Tuesday randoms

[sweetchix]

Good morning all!

I got 3 emails from XH last night, at midnight, telling me I owe him about $600 for dental/vision coverage for DDs. He wants me to pay him, or discuss a payment plan, by tomorrow. Ummmm... No XH. You cannot expect me to just be like "ok, here's a check" without me researching this myself. Even when I send him the bill for after school care, I give him a week to pay me.

So, now I'm worried. My assumption, yes I know assuming makes an ass out of u me me, but I assumed the insurance portion of our agreement rolled all insurances into one. I remember talking about this way back when and I had even considered covering them on my dental/vision, but we decided against it for a reason I do not remember.

Anyway, I'm going to check our agreement and also email my attorney to see what he says. I'm hoping I'm correct and all coverage was rolled into one section, but I'm nervous. I always get nervous when this kind of stuff comes up. Is he right? Is he wrong? I always think I'm going to do the wrong thing. Ugh!

ETA: oh and he ended each email with "I hope that out of the goodness of your heart that would reimburse me..." Shut the fuck up with the goodness of my heart. If you had any goodness to your heart I wouldn't have had to take you to court for something that was clearly spelled out on our agreement. And out of that goodness of YOUR heart you'd pay 50% of school supplies for our DDs.

[Deleted]

Can we just kick him in the shins, sweetchix? Ugh. I hope it works out in your favor.

[sweetchix]

Mar 1, 2016 7:55:06 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

Can we just kick him in the shins, sweetchix? Ugh. I hope it works out in your favor.

Please! Even if he's right. I mean dude, at least give me a week to look into it myself to verify you're not just making shit up.

[sweetchix]

Ok, so I looked at our agreement and it just states "Health Insurance". It doesn't specify that it is only medical. The words "health insurance" would encompass ALL insurances related to their health. I even asked the benefits manager as they get a lot of court orders and she said that yes, that would include all. If they were to get a court order stating a child should be covered under an employee's health insurance, that child would be set up under medical, dental, and vision. If it were only medical, it would need to be stated as such.

I'm feeling a lot better about this, but I'm still going to tell him I need some time to research before answering his emails.

[kaneen]

The fact he asks you to do this "out of the goodness of your heart" makes me think he knows you don't actually owe him this money per your agreement. If you were obligated to pay this per your agreement, you wouldn't have to do this "out of the goodness of your heart". You'd have to do this because you'd be legally obligated.

[sweetchix]

Mar 1, 2016 9:58:33 GMT -5 kaneen said:

The fact he asks you to do this "out of the goodness of your heart" makes me think he knows you don't actually owe him this money per your agreement. If you were obligated to pay this per your agreement, you wouldn't have to do this "out of the goodness of your heart". You'd have to do this because you'd be legally obligated.

Good point. Never thought of the wording that way. I think sometimes he tries to guilt me into things by saying stuff like this.

[glitzyglow]

Why would he even need that much sweetchix ? Is he saying the money is for appointments they've already had or what?

I told myself I would reassess my dating status on March 1 to see if I want to join online dating again (I haven't used online dating apps since November). Well, here we are. I do want to join so I can at least feel like there's a possibility of meeting someone (and maybe I would), but then I think of my actual experience with it and I'm all "Meh, is it even worth it?"

It's supposed to storm here beginning around lunchtime and thunder is a possibility. The storm is bringing one last cold front before spring temperatures come to stay. Tonight I am going to go home, make dinner, and cozy up in my bed to deal with this last bout of cold, otherwise I may not survive, lol. I might watch Room, but I'm not sure I feel like crying my face off.

[sweetchix]

Mar 1, 2016 10:34:17 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

Why would he even need that much sweetchix ? Is he saying the money is for appointments they've already had or what?

He's "charging" me for half of the weekly dental and vision coverage costs since our divorce was finalized, so almost 3 years worth.

[sweetchix]

glitzyglow, I've all but given up on online dating myself. I deleted my OKC and Tinder profiles and have had my POF profile hidden for a few months now. It was always the same people or all I would get were "hi/how are you" messages. At least TRY to make it worth my time to repspond, ya know?

[glitzyglow]

Mar 1, 2016 10:58:59 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

Mar 1, 2016 10:34:17 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

Why would he even need that much sweetchix ? Is he saying the money is for appointments they've already had or what?

He's "charging" me for half of the weekly dental and vision coverage costs since our divorce was finalized, so almost 3 years worth.

Why now, I wonder, and not beginning since the divorce? I would talk to the attorney since this just popped up. Might he be short on money and is looking for ways to get cash, thus suddenly trying to implement this?

[glitzyglow]

Mar 1, 2016 11:02:08 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

glitzyglow , I've all but given up on online dating myself. I deleted my OKC and Tinder profiles and have had my POF profile hidden for a few months now. It was always the same people or all I would get were "hi/how are you" messages. At least TRY to make it worth my time to repspond, ya know?

I just downloaded Tinder and now you can upload pictures from your camera roll! OMG! I changed my FB profile pic for no reason now, lol. I just did it so I would have a good pic for Tinder if I decided to go through with it!

I get what you are saying. I figure I'll give it another shot because that's kind of relationship I have with OLD...breakup/makeup, lol.

[sweetchix]

Mar 1, 2016 11:03:51 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

Mar 1, 2016 10:58:59 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

He's "charging" me for half of the weekly dental and vision coverage costs since our divorce was finalized, so almost 3 years worth.

Why now, I wonder, and not beginning since the divorce? I would talk to the attorney since this just popped up. Might he be short on money and is looking for ways to get cash, thus suddenly trying to implement this?

It is possible. I think he only just "realized" this because his insurance renews March 1st so he was probably looking it all over and came to this "conclusion".

Our property agreement states: "The children of the parties are presently covered by the Husband's Health Insurance and will continue to be covered by the same so long as it is available and so long as either party has an obligation for child support, at his sole cost and expense, as long as the differential between his Individual and Family Coverage, as it presently exists does not increase more than 5%."

If it was only specific to Medical, then it should be specifically spelled out. I know someone who does have it spelled out specifically who covers each type of insurance. Our does not.

ETA: oh and I did email my attorney to be sure that I am understanding this correctly before I repspond to XH.

[sweetchix]

Sorry to make the randoms thread all about me and this insurance issue, but I just heard back from my attorney and he said he agrees with me 100%. Now I just need to work up a response back to XH.

[jigsy]

I made an appointment for therapy on Monday. My feelings have been fluctuating between feeling really good, then dropping down to where I can't sleep or eat. It just isn't how I like to feel and I think maybe I need to talk to someone about it.

It will be with a new person, so I hope we click ok...but if not, at least it is a first step.

[Deleted]

To continue with my being awesome plan, in updating my look. I have to take out the pink of my hair (whomp whomp) because of some client meetings coming up in DC. So I've decided to cut off a lot of my hair. I love my long hair, but I think I feel more me with a shorter and sassy style. I'm pretty excited about this!

[Deleted]

sweetchix, good lord that sucks. My sister took out dental insurance on her kid (agreement says dad carries kids and pays 50% med costs) to get braces since his insurance didn't cover braces. Her X clearly doesn't know how insurance works because he threw a fit and was all "You should have used my insurance for this". yah dude. she saved you a few thousand by getting better dental that had coverage. chill. Did he not attach actual bills to the email?

I can't be bothered with online dating. I'm like super irritated with SO due to his job. I feel bad because there is like one or two options he can do to fix it. He doesn't even express that he's sorry that this is happening or even see my irritation. So lack of empathy. I couldn't even message him back this am because I was sooo hot. I was in tears because I was so effing mad.

[alleinesein]

Mar 1, 2016 11:02:08 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

glitzyglow , I've all but given up on online dating myself. I deleted my OKC and Tinder profiles and have had my POF profile hidden for a few months now. It was always the same people or all I would get were "hi/how are you" messages. At least TRY to make it worth my time to repspond, ya know?

Those types of messages would be a nice change from the ones I get.  In the past month I've had one guy message me asking if I liked anal, at least 5 guys calling me beautiful and then asking if I was interested in having sex and a few random insulting ones.  

[Deleted]

Mar 1, 2016 16:03:36 GMT -5 alleinesein said:

Mar 1, 2016 11:02:08 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

glitzyglow , I've all but given up on online dating myself. I deleted my OKC and Tinder profiles and have had my POF profile hidden for a few months now. It was always the same people or all I would get were "hi/how are you" messages. At least TRY to make it worth my time to repspond, ya know?

Those types of messages would be a nice change from the ones I get.  In the past month I've had one guy message me asking if I liked anal, at least 5 guys calling me beautiful and then asking if I was interested in having sex and a few random insulting ones.  

"Absolutely. I just love pegging guys! Do you have a strap-on we can use or should I bring mine?"

Bag of dicks... 

[baa1981]

I just realized I didn't cancel my Audible membership after the free 30 day trial. I have 3 credits. What are some recommendations? When I listen to books I prefer nonfiction.

[Deleted]

Mar 1, 2016 18:56:31 GMT -5 baa1981 said:

I just realized I didn't cancel my Audible membership after the free 30 day trial. I have 3 credits. What are some recommendations? When I listen to books I prefer nonfiction.

I loved Amy Poehlers book, Rachel Dratch's, and Rob Lowe's! Mindy Kahling books are awesome too, but I've read those. I bet the Chelsea handler ones are fun too. 

[pandora]

I am so close to deactivating FB with the political postings. I am so stabby over who just won by a landslide in my state and it truly scares the life out of me for the future of this country that such a high percentage voted that way. I am scared for my baby's future.

I am so angry and sad and I don't think it can be blamed on hormones this time. :/