Let's do a Friday Flameful

[starburst604]

Jan 29, 2016 17:24:47 GMT -5 pandora said:

I had plans to meet.up with a friend tomorrow. I've been trying to see her for 2 months now to tell her about the baby to no avail.

Turns out that she's planning a hike in the am and bbq after. I can't really hike between my back and being pregnant. You would think that food after would be perfect, right? Nope, she's a huge pot head and I don't want to be in her house with the windows closed breathing the pot while pregnant. I may just say F it and just skip her as she's been such a PIA to see. Am I being a flame worthy, hormonal B? I have waited 2 months to announce publicly because of her and I think I'm done waiting.

Could you tell her you're injured and hiking is out, and suggest meeting for lunch at a restaurant?

[Deleted]

Jan 29, 2016 16:18:17 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Jan 29, 2016 16:03:40 GMT -5 dreamcrisp1 said:

Yep I felt the same. Then it started again in the apology thread. Sigh.

Exactly.  Sometimes things just need to be let go.  

Well I guess this a flameful thread, so appropriate to be posted here.

I'm sure you're not the only one who thinks this way, as people mentioned it in the posts, but damn, I wish shit (thoughts and actions) would change one day in this generation. Maybe in the far future. It's exhausting being a person of color in this country to be told to just let things go. I certainly am not up all night upset about what people on ML/gbcn have said in regards to racial topics, but it's clearly a part of a bigger problem that obviously affects our every day lives. So until things actually change, stop telling us to let things go. 

[cuddlyevil]

I told my mom to walk out of her job in an email to her work email. She responded that her boss suggested that they all walk out--that's how their day went yesterday.

[pandora]

Jan 29, 2016 21:14:59 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Jan 29, 2016 17:24:47 GMT -5 pandora said:

I had plans to meet.up with a friend tomorrow. I've been trying to see her for 2 months now to tell her about the baby to no avail.

Turns out that she's planning a hike in the am and bbq after. I can't really hike between my back and being pregnant. You would think that food after would be perfect, right? Nope, she's a huge pot head and I don't want to be in her house with the windows closed breathing the pot while pregnant. I may just say F it and just skip her as she's been such a PIA to see. Am I being a flame worthy, hormonal B? I have waited 2 months to announce publicly because of her and I think I'm done waiting.

Could you tell her you're injured and hiking is out, and suggest meeting for lunch at a restaurant?

It's now a group of people going so unfortunately, I can't get her 1:1 tomorrow. I tried to see her tonight thinking i could bag tomorrow but she wanted to stay in tonight since she was out last night, too.

I started drafting ideas to just announce on FB but I really wanted to tell her in person first. I wish it was just her and I tomorrow! Can't seem to get her 1:1 anymore. We used to do lunch often but our schedules aren't meshing and she's been swamped with work so no lunch flexibility.

I know she may feel bad when she realizes why I'm trying to see her 1:1 for so long!

[pandora]

Jan 29, 2016 21:12:49 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

I still pop in from time to time to see what everyone is up to. I don't wanna bore people with baby stuff, and life is freaking BUSY! And now I'm that mom that has to worry about food allergies and blah blah. See? Boring. Ha.

Not boring! Been following and song lady that you are finding out now instead of after the fact! Poor baby girl but so glad her parents have her back!!

Not birung! /gavel

[pandora]

Jan 30, 2016 3:10:36 GMT -5 pandora said:

Jan 29, 2016 21:12:49 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

I still pop in from time to time to see what everyone is up to. I don't wanna bore people with baby stuff, and life is freaking BUSY! And now I'm that mom that has to worry about food allergies and blah blah. See? Boring. Ha.

Not boring! Been following and song lady that you are finding out now instead of after the fact! Poor baby girl but so glad her parents have her back!!

Not birung! /gavel

Gah, **BORING - how did THAT get by my spaz spell check??

[pandora]

Jan 29, 2016 17:21:14 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Awww pandora big hugs! I feel you on the pet guilt. I actually had a really hard time feeling like i was "left" with autzen. While I love him and all there was such a special bond with Paco. So if I had lost Autzen first, Paco would have comforted me. But as the time goes on I'm starting to really enjoy what Autzen has to offer and that he's just different. I hope you and the kitty warm up to each other!

Thanks, pdx. I'm glad that you're developing a deeper connection with Autzen. That makes me happy.

The brother, Malachi, has been standoffish and skiddish (sp?) since Pandora passed. She was always the leader and looked out for the other two and especially Malachi since birth (why I couldn't bare to separate them when I saw their connection - nothing any of us had seen before. I picked her only early on). He's stressed and stays mostly on my bed now - maybe depressed? I don't know. He has lymphoma so I keep a close eye on him, too (he's on meds and is stable still). I'm losing my babies.

Jade, the 3rd is the only healthy one, gah. Yes, I'm still counting 3 - i can't say 2 yet...

[starburst604]

pandora, I demand a FB announcement!! It's so much fun!! I woke up to a giant poosplosion this morning - all over her, the sheet and bumper, mattress pad and lovey. Happy Saturday, the glamour continues!!! Are you ready for this?!

[starburst604]

I just thought of an actual flameful. So my ex BF is a big ole snob. Married to an even bigger snob. Me and the ex have exactly 1 common friend on FB, and my H is FB friends with this person too. I love my H dearly but his grammar can be horrible. He has me read over important business emails before he sends them. He doesn't even use FB that much, but I saw last night he commented on the mutual friend's status and it said "should of". I have no idea if ex BF even knows who my H is or even ever reads FB, but I was cringing that he might see that. H is an awesome husband and dad in so many ways, and all ex BF will see is that his grammar sucks, and turn his snobby nose up over it. I shouldn't care what that idiot thinks, but I visibly winced when I read that.

[boing]

I still lurk even though I don't consider myself starting over anymore, I'm just kind of attached to this place.
And I have a flameful.

*Dd -divorce vent*. I appreciate that I have a place to vent about that to people who understand, thank you ❤️

[glitzyglow]

1234FIF!! I can relate so much with your post. My divorce was finalized 4 years ago this month and I've not had a serious relationship in that time.

I had a similar moment of realization in October 2015, about a month after I turned 30 last year. Like you, it made a huge change in how I functioned and felt. I still have bad days, but overall I keep coming back to what I can control and enjoying what I have. I think I'm a good partner and I find myself really energized by having a partner; but since I don't it wasn't doing me any favors over focusing on the fact that I don't have a partner, so it was time to give myself and my present life that attention.

I "get" it is what I was trying to say, a little long winded.

[starburst604]

Hugs boing. That rush of emotion is normal.

[dreamcrisp1]

Jan 29, 2016 21:32:14 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Jan 29, 2016 16:18:17 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Exactly.  Sometimes things just need to be let go.  

Well I guess this a flameful thread, so appropriate to be posted here.

I'm sure you're not the only one who thinks this way, as people mentioned it in the posts, but damn, I wish shit (thoughts and actions) would change one day in this generation. Maybe in the far future. It's exhausting being a person of color in this country to be told to just let things go. I certainly am not up all night upset about what people on ML/gbcn have said in regards to racial topics, but it's clearly a part of a bigger problem that obviously affects our every day lives. So until things actually change, stop telling us to let things go. 

I just want to say, I didn't say let it go. I live in this world too. I know this world all too well and it fucking sucks. And it hasn't changed a bit since I was a child to now. Maybe in certain areas but there are still towns I go too and the looks. I think a part of me just wishes this wasn't the way of the world and I don't even like to think or talk about it. And then it was here where I come to read random crap. I am fortunate enough to now live in a big diverse city which helps a ton to "avoid it" but I don't know. Ah, hope that made sense.

[Deleted]

1234FIF!! I left my husband five years ago in August. I haven't met the right man yet either. I feel ya. It can be a frustrating process and leaves me wondering "why not me?" But I also look back on how much I've grown and changed in those five years. I really don't think that if I had gotten in a relationship it would have lasted either because I just wasn't healthy enough or because what I want in a partner has changed.

I'm not a religious person by any means but I do sort of think the universe has a loose plan for everyone who is able to get out of their own way. So I figure something good is coming my way when I'm ready for it. I do really worry about what happens if I haven't met that person by the time both of parent's die (I'm an only child) at that point I won't be anyone's priority or have that unconditional love. So that scares me a lot.

[Deleted]

Jan 30, 2016 12:51:36 GMT -5 dreamcrisp1 said:

Jan 29, 2016 21:32:14 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Well I guess this a flameful thread, so appropriate to be posted here.

I'm sure you're not the only one who thinks this way, as people mentioned it in the posts, but damn, I wish shit (thoughts and actions) would change one day in this generation. Maybe in the far future. It's exhausting being a person of color in this country to be told to just let things go. I certainly am not up all night upset about what people on ML/gbcn have said in regards to racial topics, but it's clearly a part of a bigger problem that obviously affects our every day lives. So until things actually change, stop telling us to let things go. 

I just want to say, I didn't say let it go. 

You're right. You didn't explicitly say "let it go." However, I know exactly what your words implied when you responded to 1confused1's fucked up statements. This is example 5,694 of how people don't take us seriously until shit hits the fan because now one of us has been personally targeted AT HOME. 

[1confused1]

Jan 30, 2016 16:29:22 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Jan 30, 2016 12:51:36 GMT -5 dreamcrisp1 said:

I just want to say, I didn't say let it go. 

You're right. You didn't explicitly say "let it go." However, I know exactly what your words implied when you responded to 1confused1 's fucked up statements. This is example 5,694 of how people don't take us seriously until shit hits the fan because now one of us has been personally targeted AT HOME. 

I wasn't saying you needed to let anything go (I apologize if that is how it came across), other posters who can't get out of their own way do.  

I think what happened is disgusting.  I didn't get involved (or read much of) the super post because I have nothing to add.  I don't think booby is ever going to learn or accept what she says or how she says things can hurt other people.  

[dreamcrisp1]

Jan 30, 2016 16:29:22 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Jan 30, 2016 12:51:36 GMT -5 dreamcrisp1 said:

I just want to say, I didn't say let it go. 

You're right. You didn't explicitly say "let it go." However, I know exactly what your words implied when you responded to 1confused1's fucked up statements. This is example 5,694 of how people don't take us seriously until shit hits the fan because now one of us has been personally targeted AT HOME. 

Ok, then. I don't know who "us" is and I am livid that someone has targeted Smo. She's a wonderful and kind person. And even if she wasn't, no one deserves that. It is unacceptable.

[pandora]

Jan 30, 2016 7:43:31 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

pandora, I demand a FB announcement!! It's so much fun!! I woke up to a giant poosplosion this morning - all over her, the sheet and bumper, mattress pad and lovey. Happy Saturday, the glamour continues!!! Are you ready for this?!

Lol, maaaaaaaybe not the poopsplosions! I have a few months for that, right? ;p

I didn't go at all today. I texted that I've been trying to see her for several months as I have something very important to share in person. If I don't see her soon, it will end up not being in person, unfortunately (I said). Then, followed up with asking for lunch on Monday. Heard back after the first but she's got a house full of people so I'll probably hear back tomorrow. If she can't do lunch Mon or Tuesday then it is time for the announcement - well, will be either way!!! I took a pic of me and my belleh last night and it's cute but no makeup so maybe I'll do another tomorrow when I look a little less au natural, lol. It's not bad though and it's a pic of me all surprised. I'll also include baby's 20 week u/s pics - his first FB pic,lol. It's cute! You'll see!!!

I've been going back and forth with the wording. I'm being selective with who I share it with on there so it's not going to be every single FB friend. I'm excited! !

[jojoandleo]

Jan 30, 2016 16:29:22 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Jan 30, 2016 12:51:36 GMT -5 dreamcrisp1 said:

I just want to say, I didn't say let it go. 

You're right. You didn't explicitly say "let it go." However, I know exactly what your words implied when you responded to 1confused1's fucked up statements. This is example 5,694 of how people don't take us seriously until shit hits the fan because now one of us has been personally targeted AT HOME. 

I'm sorry. I don't really go to ML and while I read it all, it was already a good 20 pages and I didn't feel I could add anything. I do spend time on CEP and have learned a lot and I need to do better about speaking up on here about this shit. I 100% understood why Kirkette was so angry and why she went where she did. If I had dealt with half of what she has, I would probably be in jail for lighting shit on fire. I'm also sorry this bullshit has spread across so many boards making you feel the need to continue educating people.

I do not think anyone needs to accept the apology or move on. I also understand the people who feel the needs to step away. It is not the POC posters' job to make us realize our privilege. I need to be a better ally. We all (white posters) need to read the threads that make us uncomfortable.

[Wanderista]

I don't come on here so frequently anymore. I guess I'm someone who felt like I "graduated". I didn't want to make others feel bad and I felt quite removed from some of the topics. I also have always had a hard time with opening myself up randomly on the anonymous internet, but at the same time, what brought me to linger at GBCN was a desire to be friendly and to interact with different people from all over. I like to maintain my privacy because while most people are fine, there are some weirdos out there. I also do not want GBCN to cross paths with my professional life. This is simply because I do not want it to limit me. I don't want an employer or client to Google my random thoughts. :-P

Anyway, I'll try to be around a bit more. Things are generally going well for me. I certainly wish the best for everyone on this board.

I don't read ML, it's just not my thing. As for CEP, I went on there once and it wasn't for me, personally. I do think it's really scary when I hear about things like people being targeted at home. There are some creepy people out there.