My MIL has always made it pretty obvious that my BIL her favorite son. Let's call him Dan (not his real name). Dan lives in Japan, and probably will live there forever since he is completely fluent, loves his job/career, and for the past three years has lived with has Japanese girlfriend (who speaks no English). They'll likely get married sometime soon.
About a year ago my ILs suggested that the four of us (DH and I, and them) buy some sort of duplex, or house with an IL suite, or build two houses on a lot of land. They want to retire in about 10 years and do the snow-bird thing where they spend half the year in Florida. We immediately shot down the idea of them living with us.
So now my MIL has it in her head that she is going to talk Dan and his girlfriend (who speaks no English) to move home and get a duplex/whatever housing arrangement with them. She plans on wooing the girlfriend with promises of large American kitchens and closets (Dan and his gf live in 400sf in Tokyo).
Here's the kicker: my husband's grandparents are really too old and sickly to live on their own anymore. They also plan on wooing Dan and his gf into moving home and moving in with them (the gf would be their caretaker since she's in nursing school in Japan). Right...because apparently the gf would want to move to the US and take care of grandparents she doesn't even know.
No one has even talked to Dan about either of these plans yet, but they both (separately) told DH and I of these plans over the weekend. MIL made sure to mention that she's going to offer this arrangement to Dan because my DH and I already declined her, and we were pretty much like, "Yep, we still don't want to live with you."
I love my ILs, but sheesh. Dan is in for a fun vacation.
Omg can you imagine having to translate that to your girlfriend? I'm also a little offended that your mom is trying to woo a woman with closets and kitchens. Kinda sexist. But anyways, your brother is in for some fun during those conversations!
I'm 20 minutes into work and I'm already ready to punch my coworker in the face. She plays terrible music without headphones (and I know that she has some in her desk!), makes lots of personal calls, and pounds her keyboard. She didn't do any of this before we got moved to cubicles. Some people just don't understand how cubicles work.
Post by winnieandwine on Feb 1, 2016 9:44:03 GMT -5
I'm proud of myself for being on top of V-day this year. typically I'm the underachiever in the relationship who hands over a card and drugstore candy.
I've made dinner reservations and got my H a real gift. I'm trying to woo him into subscriptions/personal care goodies. (devil)
$39 shipped w/ an extra sample pack and 20% off code (TAKEALEAP20)
sfy, i heard what (i thought, anyway) was the tail end of "your" song played by some lovely piano dude in penn station this morning. and of course it made think of you. and then i promptly listened to that song on my walk to work. good way to start the morning!
Also, my vent for the day: I put an out of office up every friday so my clients know i am, haha, out of the office and won't respond promptly to their emails. though i often do, just not until nighttime when DD goes to bed. mind you i'm not even paid to work on fridays, but i do this because i am a good employee.
anyway, i take it down when i get to the office before 9 am. today a partner emailed me and asked me to take it down on sunday nights. OK buddy. it's just so paternalistic and childish. one of my biggest complaints with my job, i always feel like on one hand, i'm completely autonomous and independent and then every once in a while these jerks swoop in and treat me like a complete child.
Post by irene adler on Feb 1, 2016 10:32:24 GMT -5
@bellakitty, both my and DH's family do that--make elaborate plans that they just expect us to go along with and get pissed when we don't do what they want (see: my SIL explaining to me that she needs to fly back from the family wedding on Monday because it will be easier for her and her kids and absolutely not hearing us when we say we have to work so that's not an option) There is a reason we are outsiders in DH's family. At least my family is far away so it is Infrequent
genet313,Outlook has a setting so you can schedule your out of office message to end on Sundays (or whatever day/time you want). That level of micromanaging is annoying though.
genet313 ,Outlook has a setting so you can schedule your out of office message to end on Sundays (or whatever day/time you want). That level of micromanaging is annoying though.
Post by jerseyjaybird on Feb 1, 2016 10:48:32 GMT -5
genet313, I would be in a RAGE. My boss is totally paternalistic (misogynistic, too), only he's a far-left liberal, so he thinks he's this super nice and sensitive guy. It would somehow feel better if he were just an old-school conservative (so common in my working environment), maybe?
I keep being tempted to apply for jobs in NYC despite the fact that (1) the commute is just not tenable and (2) I know that the salary ranges are lower, and the benefits and job security poorer, than what I have here. It's a gilded cage.
In Coming to America, Imani (the bride that Akeem's parents selected for him before he went to America and found Lisa) was trained from birth to serve him. After Akeem rejected her, WTF happened to her? WTF was she supposed to do after that? Poor girl
And were there more girls besides her who were trained as potential brides for Akeem, or was she the only one? She said she was trained to serve him from birth which suggests that she may have been the only one, but then King Jaffe Joffer /James Earl Jones said that they went to a lot of trouble to select a "very fine wife" for Akeem (which suggests that they didn't just choose Imani as an infant since they couldn't possibly have known that back then) so maybe they had a pool of women from which to choose. Either way, yikes.
Post by UnderProtest on Feb 1, 2016 11:14:15 GMT -5
I'm so fed up with this country (UK). Why is everything so difficult? Why is it like waking the dead to get a package delivered? Why do they constantly lie to me about where the package is? I don't even want this damn package but I waited home all day (except for 20 minutes to go get my kid from school) and guess when they supposedly tried to deliver it? Oh, but they WANT to deliver it because they don't get paid until they have a delivery signature, but they won't deliver it to the apartment building 100 ft down the street with a door person/porter. Why do I get a hassle when I call the main number on your website and get connected to a depot in some god forsaken part of the UK instead of London?
And in other news, the shop didn't have the bike helmet like they said they would, the toy shop was closed so I can't get a birthday present and my washer is pouring water out of the top for the umpteenth time in a month.
@bellakitty, that sounds like it will be really successful for your inlaws. Who thinks this way?
Basically, they miss their precious baby (Dan, my BIL) because we only get to see him about every two years. That's understandable.
The crazy part is that none of them realize he doesn't want to move home, and even if he did, he's not the only part of this equation since he and his girlfriend are serious about each other.
Also, my MIL wants someone to take care of her house while she snowbirds in FL, which I also understand, but I can't cry out loud enough, "NOT IT!" At least DH and I are on the same page there.
Post by explorer2001 on Feb 1, 2016 12:07:00 GMT -5
We are having unusually cold rainy weather for the area. My old injuries have all decided to act like barometers today. I skipped walking the pup this morning because I didn't trust my knee to hold out given that I woke up limping.
I hope pup does ok with todays weather.
Oh a happier note, I'm still enjoying the flowers that Pom sent and looking forward to Valentine's day with Boyfriend.
@bellakitty I wonder if they think gf will e ok with *because* she's Japanese :-#
I don't think it's because she's Japanese specifically; I think it's just more like, "hey, who doesn't want to move to America and have a walk-in closet?" Although in light of recent GBCN discussions, that has me wondering, is that a micro-aggression?
Never mind the fact that this girl has been in a relationship with my BIL for three years and has made zero attempt to learn English, her whole family is in Japan, and she'd have to go through nursing school all over again if she moved here. Plus my BIL loves it there. The ILs and grandparents-IL just want him to move home and aren't being realistic at all about it.
My parents are suddenly considering building an accessory garage behind the house we're renting from them. Sounds great! Except I'm having a baby in May and I will be god damned if they're hammering nails 15' from where my child is sleeping...