someone egg me on... (btw, S came in anyway, lol!)

[thiswillbe]

My lovely wife has a bad case of the baby rabies. I am pretty sure if she could knock me up all on her own, I would be pregnant right now. (Of course I say that completely tongue-in-cheek.) She has a close friend at work who is pregnant, and she keeps telling me how she misses rubbing my belly, going to appointments, etc.

So: Should I capitalize on this? Make an appointment with the RE just to find out the options/play "what if"? Start looking for less expensive daycares so we could swing it financially? I am sorely tempted to take her baby desires and run with them. Thoughts?

[twotrue]

I think you should probably just investigate at least the financial aspect. I would hate to see you dive into the medical part only to determine that the $ just isn't there. Or that the stress of the $ not being there is too much.

For me, the $ is first because it will have an impact on your current kids. If you're stressed about it, they are impacted. If you have to choose a lesser quality daycare, they are impacted (not that you would choose one, but that's an option when trying to make ends meet).

And there needs to be talks about whether or not you could make it work if you have twins again.

And last, but not least, for me I would wait until you are moved and have a renter in your old home before beginning this process. But I'm someone who feels better if I complete one project at a time to the best of my ability, rather than doing three, and doing them half-ass.

[thiswillbe]

BUZZKILL!

Kidding, of course. Nothing at all (apparently not even date night-- boo!) is happening until we are out of the old house and have a renter. I may start peeking around at other daycare options, not just to save money but also because we're not totally thrilled with their current one. Also, re: twins-- before when we were talking about it, we were planning to either go IVF (one per transfer) or IUI (one follie only). Twins again would definitely mean we couldn't swing private school till 18 (not that I'm really sure we still need to be budgeting for that, but anyway...).

[twotrue]

lol! Sorry I'm not more fun. My suggestion was to explore it, just not jump into it. And now S is going to de-friend me, huh?

[kershnic]

It seems like people who are really passionate to have another find a way to make it work financially. But my DW tells me every time it comes up that if we have twins we can't have another one... so who knows. I know we'd have a SAHM if twins, so I really can't imagine three in daycare. I'm a researcher/planner so I'd go with Ms. Buzzkill's advice above.

[quinny]

DO IT!! Gay couples have it so.damn.hard because we can't have glorious mistakes. We plan everything, it's excruciating. K is the youngest of nine. They didn't have much, at all. They all put themselves through state colleges, most with sports scholarships. Her childhood was not nearly as 'privileged' as mine, being 1 of 2 kids, but it was a lot more fun. Personally, I would much rather have more kids and send them to public school (we will go public even if we only have N) and forgo the private schools, private camps, swimming, ballet, gymnastics, tap, jazz, etc. 20 years later, anyone want to take a stab at the last time I tapped, pirouetted, back stroked, back tucked, or rode a horse? Yeah, none. But my sister is half my soul. For more of her, I would give the world.

In the end, you have to decide what is most important. If you decide you want to and can afford the childcare, don't look back. The rest will work out.

[eratmama]

Other JEAN!!!! You made me bawl tonight.

Thanks for articulating exactly why we said yes. I may need to print that and hang it on my closet door to read during the next sibling fight.

When the heart pulls--listen.

[thiswillbe]

Aug 30, 2012 13:32:19 GMT -5 quinny said:

But my sister is half my soul. For more of her, I would give the world.

Thank you for sharing this. So wonderfully put.

S and I are both from large families (I have 5 brothers), and I really appreciate having multiple siblings. I have different relationships with each of them, and am grateful to have those relationships. Having more than one sibling has also ensured I don't feel so alone if my relationship with one (or more) of them is on the rocks at any given moment.

Hmm, lots to think about.

Now if I could just remember where I put that winning lottery ticket...

[joyseattle]

I agree with and love the sentiments of lots of siblings and following your heart!