Help me decide

[ilovelamp]

So I don't remember how much detail I went into about my uncle I recently stopped talking to. He's a priest (psh) and brought way too much drama to my life so I cut him out. We have a rocky history and I have pictures of messages of him calling me a demonic bitch and other things a priest shouldn't say.

So after months of no contact he sent a mass text message yesterday. DH kindly said "Please don't text me." Of course my uncle went off on him, which I can handle. But then he told DH that there are rumors from my family that I am leaving DH soon!!

Sorry but once you start trying to sabotage my marriage, it's on. DH knows that it's a lie but it still pisses me off. All I asked was for him to leave us alone!

I am tempted to sabotage his life like he did mine. Should I post the messages to his church website, FB, or some other evil plan?? Or be mature and let it go?

[kpol]

It might make you feel better to write the nasty letter but then delete it. He sounds like a crappy person but it's not worth your time or reputation to publicly broadcast whatever drama he has.

[pennylane]

I'm with kpol on this one. I know it's difficult, but ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't engage in the crazy.

[ilovelamp]

It's so hard to do. I want to hurt him like he hurt me and DH.

Maybe writing the letter would help. Do you have any other suggestions of how I can explain to DH how ignoring it is the best idea? He is having a hard time not wanting to destroy his life also.

[verycontrary247]

I can be a vindictive bitch, but I think planning to "sabotage the life" of someone who is obviously very unbalanced would be an empty victory. Save that effort for someone who is worth your wrath.

[pennylane]

I just wouldn't want to get in a pissing match with someone who is a nutjob- you probably won't win and you'll be wasting a lot of energy/emotion on it. Plus, it makes you look nuts in the long run too. If you need to say awful things about him or crack jokes about doing mean things then do it with your husband, where no one else will hear or know about it. Vent it out if you need to.

I have some crazy family members who have done really shitty things to me. I don't for one second regret cutting them out of my life or not engaging in their insanity.

[JakJak]

Oh my god, he sounds unhinged. I think this is one of the cases where you just need to take the higher ground and cut him out of your life. That really sucks that a priest is acting this way, do your parents know he's acting this way towards you? I know mine would be livid if one of their siblings was being this ridiculous.

[ilovelamp]

I took the high road and after screaming it out in my car, decided just to block his number. Getting DH on board will be more difficult.

Unfortunately he has treated many people in the family badly. He lent my mom some money to keep her house out of foreclosure, and for years after that dangled it over her head and made her cry about it. He is literally insane. Arguing with him is exhausting.

Pennylane, I like your idea about keeping it between DH and I

[ilovelamp]

The latest text message from him (sorry but I need to vent!). And yes I did block him earlier, but I can still see the messages unfortunately.

"You are dysfunctional and a mean evil whore. You are just desperate to stay with your dumb uneducated dick sucker."

[brandienee]

What an ass. I know that this goes without saying, but don't believe a word he says about you. Sometimes it is easier said than done though. A minister shouldn't be saying these things to ANYONE.

I second, Pennylane. Just ignore, and vent to your H. I had to cut my mom off for a while because she said stuff like this to me. I know how hurtful and intimidating that language can be.