If you moved to a country where you don't speak the language

[kaybee85]

how long did it take you to feel confident? Ever? Lol.

I've been here for under 2 weeks, so I don't expect to feel comfortable yet. The first week I had straight up anxiety about having to go out alone, but that has subsided. I've memorized my "I'm sorry, I'm a dolt and don't understand" speech, which helps. I also plan to take a language course as soon as we have housing and whatnot sorted.

I guess I'm trying to manage expectations.

[aMrsin09]

I found in the Antibes/Nice/Cannes area, just about everyone spoke English, as long as I got the plesantries done in French. Once they realized I wasn't a tourist they spoke even MORE English.

I learned to read so I could go grocery shopping. The only place I had real problems, where not a single soul eve learned a word of English was the chemist. I had a friend translate my allergies and medical conditions and I kept that on a laminated card ove my ID, so EMS would HAVE to lift it to find out my name.

I would have taken language lessons, but we weren't there long enough (only 6/7 months)

[origami]

I'm not totally confident now, even after 1.5 years, but I'm not as intimidated or embarrassed like I used to be. If someone launches into a string of angry korean I still break out into a sweat. I used to think I would learn the language but that dream died quickly. Once I was honest about that I had to figure out how to get by. It took about a year to get a solid plan in place but I was not proactive about asking for help. Now that I have lived here long enough to know what to do im not as anxious.

There are some must-learn phrases I had to learn, as well as the alphabet. That didn't take long. Then I found ways to translate and that has made the biggest difference. There is the Google translate app, which is actually awful for korean, but ok in simple situations. The govt here has free translation hotlines. Those are awesome. I call those for restaurant reservations, checking if something is open, taxi directions, etc. We also have a relocation company so if I need real/ongoing help I call them up. I failed to make good use of their service for over a year. Now I text them all the time. "Hey I got a parking ticket. What do I do now?" etc. We also stopped being embarrassed about inconveniencing our korean-speaking friends and coworkers by asking for help. I felt like I was annoying them but they are friendly and want to help -- as im sure all of us would if the situation were reversed.

What I have the hardest time with now is online translation. Korean websites are not designed like western ones. Their wifi is designed for the future. Their websites are stuck in a timewarp to the 90s. Many times they don't work on Macs, Google/chrome translate is a joke, they require a non-Mac-compatible security certificate, and so on. There are some bilingual shopping sites, but they're not great, and if you need something they don't sell (or are looking for info, not goods) you may be SOL without a korean-speaking friend.

[GilliC]

I'm at 9 years, and 250 course hours. I'll let you know when I get there!

To be fair, for the last year, I have been confident enough to order my coffee in the local language. But if the barista strays beyond "Did you say a double?" and "Have a nice day!" I panic. Seriously. I just smile and laugh slightly and hope it wasn't a question. I can just imagine the things I've responded to this way.

"Do you want extra foam?"


"The lids are over there."


"I spit in your coffee, you stupid foreigner."

[kaybee85]

Lol GilliC, your gifs are perfect. I feel ok at the grocery store or little shops/cafes as long as we all stick to the script. (LOL) I legit just left/ran away from a cafe the first week because it didn't follow the plan lol.

[origami]

LOL!!!

my worst encounter so far was at a gas station. Attendants pump the gas here so I memorized "Full tank please." And they always ask "gasoline or diesel" so I have that down too. That's all I can do. But one guy went way off script. It sounded like "cgnbfdxvhjutedghjjhgdswrtuhfvnkkkgbnkklesscb" to me. I just smiled and nodded like a fool (default response). Then he gets all surprised. So I assume yes was incorrect. So then I say no. He acts even more surprised. I start to panic. What if I accidentally agreed to a weird fuel?! So I give him my phone and ask him to type in Google translate. Google says "Dad is university care." I start twitching and I know my face is making strange looks. I got out of my car to look at the fuel pump. It looks normal but he's still talking so I start looking for a stranger to help in a legit panic. He now thinks I'm insane because no one gets out of the car. I ended this by giving him my credit card and going back into the car, prepared to sign literally any bill he gave me. And bowing and saying thank you a ridiculous number of times. I would not blame him if he thinks Americans are nutcases. Im pretty sure he had asked me if I wanted free Kleenex or a free bottle of water (their special gift options if you buy a full tank).

[kaybee85]

origami amazing lol!

[origami]

The best story I heard from another person was from DH's coworker (Another US expat). He needed dental work so he went to a place near his house. No english. He managed to explain he thought he had a cavity and needed a filling. They do an exam and give him a long stream of language he doesn't understand but he nodded and smiled. They give him some laughing gas. Next thing he knows he's waking up from having all 4 of his wisdom teeth removed. He had unknowingly agreed to surgery. I died laughing hearing this story IRL.

[rupertpenny]

origami I'm impressed/surprised people will even speak to you in Korean. Here they see my white face and not only do try not speak to me in Cantonese, they kind of freak out if I try to speak to them in Cantonese.

Not that that happens really, since after 2 years including 9 months of classes I can remember about 100 words or phrases.

I think I'm kind of a worst case scenario though. First of all it is SO MUCH harder to learn a language without the visual/reading component. Or at least it is for me. Second, many people speak English and its an official language so I do t have to try that hard. And third the fact that I am visibly an outsider adds an extra barrier. It was actually a really weird experience to be in Europe last fall where people couldn't immediately tell that I didn't belong!

[rupertpenny]

@kaybee28 have you tried Duolingo? I do it for Italian just to kind of refresh what I learned in college and it's pretty good. And it's free which is nice. I actually think I'm going to switch to French soon because I want to switch B to a French immersion pre school.

[kaybee85]

Feb 23, 2016 8:47:00 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

have you tried Duolingo? I do it for Italian just to kind of refresh what I learned in college and it's pretty good. And it's free which is nice. I actually think I'm going to switch to French soon because I want to switch B to a French immersion pre school.

Yes! I do know some basics because of it. Reading signs etc isn't bad. It's just the speed of live conversation that has me freeze.

[rupertpenny]

Feb 23, 2016 8:54:07 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

Feb 23, 2016 8:47:00 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

have you tried Duolingo? I do it for Italian just to kind of refresh what I learned in college and it's pretty good. And it's free which is nice. I actually think I'm going to switch to French soon because I want to switch B to a French immersion pre school.

Yes! I do know some basics because of it. Reading signs etc isn't bad. It's just the speed of live conversation that has me freeze.

I very much understand the freezing haha. I think that should get better with time. Good luck! Or bonne chance!

[origami]

Feb 23, 2016 8:45:40 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

origami I'm impressed/surprised people will even speak to you in Korean. Here they see my white face and not only do try not speak to me in Cantonese, they kind of freak out if I try to speak to them in Cantonese.

Not that that happens really, since after 2 years including 9 months of classes I can remember about 100 words or phrases.

I think I'm kind of a worst case scenario though. First of all it is SO MUCH harder to learn a language without the visual/reading component. Or at least it is for me. Second, many people speak English and its an official language so I do t have to try that hard. And third the fact that I am visibly an outsider adds an extra barrier. It was actually a really weird experience to be in Europe last fall where people couldn't immediately tell that I didn't belong!

It's only b/c SO MANY people here can't speak English. They can read it pretty well but speaking is very difficult for them. (Speaking is not taught properly here.) They always assume I need an english menu and stuff like that but they try really hard not to say anything. Waiters give me the menu silently and wait for me to speak. Actually this is one of things that has made me feel more confident. They get just as panicky as I do about having to speak the other language. If I veer off the english script in a cafe they start rapidly blinking and getting panicked too. And they are even more embarrassed than I am about not being able to follow, which is strange to me since I'm the foreigner. If anyone should be embarrassed in this scenario it's me. But they apologize a lot for not speaking English. 

The first time I ordered in full on Korean, the person busted out laughing in my face b/c it was so unexpected to her. I wanted the earth to swallow me whole, but at least I learned that they do expect english from foreigners. 

[rupertpenny]

origami that sounds kind of awful but kind of nice at the same time. Are your boys learning any Korean? I've heard B use Chinese words or phrases a few times but not much at all. And she is supposed to be learning at school :/

[GilliC]

Oh! This reminds me that I just bought a pair of shoes the other day without switching to English:

GilliC: "Can I try both this two in 38?"
ShoeStoreLady: "Bloard pulsinet resto baglavan 38?"
GilliC: "Yes."
ShoreStoreLady scans the shoes and sets them off to the side.
GilliC stands around looking stupid.
ShoeStoreLady: "Praggaba ningloboo glargamel send up."
GilliC nods.
Assuming she's supposed to wait, but not entirely sure, she walks off to look at other shoes in case this whole 'waiting' thing doesn't pan out.
ShoeStoreLady: "38?!"
GilliC collects shoes and tries them on before returning to the counter.
GilliC: "I will bought only these one."
ShoeStoreLady rings it up, and GilliC pays.
ShoeStoreLady: "Do you want the googlyboo?"
GilliC stifles rising panic, and swallows her pride.
GilliC: "What is the googlyboo?"

ShoeStoreLady holds up the shoebox.
ShoeStoreLady: "This is a googlyboo."
GilliC: "Oh! No. Thank you."


ETA - I should probably rejoice in my having asked a question and gotten a reply without falling back on English. But still. I literally asked "What is the shoebox?" Not "What does 'shoebox' mean?" I was panicking. So I just asked "What is the shoebox?"

[origami]

Feb 23, 2016 9:29:48 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

origami that sounds kind of awful but kind of nice at the same time. Are your boys learning any Korean? I've heard B use Chinese words or phrases a few times but not much at all. And she is supposed to be learning at school :/

my kids are "learning chinese" too. they rarely talk about that class so I have no idea what goes on in it, but I have not seen much evidence of learning. The parents of the school vote each year on which foreign language we want offered. I was the only parent who voted for korean :S So my kids have not learned it at all beyond hello and thank you. And how to bow correctly, which is the cutest thing in the world.

That's awesome B has already picked up phrases!

[aMrsin09]

Feb 23, 2016 8:54:07 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

Feb 23, 2016 8:47:00 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

have you tried Duolingo? I do it for Italian just to kind of refresh what I learned in college and it's pretty good. And it's free which is nice. I actually think I'm going to switch to French soon because I want to switch B to a French immersion pre school.

Yes! I do know some basics because of it. Reading signs etc isn't bad. It's just the speed of live conversation that has me freeze.

I was even afraid to use too much.  I was afraid if I answered with more than one or two words in French, they would come back with full speed sentences.  

That was way above my pay grade.

[Shreddingbetty]

You're in France right? Check out this website www.laits.utexas.edu/fi/
It has a lot of basic grammar and is basically for beginner. I haven't actually used it really since I don't have much need for grammar and such but it looks like a pretty decent and free program.
Also check out Native french Speech and Learn French by podcast . These are both free to listen to their podcasts. It has different levels from beginning to advanced and they speak very clearly.
And word reference really rules. Not only is it a dictionary but it has a forum and you will find a lot of expressions etc on there from people asking specific ways to say things that you don't get from a dictionary alone.
Good luck! I'm sure you will start picking up things quickly. At least it is the same alphabet so that helps I would think.
there is also an app "how to say" that helps you with pronunciations (for many languages)

[kaybee85]

Feb 23, 2016 22:04:20 GMT -5 Shreddingbetty said:

You're in France right? Check out this website www.laits.utexas.edu/fi/
It has a lot of basic grammar and is basically for beginner. I haven't actually used it really since I don't have much need for grammar and such but it looks like a pretty decent and free program.
Also check out Native french Speech and Learn French by podcast . These are both free to listen to their podcasts. It has different levels from beginning to advanced and they speak very clearly.
And word reference really rules. Not only is it a dictionary but it has a forum and you will find a lot of expressions etc on there from people asking specific ways to say things that you don't get from a dictionary alone.
Good luck! I'm sure you will start picking up things quickly. At least it is the same alphabet so that helps I would think.
there is also an app "how to say" that helps you with pronunciations (for many languages)

Yes! Thank you.

[gigem]

I was also going to suggest Word Reference, they have an app and I always keep it on my phone for looking up words in a bind, and their forums are the best, they seem to always have something to help me out on any expression I can't sort out (or that I am trying to translate).

French will come fast, it is a pretty easy language, although people do tend to talk fast but try to just focus on the general idea of what they are saying or ask them to repeat. And 2 weeks is nothing! I've been in a country now for just over a year and I'm still gesturing with my hands and stumbling my way through each day. You'll pick it up quick, dont worry!

[kaybee85]

It's funny how much Ingrid plays a role in the words/phrases I know. For example, I can now easily pick up when they ask me if she is a girl or say something about her eyes - phrases that I wouldn't be familiar with if I didn't have a child.

I told Michael that she is inadvertently making me interact with many people who I wouldn't normally because I am not very outgoing, but (as in America) people always want to approach you with a baby.

[dulcemariamar]

I moved to Lux 3 years ago. I had a pretty solid basic German language knowledge, enough to ask for things and get my message across. Well, in the city it is almost impossible to find German speakers in cafes/stores. Most of them come over from France to work. So last October I finally signed up for a French course. The class is a joke but at least. I can say that I am trying to learn the language. The first two years I SAHM with my DD so I didnt have time to study it. (Okay, I had like two hours during her nap but I was too lazy)

[gigem]

Feb 24, 2016 4:51:27 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

It's funny how much Ingrid plays a role in the words/phrases I know. For example, I can now easily pick up when they ask me if she is a girl or say something about her eyes - phrases that I wouldn't be familiar with if I didn't have a child.

I told Michael that she is inadvertently making me interact with many people who I wouldn't normally because I am not very outgoing, but (as in America) people always want to approach you with a baby.

I was actually going to say something along the lines of if you run into any confusing situations just use ur cute baby to lighten the mood or sneak away haha

French shop keepers really want you to say bonjour and au revoir/bonne journee/bon apres midi/bonne soiree when you come and go, especially at the bakery, butcher, pharmacy, or in a small boutique. Especially so if they've really helped you out, thank them profusely

[G22]

Bahaha GilliC those gifs are perfectly accurate. I give what I call the "deer in the headlights" look very similar to those whenever I get spoken to in German and I have no idea what they are saying to me.

To the OP, we've been here 5 months and I know very little. I knew no German when we got here. I've learned important phrases to get by when I want to order food or pick up recycling bags. Beyond that, I'm screwed when someone says something I'm not expecting. Also funny you mentioned it, but people interact with me a lot more because of my LO whose 4 months old. It forces me to attempt to speak the language or at the very least understand what they are trying to say.

[kaybee85]

Feb 24, 2016 8:05:07 GMT -5 gigem said:

Feb 24, 2016 4:51:27 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

It's funny how much Ingrid plays a role in the words/phrases I know. For example, I can now easily pick up when they ask me if she is a girl or say something about her eyes - phrases that I wouldn't be familiar with if I didn't have a child.

I told Michael that she is inadvertently making me interact with many people who I wouldn't normally because I am not very outgoing, but (as in America) people always want to approach you with a baby.

I was actually going to say something along the lines of if you run into any confusing situations just use ur cute baby to lighten the mood or sneak away haha

French shop keepers really want you to say bonjour and au revoir/bonne journee/bon apres midi/bonne soiree when you come and go, especially at the bakery, butcher, pharmacy, or in a small boutique. Especially so if they've really helped you out, thank them profusely

I knew this before arriving - my grandmother in-law offended many a shop keeper in France (not Toulouse, but other regions) with her abrupt "combien?" without any pleasantries.

[pittpurple]

I can offer you no help but just wanted to say that I'm always so impressed with those who live in a country with another language. The Scottish accent was hard enough for me to manage (and I still make those GIF faces sometimes 10 years later...) but I can always read labels and menus and such. It must be such an interesting experience to be surrounded by mysteries all the time!

[gigem]

Feb 24, 2016 9:35:03 GMT -5 kaybee85 said:

Feb 24, 2016 8:05:07 GMT -5 gigem said:

I was actually going to say something along the lines of if you run into any confusing situations just use ur cute baby to lighten the mood or sneak away haha

French shop keepers really want you to say bonjour and au revoir/bonne journee/bon apres midi/bonne soiree when you come and go, especially at the bakery, butcher, pharmacy, or in a small boutique. Especially so if they've really helped you out, thank them profusely

I knew this before arriving - my grandmother in-law offended many a shop keeper in France (not Toulouse, but other regions) with her abrupt "combien?" without any pleasantries.

If you ever have to go to an government administrative office (social security, prefecture de police, la Mairie) make sure all your paper work has been triple checked beforehand and extra bonus points if you bring your own photocopies! That's a good way to avoid getting a French public servant scolding... although that's another right of passage! Good luck and anyways Americans are really friendly I don't think you could truly tick off a French person haha

[irish]

I always found that my fluency and understanding dramatically improved when alcohol was introduced to the mix... But then, I was childless when I lived in Lux...

[Cioccolato]

I didn't know French when I moved here. I took two years of intensive, daily French courses my 2nd year here. I feel confident now, 8 years later.

I'm sorry this probably doesn't help.