FML .. Xh and 'deathbed'

[pinkdutchtulips]

That day that all moms who have kids with addicts dread .. well it's my current nightmare. Former bil texted me that xh is in the hospital w a blood infection and as another cousin put it - he looks like Uncle B when he was on his deathbed. Naturally xh wants to see dd. Not so fast.

I already spoke with the DA's office and I will not be running afoul of the RO (I won't be) but everyone is in agreement that I need reliable proof from treating medical professionals as to his prognosis. If they think he'll pull through - nope not even an option.

Thoughts prayers and good juju that dd and I pull through this in one piece

[1confused1]

So many hugs.

I went through this in August with the ex. Feel free to message me here or on Facebook if you want to talk.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Jan 13, 2016 19:21:20 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

So many hugs.

I went through this in August with the ex. Feel free to message me here or on Facebook if you want to talk.

thank you !

[Deleted]

I mostly lurk here, but I wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this. Wishing you strength to deal with whatever comes. I'm sorry you're in such a tough position.

[cuddlyevil]

So many hugs.

[sweetchix]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. (((Hugs)))

[winecat]

oh man. Lots of juju. I hope the right info comes quickly so you know what you need to do or not do.

[housewife]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this

[pandora]

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this but I'm glad that you are protecting your daughter. Hugs!

[bl]

I am so sorry you're dealing with that, it sounds so hard. Lots of thoughts your way.

[jojoandleo]

I am so sorry. That is such a difficult position to be in. You are very strong and doing what is best for your daughter. *hugs*

[glitzyglow]

I'm sorry...what a tough spot to be in. Lots of good thoughts for you.

[bg]

I'm sorry. So hard...

[somersault72]

Wow, what a tough situation. Sorry you're going through this.

[mnsnow]

This is one of my greatest fears. That he will either die due to his addiction or take his own life. I'm not so concerned about the kids seeing him, as there is no RO or anything, but having to talk to the kids about it would seriously kill me. Even though their father is making some seriously bad decisions and has a lot of work to do, they still love him to death. Prayers to you. Hope everything turns out the way you want it to.

[glynn]

Hugs to you both.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Jan 14, 2016 15:21:13 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Sorry you're having to deal with this.

My ex contacted me a few years ago and said he was dying and wanted to see the kids. He said he had advanced colon cancer (his mom and aunt died young from it, so it seemed plausible), but I didn't trust him.

I made him send me paperwork from the doctor, and it turned out he wasn't sick at all.

So I don't think you're out of line requesting info.

this is where I'm at - I don't trust xh. All the info that my fbil has relayed to me has come from xh. I want to talk to MDs and if he's not willing to give me consent to talk to MDs then a visit from DD is not going to happen!

[1confused1]

Jan 14, 2016 15:16:59 GMT -5 mnsnow said:

This is one of my greatest fears.

Mine too. I fear the day I have to tell them their dad is dead.

[flatlan]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.

[jigsy]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I hope you are able to get the info you need to make a fully formed decision.

[redshoejune]

I'm so sorry you're going through this

[closertofine]

I'm just seeing this now. I'm so sorry this has come up. Wishing you strength as you deal with it.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Hospital social worker is continuing to drag his feet - makes me think not as dire as he wants me to think it is .. Grr

[pandora]

Jan 15, 2016 0:19:21 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Hospital social worker is continuing to drag his feet - makes me think not as dire as he wants me to think it is .. Grr

Interesting. Could be a manipulation tactic which is awful for you both. Keep us posted and stay strong!

[pinkdutchtulips]

Jan 15, 2016 5:08:08 GMT -5 pandora said:

Jan 15, 2016 0:19:21 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Hospital social worker is continuing to drag his feet - makes me think not as dire as he wants me to think it is .. Grr

Interesting. Could be a manipulation tactic which is awful for you both. Keep us posted and stay strong!

no question it's a manipulation tactic. Xh hasn't seen dd since 8/2014 when he was arrested for violating the RO. I'm pissed that he's dragged his brother into it too.

[stephreloaded]

Jan 15, 2016 8:59:04 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Jan 15, 2016 5:08:08 GMT -5 pandora said:

Interesting. Could be a manipulation tactic which is awful for you both. Keep us posted and stay strong!

no question it's a manipulation tactic. Xh hasn't seen dd since 8/2014 when he was arrested for violating the RO. I'm pissed that he's dragged his brother into it too.

He might be at the hospital but with something not as serious as he is portraying it to be. You are doing the right thing asking for more proof.

Hugs to you!

[greysgirl]

Jan 14, 2016 16:17:13 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Jan 14, 2016 15:16:59 GMT -5 mnsnow said:

This is one of my greatest fears.

Mine too. I fear the day I have to tell them their dad is dead.

Tritto this. Exh has been sober for 2.5 years but he has been in a long term rehab for 4, I'm scared for the day he is on his own.

[greysgirl]

OP I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

[pandora]

Jan 15, 2016 9:14:51 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

Jan 15, 2016 8:59:04 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

no question it's a manipulation tactic. Xh hasn't seen dd since 8/2014 when he was arrested for violating the RO. I'm pissed that he's dragged his brother into it too.

He might be at the hospital but with something not as serious as he is portraying it to be. You are doing the right thing asking for more proof.

Hugs to you!

This is exactly my thought, too as I'm sure it's @pinkdutchtulip's. I wouldn't budge on this so I'm glad that you aren't. If you go running, he will know this nonsense works and will open up more occurrences, I'm guessing. Protect you and your baby girl and let him sit there. If he really was so sick, I would expect that he would go through his lawyer to ask to say goodbye, if he could. I think it's bunk and so glad you're not budging to him!

[abcdefu]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this pinkdutchtulips. You are amazing for protecting your daughter and not falling for, what seems to be, a manipulation tactic. ((HUGS))