walking thru them, but easily reach you each evening to discuss) That would lean me towards buying while you are away.

Could you point out to your husband that with you being the money person, it might be best for you to be remote from the decision (and viewings) - it makes you less likely to get caught on the emotional side of housebuying, and allows you to look at straight numbers, risk factors, rentability, financials, etc.

Now, _my_ DH would _never_ buy a house without me seeing it. But, that's because we both know I am way fussier about where we live than he is. He'd shrug off things that I would have a really tough time living with. But, me buying a house while DH is away? Sure. He'd be thrilled to have it all taken care of and to not have to dedicate time to figure it out...

[audette]

Jan 4, 2016 20:02:37 GMT -5 Stan said:

killercupcake not deployed, but not driving distance. I won't be readily available and I'll be gone for about 5 months. It'll require an SPOA.

meltoine , a very low mortgage payment, like >500. We could so easily cash flow that even with no renters. Also, there are some VERY cheap houses in my target neighborhood that wouldn't meet VA standards. I'd be willing to do the work and we'd still have money left over. We also have a lot a lot in the market, even after taking this out.

It would also allow you to keep this house for renting out and utilize the VA loan elsewhere.  An individual entitled to use a VA loan can only have one at a given time. (less of an issue for you, Stan, as both you and your H can qualify for VA loans, but something for those of us in couples that only have one military member to think of)

[audette]

Jan 5, 2016 12:21:08 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 5, 2016 11:46:17 GMT -5 audette said:

It would also allow you to keep this house for renting out and utilize the VA loan elsewhere.  An individual entitled to use a VA loan can only have one at a given time. (less of an issue for you, Stan , as both you and your H can qualify for VA loans, but something for those of us in couples that only have one military member to think of)

I've actually done some reading that says this isn't totally the case. forum.mrmoneymustache.com/real-estate-and-landlording/veteran's-can-purchase-a-rental-house-using-the-va-loan-program-sort-of/msg553227/#msg553227

I hate to point anyone towards MMM since I found out he's pretty much a racist, but this is just his forum and I had it bookmarked from before that dustup on MM. 

Eh, while it _might_ be possible to get away with it, the VA loan program really isn't intended to have a loan on more than one property at a time.  I'd feel pretty slimy trying to pull what is described in the link.

[audette]

Jan 5, 2016 12:24:54 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 5, 2016 11:43:09 GMT -5 audette said:

Will you be reachable by phone so your DH can discuss the house options with you on a reasonable timeline? (ie: maybe not when he's walking thru them, but easily reach you each evening to discuss) That would lean me towards buying while you are away.

Could you point out to your husband that with you being the money person, it might be best for you to be remote from the decision (and viewings) - it makes you less likely to get caught on the emotional side of housebuying, and allows you to look at straight numbers, risk factors, rentability, financials, etc.

Now, _my_ DH would _never_ buy a house without me seeing it. But, that's because we both know I am way fussier about where we live than he is. He'd shrug off things that I would have a really tough time living with. But, me buying a house while DH is away? Sure. He'd be thrilled to have it all taken care of and to not have to dedicate time to figure it out...

There will be points where I won't be available by phone. It's totally okay by me, because even though I would be VERY fussy about a forever home, this is for an eventual rental, so what I care about is that it's either in good condition, or in poor cosmetic condition only/easily fixable. I obviously really want him to do this. I think he underestimates the difficulty of finding a short term rental with our two beasts. 

Here's hoping he comes around, then.  I've heard it can be difficult to find rentals that allow animals, particularly multiple large dogs. (the look of relief in every landlord's eyes when DH and I say "no pets" would be a giveaway on that one)

I can see it being different when you go in knowing this place will end up as a rental. It's an idea we've never really floated, so I've not thought of it before.

[ggirl]

Moving?? No more SC? But I'm coming up in May for a visit! Lol
I have no advice. We obviously bought our home together and we used the VA loan. We also had no problems getting our home approved for the VA loan if you choose to go that route.

Other than that. I got nothing.

[ggirl]

Jan 5, 2016 19:21:34 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 5, 2016 18:19:46 GMT -5 ggirl said:

Moving?? No more SC? But I'm coming up in May for a visit! Lol
I have no advice. We obviously bought our home together and we used the VA loan. We also had no problems getting our home approved for the VA loan if you choose to go that route.

Other than that. I got nothing.

Girl, you know no one visits my part of SC! And we're likely going to NC which is exciting because swing state! We're both changing our residency! kpol gets me too.

I'll be at isle of palms and Charleston so not far from you! And probably Beaufort and Savannah. We're making a vacation of it lol.
Are you excited for NC besides for voting? Lol

[kpol]

Jan 5, 2016 19:21:34 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 5, 2016 18:19:46 GMT -5 ggirl said:

Moving?? No more SC? But I'm coming up in May for a visit! Lol
I have no advice. We obviously bought our home together and we used the VA loan. We also had no problems getting our home approved for the VA loan if you choose to go that route.

Other than that. I got nothing.

Girl, you know no one visits my part of SC! And we're likely going to NC which is exciting because swing state! We're both changing our residency! kpol gets me too.

I printed off my new voter registration application this afternoon! I had to do it at least 29 days before the primary and I have a way with forgetting to mail stuff.

As far as the house buying goes, I have no real advice. We bought our house together, with intentions of selling it when we move. We're pretty confident we will be able to sell it since the market here is hot and doesn't look like it will slow down anytime soon. Out of all the houses we looked at, I think M would have picked this one if I weren't around. I know this isn't my forever home, but I wish I could update some $$ cosmetic things. I'd love all new flooring and total bathroom remodels, but it would cost far too much knowing we just want to sell it in a few years.

[ggirl]

We looked at a couple flips but ended up vetoing them. Work was usually done shoddily. How long will you be there for? I can guess it's a good place to have a rental property.
Also. The price of housing just made me cry. Damn Florida.

[amaristella]

Sounds to me like you want to. Does he not want to? Just make a list of things to check (flush the toilet, see how it goes. Look inside cabinets, make sure not littered with roaches, open and close windows... make sure they're not stuck) and things to take pictures of. Pictures won't always show grime or a weird smell but usually you can figure out if there are major deal breakers.

[bina]

Stan, I'm in Jacksonville if I can do anything to help. And I hope we can get together when you get here
Eta Stan I pm'd you.

[audette]

Jan 6, 2016 20:57:41 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 5, 2016 12:37:01 GMT -5 audette said:

Eh, while it _might_ be possible to get away with it, the VA loan program really isn't intended to have a loan on more than one property at a time.  I'd feel pretty slimy trying to pull what is described in the link.

I wouldn't do THAT! But if we PCSd and needed to, and it's allowable, I might.

It looks like it's allowable for after a PCS, but the intent is for the first home to be sold, not kept as a rental.

That might make me lean more towards getting a conventional loan for this place.

[audette]

Jan 7, 2016 13:02:34 GMT -5 Stan said:

Jan 7, 2016 10:22:55 GMT -5 audette said:

It looks like it's allowable for after a PCS, but the intent is for the first home to be sold, not kept as a rental.

That might make me lean more towards getting a conventional loan for this place.

We both have eligibility though his terms are more favorable than mine. But even if we didn't, I have no ethical issue with keeping the first one as a rental if we PCS, even if we do use a VA Loan, and I have ethical issues with virtually everything, lol. You've out ethics'ed me! 

Dang! I should mark this day in my calendar, or something!

[blondemoment123]

H was unreachable when I intended to purchase a home. For various reasons it didn't work out, but I was ready to do it without him.

[nikki25]

My situation was very different but applies.

We had our house up for rent and found a new one when I was around 20 weeks pregnant with my twins. Our offer was accept and just completed the inspection when I was suddenly flown to a high level hospital about an hour away due to complications.

We proceeded like I was there via phone and email and was able to rent out our current house starting Jan.15 while closing on our new house was Dec.30. I remained in the hospital until February.

The hardest part was the closing. The title company had to physically come to my hospital room, which was, interesting. I signed over power of attorney to my husband which allowed him to close on the house and sign on my behalf. He did have to move everything while I was gone and taking care of our 3 year old so he did a fucking awesome job.

Good luck!

[nikki25]

Oops, sorry, I thought I was on ML when I typed that but will leave it. Goodles luck!

[calmcosmo]

I bought a home when my husband was deployed in the Gulf on a carrier. We had almost no contact at that time (I probably emailed him pictures, but definitely no way to Skype a tour or do anything beyond email).

We had a Real Estate POA written up and he just simply trusted my taste. He didn't see it until the night before closing (and we were lucky he was even home for closing). It worked out great! He loved the home and we still own it as a rental.

It isn't ideal and in a perfect world it will be the only time I do it. But if he were to call me today (he's deployed) and say "we are moving right when I get home, please start house shopping" I would do it. I'd rather do that then live in a hotel for a month while we househunt together. We've been a couple for 19 years so I know him and his tastes inside and out. And he knows that I'm good at balancing his and my wish lists against factors like school district, rentability, and commute.

I say encourage him to go ahead with house hunting. He might be surprised by the clarity he has .

[calmcosmo]

One quick thing... I'd never ever buy a house without written orders. And even then I'd be a little worried in the current climate (I've had so many friends have orders shredded at the last second recently). It's one thing to bail on a lease with SCRA if your orders change, it's another to be the owner of a home and need to either quickly re-sell or rent it out without ever living in it.

So verbal orders from the detailer (or monitor in your case) wouldn't be enough to get me writing a contract. Once they're in writing I try to have good faith, cross my fingers, and get shopping.

[blondemoment123]

Jan 15, 2016 15:03:23 GMT -5 calmcosmo said:

I bought a home when my husband was deployed in the Gulf on a carrier. We had almost no contact at that time (I probably emailed him pictures, but definitely no way to Skype a tour or do anything beyond email).

We had a Real Estate POA written up and he just simply trusted my taste. He didn't see it until the night before closing (and we were lucky he was even home for closing). It worked out great! He loved the home and we still own it as a rental.

It isn't ideal and in a perfect world it will be the only time I do it. But if he were to call me today (he's deployed) and say "we are moving right when I get home, please start house shopping" I would do it. I'd rather do that then live in a hotel for a month while we househunt together. We've been a couple for 19 years so I know him and his tastes inside and out. And he knows that I'm good at balancing his and my wish lists against factors like school district, rentability, and commute.

I say encourage him to go ahead with house hunting. He might be surprised by the clarity he has .

Lol my H and I have the opposite taste when it comes to real estate. He HATES our current rental so when we do buy it'll be an uphill battle finding a home.