for school, every morning, like she's had to do for the last 2.5 years of her life.
It is apparently too much to ask these days and is a fight every morning. We pick out her clothes the night before. We talk about all the fun things she'll get to do at school, but nope, every morning is the same fight.
I told DH I feel like I'm going crazy b/c literally every morning is like groundhog day with her.
This morning was not good. After 10 minutes of trying to just get her out of bed and onto the potty, I snapped. I basically had to pin her down to take off her PJs and get her dressed. It was awful. I felt so bad afterward, but I have to go to work.
She's not like this with anyone else. Seriously, over the weekend she was an angel when my mom got her dressed.
Plus, right now we're in an apt and she doesn't have a lot of places to run. I dread what happens when we're in a house 3x the size of this place.
My DD is going through a similar phase with me, but luckily she cooperates better for DH and he's around in the morning to get her dressed when I give up. Which is basically every day. Can you try getting her up earlier and if she throws a fit, leave her alone while you get ready and try again a little while later?
When you move, close the bedroom door and put a kid lock on it so she can't get out.
We have him get dressed and brush teeth/hair first thing after he wakes up, and if he does with no complaining, he can watch a 10 minute tv show while he eats breakfast. It's been the only reliable thing that works to get him ready without a fight.
Oh, we've been here for months and months. I literally just did the pin her down thing moments before reading this. I cannot take her to school because of this. DH has more flexibility with his schedule. I would miss my train everyday.
I distract mine with tv or the iPad, wait until she's engrossed in a show, then dress her. I also dodge the "where are we going?" question. She whines and cries if I tell her school BUT she is happy as a clam during the school day, talks about it nonstop, sings the songs all the time, and asks to go to school at random times and cries when the answer is no. It's just a control thing.
At that age we had a little routine where I would read a page of a book for every piece of clothing she took on or off. Take off you jammie top, get a page. Put on a sock, get a page. It was the only thing that worked.
She went to stay with my mom for a few days and I explained this to her. She looked at me like I was insane and told me she would just tell Nora to put her clothes on. Of course, that was exactly what she did for my mom, making me look like a total chump.
((Hugs)) We have the same issue. And now she throws a fit because she doesnt want to wear that. Meanwhile she didnt even look at what I am trying to put on her.
AmyRI I actually do wake her about 5 minutes earlier than necessary in the hope that she can take some time to wake up. I usually just come in, turn off her sound machine and rub her back a bit to wake her up. No lights or anything.
dcn I don't think she'll go for that b/c putting her PJs on at bedtime is one thing she loves to do. So I wouldn't want to take that from her, KWIM?
She is old enough for a visual schedule so she can follow the steps and some times that helps. We use one for DD (potty, brush teeth, clothes on, fix hair, Breakfast (tv/iPad time), shoes on, off to school) and it helps by putting the expectations where she can see them and knows what comes next.
Also is she getting enough sleep? She may be having a growth spurt and needing to sleep more and it's making her grouchy in the morning.
Some mornings DD doesn't want to get dressed and frankly I don't blame her, neither do I! She doesn't fight going to daycare, she just doesn't want to take her pajamas off. So I send her in her pajamas and then put her outfit in a bag and bring that with us to daycare. Is that an option? I go to an in-home so I realize it's different than a center and my DC lady doesn't mind at all and has actually encouraged me to do it before if it makes it easier. For me, it's just not a battle that I think is worth it. So she goes to school in pajamas, so what?
Post by nextbigthing on Feb 17, 2016 9:57:27 GMT -5
I go through this every day with my 11 month old, I fear when he's a toddler.
The only thing that works is I hand him his bottle to drink while I change his diaper, put socks, pants, shoes on, then once he's finished, I wrestle and fight to get his shirt and jacket on.
Not the best advice, but if there's some sort of distraction she'd like, maybe try that.
Are you me? I had the worst morning with DS. He even threw his underwear at me when I handed it to him. Then of course he had a major meltdown when I told him the consequences of throwing things at me, which meant he was even more useless at getting ready this morning. DH usually takes him to daycare but he's traveling next week so it is just me. I fear for my sanity if he is like this next week.
I'm not sure what I can do to change that she has to get up. I'm not going to introduce any screen time at this point before school. I'll try a chart and maybe a timer would help?
Today, for example, as soon as I got close to the bed she said "go away mommy" and if I get too close, the kicking starts.
Today is fun bus day, she gets to wear her fun bus shirt (that I always make sure is clean) and she'll get 2 stamps for having it on. But apparently that's not good enough motivation.
Usually I start with validating DD's feelings. 'You don't feel like getting dressed for school. You want to play instead of getting ready. Sometimes I feel like that too.'
Give that a few seconds to sink in. 'I know it's hard when we have to get dressed and don't want to.'
Then give a choice. 'Would you like to start with your pants or your shirt?'
If she says no, I say, 'sounds like you need me to pick for you today. Let's start with your shirt.'
Etc.
Sometimes it also helps to sing a song while getting her dressed--not a song about getting dressed, just a song she usually enjoys. This works 9/10 times.
DD also needs me to build in enough time that she can play for a bit at home before we have to leave.
Post by thebreakfastclub on Feb 17, 2016 10:18:32 GMT -5
The answer for me is always gummy vitamins, LOL. Once he pees in the potty and gets dressed, he earns 2 gummies. I have them in my hand, so close yet so far away.
The latest drama involves constantly wanting to wear his 2 pairs of pants with zippers on them, and wanting to wear a striped shirt that another boy in daycare also owns. He asks for them daily and is highly annoyed when they are dirty and can't be worn.
I am so relieved for a boy sometimes, as hair is a non issue.
I am so relieved for a boy sometimes, as hair is a non issue.
Hair is the easy part! She's very into having me braid it so I do that while she brushes her teeth. Or she'll say "Mommy I need a ponytail for fun bus day." No problem kid!
I've definitely taken all three of my kids to the car naked or nearly so (it's particularly effective in the winter) and buckled them in because they refused to get dressed and it was time to leave. I then got them dressed once we got to daycare. I only had to do it once with each of them before they were always willing to get dressed. .
Can you get her to bed a half an hour earlier so that she's read to wake up?
We've had plenty of getting ready/dressed battles but I've never had to wake them up b/c I'm home and preschool or the school bus is later than daycare usually.
My kids would all pitch a fit if they had to get dressed right away - does she eat at home or do anything else besides get dressed before you leave? We come downstairs, eat breakfast and there might even be 5 minutes to color before we do clothes, hair & teeth. Having a reliable routine for this help a lot, too.
And don't feel bad about pinning her down to dress her; it had to be done and she wouldn't cooperate.
You can try a picture chart/list of everything that has to be done in the morning and check each thing off or put a sticker on or whatever if she does it when first asked.
We have mornings like this too. For DD1 I think part of it is the weather. She is sick of winter and just wants to be outside and play, but it is too cold.
Post by mandapanda18 on Feb 17, 2016 11:45:25 GMT -5
I send him to daycare in his pj's and let them deal with it. I dread the day that I have to do it for actual school. He fights me to take off his damn diaper and put on a pull up
Post by hopecounts on Feb 17, 2016 11:49:07 GMT -5
If at all possible I would shift her bedtime back a half hour or so. It sounds like she is not ready to wake up, shifting her bedtime to a little earlier may help her get her normal amount of sleep and be in a better frame of mind.
If she loves her pjs so much would that be worth using as leverage to get dressed in the morning. If you can't get dressed in the morning you have to do it at night and have to wear clothes rather than pjs to bed.
Or, I am not above pinning down, sometimes you just need to get things done.
Post by steamboat185 on Feb 17, 2016 12:03:39 GMT -5
At 2.5 we have the same issues too. When she is having a really rough morning I will pick out three shirt options and let her pick. Usually she will cave and choose one and then the rest goes quicker.
Post by carolinagirl831 on Feb 17, 2016 12:13:06 GMT -5
My dd who will be 3 in 2 weeks is so difficult to get dressed. She just whines she wants her jammies, It's a struggle every day. Once she is dressed she is fine, it's just a power struggle with her I think. We've tried reward charts, ect. but she still struggles every day.