FFF

[pandora]

Have at it!

[pandora]

I am being a total brat with my sister. Every time she gets back with her bf, I don't hear from her. They weren't really speaking for a week and she called me every day to talk about it. Then, I had to talk to her about something important, texted and called her and she texted me back that her car died and her bf was bringing her around to appointments so she was always with him and therefore couldn't talk. WTF? It took her a full week to call me back and now I'm just not answering the phone. I'm a brat, a passive aggressive one at that, but this is the crap she pulls with him around so.I'm giving her a taste of her own medicine. I'm a hormonal beast right now, I guess because I wouldn't let it bother me before but I don't like him and I hate that she is putting him before everyone when he doesn't deserve it. She's super successful, smart and beautiful - she can do better.

[TR]

I'm still pissed about something SO stupid, it's definitely flameful, so much so that I don't even know if I can post it, lol. I'll think about it.

[sweetchix]

Jan 22, 2016 8:24:06 GMT -5 TR said:

I'm still pissed about something SO stupid, it's definitely flameful, so much so that I don't even know if I can post it, lol. I'll think about it.

Do it!!! I posted about hellos last week. How dumb was that? lol

[TR]

Jan 22, 2016 8:42:54 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Jan 22, 2016 8:24:06 GMT -5 TR said:

I'm still pissed about something SO stupid, it's definitely flameful, so much so that I don't even know if I can post it, lol. I'll think about it.

Do it!!! I posted about hellos last week. How dumb was that? lol

Ugh this is worse, lol. So yesterday A posted something on Instagram. I noticed his ex-gf liked it. She does that sometimes (but never photos of the two of us). So I (because I'm a glutton for punishment) clicked on her profile, which is public, and noticed that around Christmastime he had liked a few of her photos. And that's it. I'm pissed about that, lol. Laaaaaame.

[sweetchix]

Jan 22, 2016 8:47:40 GMT -5 TR said:

Jan 22, 2016 8:42:54 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Do it!!! I posted about hellos last week. How dumb was that? lol

Ugh this is worse, lol. So yesterday A posted something on Instagram. I noticed his ex-gf liked it. She does that sometimes (but never photos of the two of us). So I (because I'm a glutton for punishment) clicked on her profile, which is public, and noticed that around Christmastime he had liked a few of her photos. And that's it. I'm pissed about that, lol. Laaaaaame.

Meh, I can understand that. Guess the flames would depend on how pissed you are?

My semi flameful... One of my coworkers is pg. I'm jealous. I miss being pg. I always wanted 3-4 kids. I'll be 40 this summer with no serious relationship in sight. Makes me kind of sad.

[jojoandleo]

Jan 22, 2016 8:47:40 GMT -5 TR said:

Jan 22, 2016 8:42:54 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Do it!!! I posted about hellos last week. How dumb was that? lol

Ugh this is worse, lol. So yesterday A posted something on Instagram. I noticed his ex-gf liked it. She does that sometimes (but never photos of the two of us). So I (because I'm a glutton for punishment) clicked on her profile, which is public, and noticed that around Christmastime he had liked a few of her photos. And that's it. I'm pissed about that, lol. Laaaaaame.

I get pissed about this kind of stuff. Petty, party of 2.

[jojoandleo]

Here you go, TR:

So, there is this girl. She is my friend's XSIL. I feel bad for her because homegirl has issues. Major major self-esteem issues. She has had so much work done (under the age of 30) that she has aged herself. BUT, she is a total social media attention whore. Five million selfies with a thousand hashtags. Like #Sun #lake #sunnylake #lakedays #sunnydays #days STAHP!!!!!!!!! She also posts pictures of her scantily clad with the duck face. H will occasionally like her pictures, and it makes me rage. H is still good friends with my friend's XH (And XH lives with his sister-XSIL) so they are friends too. But, like, this girl craves male attention! And you are giving it to her! NO! Stop! Everyone stop liking her shit so she will get therapy like the rest of us!

[TR]

Jan 22, 2016 11:29:00 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Here you go, TR :

Ha, thanks!

I know it's just social media, but it's just that it's not like he's going around liking all of MY photos so it stings when he IS liking some other girl's, you know? Whatever, I need to just chill. Clearly.

[mommadukes]

is he aware you are pissed about it TR

[jojoandleo]

Jan 22, 2016 11:42:11 GMT -5 TR said:

Jan 22, 2016 11:29:00 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Here you go, TR :

Ha, thanks!

I know it's just social media, but it's just that it's not like he's going around liking all of MY photos so it stings when he IS liking some other girl's, you know? Whatever, I need to just chill. Clearly.

Girl, I feel you. H rarely likes any of my pics on FB either! Although, I don't ever like his shit or post on his wall, so I am pretty much a giant hypocrite. BUT, I am also not liking pictures of guys I know half naked looking all pouty. So in conclusion:

[jojoandleo]

Jan 22, 2016 11:48:53 GMT -5 mommadukes said:

is he aware you are pissed about it TR

H knows it pisses me off, because I drunkenly told him. Because it really is a stupid thing to get pissed about. And if he was pissed about something similar, I would totally roll my eyes.  I get that liking her picture means exactly nothing, I just FEEL twitchy about it. He kind of told me I was getting pissed about nothing. It's social media. Then I lit him on fire (figuratively) and he hasn't liked her shit since. But if he does, I'll just quietly seethe and get over it. Because it really DOESN'T matter.

[TR]

Jan 22, 2016 11:48:53 GMT -5 mommadukes said:

is he aware you are pissed about it TR

He works out of town during the week (like lives there, it's 4.5 hours away) and hates talking on the phone - just to explain why the following exchange was via text:

Me: Are you and EXGF still in touch?
Him: Very infrequently. She doesn't live here anymore. We're still FB/IG friends. I have no interest in having anything more than an acquaintance type relationship with her.
Me: What's infrequently? And does it HAVE to include liking her photos?
Him: I love you and you're the only person I want to be with. About to get on the road. <3.
Me (after an hour delay): Sorry, was getting my hair cut, love you too, drive safe.

I didn't want to get into a whole THING while he was driving so I'm sure we'll talk tonight a bit and I can (calmly) just explain that it kind of hurts my feelings.

[bl]

TR I know Dallas would get somewhat upset about that if I did something similar. He would not be okay with me being friends with ExH or any serious exbf on fb or instagram and still following/liking their stuff. Its just something he feels strongly about, and while I don't really agree (in that I wouldn't care if he was friends with his ex and liked her stuff) I respect it because it's not a big deal to me, so why upset him over something that doesn't matter. I wasn't friends with exH when Dallas and I started dating and exbf sent me a friend request about a month ago (he had just gotten fb) I denied it because I knew he wouldn't love it. I think its okay to not love it.

My flameful is there is a place semi local to here that Dallas would like to transfer to through his job when/if the time comes to move. They posted his identical job 2 days ago and a part of me just wanted to tell him to do it. I know the timing isn't right yet and it is a huge move, but ugh I want that boy close to me.

[TR]

Jan 22, 2016 12:00:22 GMT -5 bl said:

TR I know Dallas would get somewhat upset about that if I did something similar. He would not be okay with me being friends with ExH or any serious exbf on fb or instagram and still following/liking their stuff. Its just something he feels strongly about, and while I don't really agree (in that I wouldn't care if he was friends with his ex and liked her stuff) I respect it because it's not a big deal to me, so why upset him over something that doesn't matter. I wasn't friends with exH when Dallas and I started dating and exbf sent me a friend request about a month ago (he had just gotten fb) I denied it because I knew he wouldn't love it. I think its okay to not love it.

I think what's making me even more annoyed is that, ok, so last fall I had a friend (male) of a new friend (female) do a custom painting of A's dog for Christmas. Kept it a secret and everything! Told him about the artist when I gave it to him and how I knew him. New friend brought artist to our kickboxing class once. We all get along. We start a group text about kickboxing, then artist breaks his leg, group text continues about random shit, Making a Murderer, etc. Two weeks or so ago, we all decide to hang out. Artist doesn't want to go out to dinner bc of crutches so we go to artist's house and hang out by his fire pit, all three of us. I tell A that this is happening. That weekend he's all, "What's the deal with Artist guy? I know he texts you and all of a sudden it's like you've got this other guy who has a prominent role in your life?" I was all, "Uhhh...no." (insert more discussion, not a fight, he's been cheated on so I get it). The next week, I tell Artist and New Friend that I'm backing off the group stuff. Out of RESPECT. Because whatever, doesn't matter to me. Apples and oranges, but it still feels a little hypocritical.

[jojoandleo]

bl-that was kind of H. He thought I was being silly (I mean, she is not an ex, nor would the two ever date), but while it isn't a big deal, it's ALSO not a big deal for him to just not like her shit. So, he stopped. Because it hurt my feelings. BUT, like I said, if I saw he liked her shit again, I don't think I would bring it up. Because it really doesn't matter. AND, I can't really pinpoint why THIS girl annoys me. I don't care about him liking any other girl's shit. I think it is because I know how insecure she is and I know how she acts around men. She is the type to flirt with your boyfriend so she can FEEL like she could totally have him if she wanted. And it makes me a bit caveman. I've stopped short of peeing on MH when she is around, though.

[bl]

TR are you going to talk more about it or just let it go and see if he does it again? Hopefully now that he knows it bothers you he won't.

jojoandleo I hate girls like that and I am normally not a jealous person at all, but could see myself being a little more clingy in a situation like that. Dallas is one of the friendliest people I know, so I have had to learn that he is not flirting, just being friendly. If we are out at a bar he buys shots for guys and girls a like and makes small talk with anyone, so I know it is not specific to girls, but when a girl thinks he's being all flirty and starts to react I have to remind myself of that. Especially since I am not that friendly, I am not used to it.

[TR]

Jan 22, 2016 13:49:36 GMT -5 bl said:

TR are you going to talk more about it or just let it go and see if he does it again? Hopefully now that he knows it bothers you he won't.
.

I'm not sure I was clear that it really bothered me/hurt my feelings so I'll mention that this evening when we see each other and then let it go.

[Deleted]

I'm really not cut out for a relationship. There is no way I would back off of a totally innocent friendship because my partner was insecure. I would need to date someone more secure. I also couldn't handle an entire conversation over liking things on social media. But then again everyone I've dated has had close female friends and I have male friendships. Of course if anything was like crossing the line into flirting or whatever that would be different.

[TR]

Jan 22, 2016 13:57:10 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I'm really not cut out for a relationship. There is no way I would back off of a totally innocent friendship because my partner was insecure. I would need to date someone more secure. I also couldn't handle an entire conversation over liking things on social media. But then again everyone I've dated has had close female friends and I have male friendships. Of course if anything was like crossing the line into flirting or whatever that would be different.

Would you like a cookie? A medal maybe?

[glitzyglow]

I had no idea who Alan Rickman was until he died. Or Glenn Frey. And I don't know any David Bowie songs, which I didn't realize until he died, either.

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2016 14:04:17 GMT -5 TR said:

Jan 22, 2016 13:57:10 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

I'm really not cut out for a relationship. There is no way I would back off of a totally innocent friendship because my partner was insecure. I would need to date someone more secure. I also couldn't handle an entire conversation over liking things on social media. But then again everyone I've dated has had close female friends and I have male friendships. Of course if anything was like crossing the line into flirting or whatever that would be different.

Would you like a cookie? A medal maybe?

It's flamefuls right? My flameful is I think this is a lot of nonsense to get worked up about and would be a huge turn off from someone I was dating. Clearly it's a big deal for others. Different strokes for different folks. 

[TR]

Jan 22, 2016 14:06:29 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Jan 22, 2016 14:04:17 GMT -5 TR said:

Would you like a cookie? A medal maybe?

It's flamefuls right? My flameful is I think this is a lot of nonsense to get worked up about and would be a huge turn off from someone I was dating. Clearly it's a big deal for others. Different strokes for different folks. 

It' wasn't flameful, but it did come off as highly condescending.

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2016 14:07:50 GMT -5 TR said:

Jan 22, 2016 14:06:29 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

It's flamefuls right? My flameful is I think this is a lot of nonsense to get worked up about and would be a huge turn off from someone I was dating. Clearly it's a big deal for others. Different strokes for different folks. 

It' wasn't flameful, but it did come off as highly condescending.

Well then you can flame me for being highly condescending. 

[bl]

@pdx18 if I had a close friend that was a guy and had never been more than a friend I would definitely not end that friendship. I would want them all to meet and be friendly with each other, if the friend was not close enough/important enough for me to make that happen then I would let it go, if it upset my SO. I think jojoandleo has said it best in the past they need to be friends of the relationship. However I can understand that some people don't think you should remain friends with ex's and that's what mine was in regards to, and I am 100% willing to respect that. I am sure there are plenty of guys out there that don't care, but there are others that would. I have no issue with opposite sex friends and I even have no issue with ex's being friends, but the ex thing is where Dallas and I are different, and I respect his thoughts on it.

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2016 14:18:58 GMT -5 bl said:

@pdx18 if I had a close friend that was a guy and had never been more than a friend I would definitely not end that friendship. I would want them all to meet and be friendly with each other, if the friend was not close enough/important enough for me to make that happen then I would let it go, if it upset my SO. I think jojoandleo has said it best in the past they need to be friends of the relationship. However I can understand that some people don't think you should remain friends with ex's and that's what mine was in regards to, and I am 100% willing to respect that. I am sure there are plenty of guys out there that don't care, but there are others that would. I have no issue with opposite sex friends and I even have no issue with ex's being friends, but the ex thing is where Dallas and I are different, and I respect his thoughts on it.

I agree with most of this. I think actually hanging out and seeing exes one on one can be a bit of a gray area and but I think if it's important, then I would want my partner to make an effort to at least meet them (and vise versa), and I would agree to something like not hanging out one on one. But a social media like? Not something I have it in me to care about. I'd rather save discussions like that for things "I" consider more important. 

I think if I had a male friend who my partner had met and then felt uncomfortable with for reason they could articulate, like he was picking up on that friend doing small things to not be a friend to the relationship, I would respect that. But if they just didn't like it because I was engaging with them and hanging out with them and they happen to be male? No, especially when it's within a group. 

If I'm not doing anything wrong, and nothing even looks "off," then I sort of think there needs to be a middle ground. And the insecure person should look at why they are so insecure when nothing is going on and I'm doing a perfectly normal thing. Overall I don't think the default should be that someone is insecure so the other person should do everything to make them feel secure. At some point they would need to address why they are so insecure and work on themselves as well. Now this clearly doesn't apply to things like that insane chick jojoandleo was talking about who was clearly into her husband. That was nutters. But I think jojo handled it really, really well. 

Again this is just want I need and want in a relationship. What everyone else does works for them and is their business. 

[jigsy]

TR - I would probably be pretty upset if I saw Vegas liking on of his exgf instagram posts...I mean, we have a different dynamic there, but I still would not be cool about it, mostly for petty reasons. I mean, I am still annoyed that his exgf liked a picture of my dog on his instagram. WTF girl - no! My dog! You don't get to like him!

But...I also cringed a little with your text convo. I guess it is positive that you feel like you can talk about these things with A. I would bitch to mp about it and only bring it up if it was an actual issue.

Unrelated....

Last night, I was watching The Office with Vegas and in this particular episode, two characters had moved in together. Vegas said something like "That shouldn't happen unless he puts a ring on it" so I said - Oh, so that is how that is supposed to happen...when in my head I was more like - wait - Wut. No. I think I maybe need to talk about it more, but I think that is not an opinion I am ok with because I would definitely want to live with someone before engagement/marriage...so....yeah.

[Deleted]

jigsy yea that more articulates how I feel. I understand being annoyed and I too would bitch about it with a girlfriend, but not bring it up to him.

[TR]

:::shrug::: I'd rather be honest. I'd hate to think I did something that hurt someone's feelings and they were upset and didn't let me know. If it was a random girl or friend, whatever. I'd maybe be annoyed, but not hurt and wouldn't say anything to him. But this is a girl he dated for a year and a half before me so it's different to me.

[redshoejune]

I'm jealous of a pregnant coworker too.