Post by Ashley&Scott on Aug 28, 2012 12:06:10 GMT -5
DH & I have both been feeling pretty overwhelmed & stressed lately. It seems there are a million things to do & not enough time in the day. Of course lack of sleep isn't helping either.
Post by kittycatlove on Aug 28, 2012 12:16:05 GMT -5
We're in that right now too. We'll have a couple of good months and then bam we're overwhelmed. What helps me is to make sure we each get some alone time to do something. Even if it's an hour to go shopping get a pedicure, something to decompress. When we're both stressed we tend to jump on each other over the little things. I've also come to accept that some of the little things just won't get done.
I try to stay ahead of things, by having the next clean set (of laundry, diapers, toddler forks) on hand before I actually need them and it becomes a crisis. If I get to the end of a pack of diapers or wipes, I open the next box so I won't have to go on a scavenger hunt for the scissors with a crying poopy kid wriggling out of my hands. DH or I (whoever is not doing the bath, if things are working ideally) generally spend about ten minutes picking up toys/tidying up each night.
Good question; I'm interested in the other responses.
I let my mom do the laundry lol! Also I am a big believer in trying to have some fun as a family every week. We make one morning over the weekend a family fun time. We go out as a family and do fun stuff with ds. It makes the stressful times feel less stressful if we can look forward to fun.
My big 4 things that helped are: Bi-weekly cleaning serive, meal planning, laying out clothes for LO and myself for the week, getting DH to help with laundry.
That means on an average night after getting home from work I only have to prepare bottles for the next day, cook, load the dishwasher and wipe the stove and counters.
This is us right now. I feel like I'm digging sand some days. I would love to hear how others handle the early baby stage chaos. Please tell me I don't need to buy an EC planner!
I posted about my DH and I's issue. We've been fighting non stop. It really felt good to communicate my needs. We both agreed that we'd PUSH for a date night once a month and also make an effort to get a couple hours of alone time to decompress. We both need it.
I read on a blog once that you should try to only touch something once. An example would be open the mail by the trash can and throw away the trash while you are opening, then take the bills and set them up for auto pay and then go file them. I try to do this whenever I can so we don't have piles of bills to be paid and stuff to be filed.
I do a 10 minute pick up every night before bed and then write down a quick to do list for the next day. I find that I sleep better if I am not worried about forgetting to do something the next day.
We also hired a cleaning lady to come every other week after our first DS was born. This has made a huge difference because I don't have to worry about deep cleaning.
The $79/year is well worth it. It cut out almost all of our trips to the hardware store, the pet store, and Target, and the only time I've set foot in BRU is to register and do the registry completion. We also use it like a Costco/Sam's membership minus the hassle--we buy stuff like toilet paper and paper towels in bulk on there. It's a godsend.
I mean, if it doesn't REALLY need doing, it doesn't get done. I'm not the kind that cares if I don't pick up yesterday's toys in the living room and I wake up to them again. I don't make beds. I do the stuff that needs doing - laundry, dishes, kitchen floor.
I do try to menu plan so we buy the groceries we need for the week in one go. I still cook ahead so there are some meals in the freezer. I get ready for the morning the night before: pack my lunch, pack daycare bag, pick out my clothes, shower. My exercise is my bike to and from work (but that will fall apart when it snows, as I'm not willing to bike in winter).
The $79/year is well worth it. It cut out almost all of our trips to the hardware store, the pet store, and Target, and the only time I've set foot in BRU is to register and do the registry completion. We also use it like a Costco/Sam's membership minus the hassle--we buy stuff like toilet paper and paper towels in bulk on there. It's a godsend.
Forgot about this. Yes! Get Amazon Prime. Money well spent. I never run out of diapers, wipes or formula and have it at my doorstep in 2 days.
Post by Mrs.Syntax on Aug 28, 2012 12:46:50 GMT -5
I confess that I spend more $ on pre-packaged bags of spinach/lettuce, cut veggies, etc. Also stuff from the meat counter like pre-cut streak for fajitas. It's the one thing that keeps prepping healthy-ish meals from seeming like an insurmountable task.
Another thing we're facing right now is landscaping maintenance. It was already going to shit when we bought this house, and we had grand plans to take care of it ourselves. We just don't have time and now we're planning on hiring a service. Sometimes you have to outsource, I guess.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Aug 28, 2012 13:05:41 GMT -5
I am so glad we're not the only ones trying to find a balance. ({) (})
I'll share my tips, even though it's not helping me maybe it will help someone else
We have 2 sets of pump parts & daycare bottles. That way one set it always ready to go. We wash the used set each night. We also have a few extra outfits for DS at daycare, that way if one comes home there are still backups.
Clean up the kitchen every night, so it doesn't pile up.
We try to prep as much as we can the night before: make DS's bottles, restocking my pump bag, etc.
Our routine cleaning has decreased dramatically, there just isn't enough time. DH has actually taken a day off every few months to do whole house cleaning. (I don't have any more PTO this year)
We do laundry every weekend, we have enough of everything to get us through the week.
Thankfully the lawn is growing at a snail's pace because it's been so dry. We did finally hire a service for fertilizer & weed control.
I agree about doing something fun as a family. Things always feel better when we get some fun time, whether that's playing with DS or going for a walk.
We need to be better about each of us getting time to ourselves to do whatever. We keep talking about it but haven't done it.
Right now (see the new thread I started) I'm considering hiring someone (very likely one of DD's teachers) to pick her up at home in the morning. This will free up time.
Post by mollybrown on Aug 28, 2012 13:14:30 GMT -5
Accept defeat: The only real goal is to keep the kids, DH, and I happy and healthy. Anything else is gravy. Sometimes the house looks like a tornado just blew through, but no one will remember that long term.
Outsource: If you can afford to, outsource. Cleaning, Amazon Prime, grocery/milk delivery, yard care, etc.
We still get overwhelmed sometimes, so we just keep wine on hand
I read on a blog once that you should try to only touch something once. An example would be open the mail by the trash can and throw away the trash while you are opening, then take the bills and set them up for auto pay and then go file them. I try to do this whenever I can so we don't have piles of bills to be paid and stuff to be paid.
Omg, I have tried to beat my husband over the head with this idea. Paper stacked up on the kitchen counter is my go-to harpy point when I'm frustrated. I tried creating a "drop zone" in the hall closet; he won't use it. I tried making a "counters must be clear of debris every Sunday" rule. No dice. Finally, we split ills/paperwork as follows: I get the mail, sort it of junk, and put it on his desk in the "to be paid" pile. He pays bis and files the paperwork away.
I can't handle junky countertops. I makes life feel so messy!
What else have we done... Given up the ghost on having clean cars. Kept house decorations super simple (less to dust).
I'm interested to read what everyone else does. We could be a lot better with meal planning/ grocery shopping.
We do a lot of prep the night before - dogs treats, daycare bottles, etc.
I clean the bottles and defrost milk as soon as I get home just so it's out of the way, then i put the BM in the bottles before bed. Then I make myself do something for 15 minutes - straighten, fold laundry, stuff the pocket diapers, get out food for dinner, freeze that days BM, whatever. Then I can crash ha. But getting the bottles out of the way, having the breast milk defrosting for the next day, and doing something around the house, no matter how small, helps me feel better. Then for the rest of it I basically say eff it. LOL.
Letting the house cleaning go (try to pick one room/ area to focus on every weekend) cook larger meals on the weekend, and eat leftovers or quick meals on weekdays ditto Amazon Prime
I stay at home, so lots of these tips are things I find manageable, but I just recently started having grocery delivery. I started doing it as a money saver. The milk I can get through the delivery is cheaper than what I was getting at the store by $2 a gallon, and I keep myself from buying those eye catching items. Since delivery is only $5, our grocery bill has gone down. As an added bonus, I am 7 months pregnant, and was having a hard time loading and unloading the car while keeping my 2 year old safe and occupied. The delivery service has certainly saved us time and hassle!
Minimize! After many years of marriage & being a mom I finally realize the more you have the more you have to maintain, clean, etc. So don't buy "stuff" unless you really need it, for yourself & kids. Toss/give away/resell stuff all the time. It goes with the touch once thing. Dont keep stufff that is cheap if you are only keeping it around for "someday". it's good MM-wise too.
Develop a realistic routine & stick to it if possible for cleaning, meals, childcare, etc.
1) Amazon Prime. Top of the list. First thing that came to mind. My mother mocked me yesterday when she came over and saw that I'd ordered barsoap on amazon, but you know what? It was cheaper than it is at Costco, which is my purchase price comparison point, and I didn't have to go to the store to get it.
2) We don't have much clutter. We don't keep much extra stuff around "just in case." We don't have tons of knicknacks around. We're very streamlined. It means less visual overwhelming mess, and an easier time cleaning up. We aren't into stuff.
Related to the above, we took the simple route with baby/kid stuff. We try to stick to items that are necessary and not just "maybe convenient" -- for example, we never had a baby bathtub. We just bathed DS on a towel in the regular bathtub as an infant. We never used "toddler plates" because I could envision nights of "No mommy!! I have to have the Pirate Plate!!!!" DS eats off of our stoneware and has since he began eating.
3) Cloth diapers and wipes -- I love that if we're low on diapers, all I have to do is run a load of laundry.
4) We don't overplan / overschedule.
5) We have low expectations about life with a toddler. There are things that I am just admitting are not on my priority list right now. I can't do it all, so some things I just acknowledged are not for right now. For me, this includes making greeting cards and other paper crafts, and participating at synagogue.
6) Meal plan and go to the grocery once a week only -- on the weekend.
7) Buy in bulk to reduce shopping trips.
8) Bank online and get all bills online if possible.
9) We don't have tons of clothes, so I must do laundry every weekend. I like that, because it means I don't usually have a huge backlog unless i also do a lot of bedding, blankets, etc.
Best of luck -- I've been where you are at various points as a working mama, but right now it's actually working for us.
ETA: And sleep! i just remembered that you listed "sleep deprivation." If that's baby related, then obviously it's outside of your control. But if it's not, then that's something to work on. Sleep is a big priority in our house, and DH and I get 8-9 hours a night now that DS STTN.
ETA: And sleep! i just remembered that you listed "sleep deprivation." If that's baby related, then obviously it's outside of your control. But if it's not, then that's something to work on. Sleep is a big priority in our house, and DH and I get 8-9 hours a night now that DS STTN.
Yep it's baby related. DS's sleep went to crap when he started teething around 4 months. Pre-teething he was sleeping in 3-5hr stretches. Now he sleeps in 1-3hr stretches. It is slowly improving, fingers crossed it keeps going in the right direction.
ETA: And sleep! i just remembered that you listed "sleep deprivation." If that's baby related, then obviously it's outside of your control. But if it's not, then that's something to work on. Sleep is a big priority in our house, and DH and I get 8-9 hours a night now that DS STTN.
Yep it's baby related. DS's sleep went to crap when he started teething around 4 months. Pre-teething he was sleeping in 3-5hr stretches. Now he sleeps in 1-3hr stretches. It is slowly improving, fingers crossed it keeps going in the right direction.
That's very, very hard. No wonder you feel like life is out of sorts. I felt the same way when my son was sleeping like that. I remember posting over on the bump's working mom's board about did people feel like they "had it together", and most moms said "yes, for the most part" and I felt like a complete failure. But once I started getting sleep, things fell far more into place. Hugs, and best of luck. This is definitely a time for LOW expectations!
Post by fortmyersbride on Aug 28, 2012 14:52:03 GMT -5
1. Amazon prime and subscribe and save- diapers, wipes, pet food, bulk snacks, tolietries
2. Cleaning person
3. Lawn guy
4. Having the nanny/sitter do the kids' laundry and help them tidy their rooms and toy areas
5. Cook in large batches and freeze (rarely happens though, I hate cooking)
6. I own several sets of pump parts and keep a day's pumping supplies in a gallon-sized ziploc. Then I just grab a new bag each day and toss it in with my pump
1. I have a long lunch break and work 10 minutes away from home, so I try to do as many errands and small tasks as I can during that time: groceries, bank, dry cleaner, online bill paying, getting gas, put away laundry, clear out clutter, etc.
2. Meal planning.
3. Saving major cleaning until the weekend.
4. Online shopping. To make it MM, I'm getting a lot better at remembering to go through Ebates.
- I order EVERYTHING on Amazon - Run errands/go to the gym at lunch - My H gave me a cleaning lady for my birthday. BEST GIFT EVARRRRR. - We have a nanny, so I don't have to stress about getting my kid ready for daycare in the AM. She also cleans up after him, and does his diaper + regular laundry when needed. - We split the cooking responsibility
Even with all of the above, I still feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. I have to remind myself that this crazy time is just temporary.
I've stopped cooking, almost entirely. We do Trader Joe's frozen meals, rotisserie chicken, or prepared meals from Whole Foods. More $$$ but wayyyy less stress for me.
And I adore cooking. Someday I will cook again... sigh.