Again?

[Deleted]

+o(

It's happening again... Our agency sw called earlier to talk to me about some new information she got regarding the girls and it wasn't good.

The ASW (adoption sw through the county) visited on Friday and the visit went well. She gave me some tips about bonding with Owl and asked if I can get some alone time with her (I told her that I make it a priority to spend 2 hours alone with her each day already, she seemed happy with this) and said that she wants to keep the girls in our home. I felt so relieved that it was a good visit and reported back to our agency sw that it went well.

Yesterday, the lawyers sw stopped by for a visit and left after 5 minutes saying how happy she is to see such major changes in Owl. She even congratulated me.

Today our agency's adoption assistant called the ASW to get updates and got some potentially awful news... ASW said that she sees Owl bonding with J more than me (ASW has only met J once, in June, so this could be old news), that I'm not physically affectionate enough with Owl (sorry for not wanting to stop her from playing during the visit, I was playing with her...), and that she might separate the girls and place Owl in a home for behaviorally challenged children.

Holy FUCK!

I am tired of repeating that I've fought for the proper care and services for her, it was me that pushed for all of this help lady, you just sent the referrals! Even though dedicating every day of the week to therapy SUCKS, I do it so Owl and I can learn and grow and she can have permanence here with us. There is no "they don't fit" issue here, Owl loves us, seeks us, has bonded with us, is finally feeling safe with us; don't take her out of our home and force her to regress, she has come such a long way in our care!

Our agency sw spoke to the lawyers sw a few minutes ago and was told that they aren't recommending that the girls be separated and that she is very happy with the way things are going for Owl in our home.

I do not like the ASW.

[twotrue]

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you have some good people on your side - hold onto that. I hope things work out okay.

posted from phone

[kershnic]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Even if it were the case that she was bonding with J more than you I don't see why that's so bad.... kids often connect more or in different ways with one parent or another. Changing homes alone is traumatic for children, so it's even more frustrating that they would be so flippant with it as a possibility. As hard as it is, all you can do it keep giving Owl everything you can give her and keep communicating with as many of the decision makers as possible to make sure they see your efforts. I've said it before, but again, there's so many people involved in making a decision like this for a reason - if the lawyers and your agency SW and all of those other people are on your side, their opinions will hold weight against one SW who has an alternative point of view.

[seattlekari]

I'm so sorry this is happening. I hope they get their stuff together and start communicating better so they can see all the progress you've made. And keep that agency sw on speed dial!!!

[2brides]

Ridiculous. I am sorry.