I've been in therapy for just over a year now and finally feel like I'm in control 99% of the time. I still have binge eating urges but the binge and purge cycle seems to have really slowed down in the past 4 months. Without thinking about the impact on my therapy visits, I changed my family over to an HSA insurance plan and then realized that my $30 copays with my therapist are now going to be $128/visit. I don't want the price to deter me from going, but I do feel like I can really take a step back. I had been going weekly, then every other week, then once a month and now I'm thinking either every other month, or maybe just on demand? She's comfortable with whatever I want to do, and is confident that every other month would be a good schedule for me. She also gave me a few book suggestions and I have an actual workbook with meditations that she wants me to focus on as well.
Anyone else out here struggling or recovering from bulimia? How's it going for you?
I'm a recovering EDNOS with bulimic tendencies (I was a bulimic in all ways except I didn't do it regularly enough, and my binges weren't really binges). I was struggling for over 10 years, so while after the first year I felt 'better', a lot of that was relative to how shit things were prior. It wasn't until I faced another bump in my life that it was put to the test. I think as long as your therapist is easy enough to get an appointment for, in the case of a hard time, it's fine to step back if you have some strategies in place to help you. You need to remember that if you need it - you're worth the money.
For me, the biggest work has been the self-esteem/body image/perfectionism stuff. That's been much longer a road to fix whereas the behaviors have been easier to fix. I avoid anything that's triggering as much as possible, I use affirmations (my favorites right now are "you're here to be awesome, not to look awesome" and "it doesn't have to be perfect to be worth it"), I meditate, I walk, I talk to people. I'm very aware of the possibilities of co-morbidities - instead of purging - drinking too much, calorie counting too much, minor self harm.
Despite as dismal as that last paragraph sound, I'm in a really good place - and it seems like you're on your way there too.
Great to hear from you! I completely understand your feelings with self esteem and body image. I was 250+ lbs. when I graduated college, got engaged and lost 75 lbs. for my wedding. Then when I plateaued with weight loss I became bulimic. I still want to lose about 20 lbs. but dieting is so hard with keeping my ED under control. And my therapist seconds that, and says if I do want to start trying to lose again she wants me in the office no more than every other week and only weighing in there. So I don't know... I'm doing well with intuitive eating but also get really bent out of shape when I don't have total control over my food (at a party, invited to dinner, book club) and try to keep alcohol almost completely cut out. I'd like to loosen up a little more but I know it takes time.