Would you let your kid go to a house with gun(s)?

[1yeartogo]

My son is in K he and a classmate have been asking to do a play date (I was asked every day this week). I do not know the parents. I reached out and invited the boy but his mom responded that he is shy and wants the play date at their house. I followed up and asked about guns in the home. No one has ever said yes before..until now. They have guns for hunting which she stated are locked away and taken apart.

Should I let him go?? I would be trusting a family I don't know and I would not be there (drop off). Not sure how to best deal with this. I don't want to interfere with friendship since we only moved here this summer and my son only has a few friends.

[hermione]

Yes, if I believed the guns are locked away safely, this would not bother me. If I did not believe that, i would decline the invitation.

[polarbearfans]

Growing up with a dad that hunted, I would say yes. He took gun safety very seriously and I learned from an early age that guns were not toys.

[usuallylurking]

Yes. Particularly because they were honest and declared them to you when you asked. I'm sure they'd show you where/how they're secured if you asked.

[soozy87]

Yes, I would let him go. Sounds like the guns are properly cared for and put away with kids in mind.

[bugandbibs]

I would ask to see the set up and if I approved then I would let the play date happen. I would try and do this before the play date was arranged. If it didn't meet my standards, I would decline.

You could continue to offer to host or meet someplace neutral like a park or play place.

[amaranth]

I also would allow it if the mom seemed honest. My dad was a hunter and the guns were legit taken apart and locked up. I know this isn't always the case, but it doesn't sound far-fetched to believe.

[Deleted]

My kids live in a house with guns so this would not bother me, especially as she stated they are stored properly. Most of my kids' friends parents also have guns and more people than I would ever have expected have them.

If you haven't already you should be discussing age appropriate gun safety with him on a regular basis. We use the Eddie eagle videos from forever with my kids.

[tealblue]

I would. She was honest and said they are disassembled and locked away.

We have guns in my house (no my ideal situation) but DH likes to shoot and hunt. They are safely stored and locked and in the future we are building a locked room with a large gun safe. There are a lot of hunters and recreational shooters here so odds are people have guns.

[VillainV]

Yes, if they are locked up, kept separate from ammo, then I would. And it sounds like they are storing the guns disassembled, which is even safer. I think it's great that the mom was honest, and it sounds like they practice gun safety.

I agree with talking to your kid about guns in an age-appropriate way. I'm sure someone can recommend a book or something? But basically, if he sees a gun, he shouldn't ever touch it, and should run away and tell an adult.

[formerlyak]

Honestly, I wouldn't even think to ask, but maybe it's regional? I don't have a lot of friends who hunt in this area, so it wouldn't dawn on me to ask about guns.

In Kinder, we actually did a lot of playdates with parents present because everyone was new to the school and making new friends. Maybe you could say, "Since we are new to the area, I am trying to get to know some of the other parents at school. If I bring coffee, do you want to chat for a bit while the kids play?" In kinder and first, this was very normal for my circle.

[SallySparrow]

Yes.

I will say, as someone with guns in the house, it would not bother me at all if a parent asked to see where/how we store them. So if that would make you more comfortable, I might suggest that.

[Deleted]

Yes. But I live in an area where more common for people to have them than not.

[tootsie]

Yes.

[Gato]

Since they are locked away and taken apart, I would not object.

In general, when DD1 was 5 I always went with her on first play dates at a new house, just to make sure I trusted the parents.

[sunshineandpinot]

yes

[mlvmd]

Mar 4, 2016 14:50:51 GMT -5 SallySparrow said:

Yes.

I will say, as someone with guns in the house, it would not bother me at all if a parent asked to see where/how we store them. So if that would make you more comfortable, I might suggest that.

Ditto. We don't have a choice about having a weapon in our house (other than changing jobs) and I would be more than happy to show people how we store it.

[kershnic]

The idea makes me sick, but guns are really really common even in places you wouldn't expect. My sister's husband has several in liberal utopia new england. A safe locked set up is 1000% times better than people who have guns and you're not aware and don't treat them properly.

[aspentosh]

With her responses, yes.

[Susie]

I think it would be a big fear- rather than logic-based overreaction to not let your kid go to someone's house solely because there are guns located on the property. Asking questions, and even asking to see how they're secured is fine with me and totally responsible parenting though, if you don't know the parents.

We have guns in our house:  Two unloaded shotguns in a safe in the basement; and an unloaded pistol in a safe on the 2nd floor.  Pistol ammo in the shotgun safe, shotgun ammo in the pistol safe.  In the future I would be more than happy to show (or have Calvin show, since they're his and I don't touch them) a parent of one of Hobbes' friends how they're secured.  But I'd give a raised eyebrow to a parent who just flatly said they wouldn't allow their kid in our house because of them, especially if they didn't offer a constructive comment like "I'd feel ok about it if you did X____ to make it more secure."  If there was something we should be doing and aren't that another parent could point out to us, I'd be glad to receive that suggestion.

[AmyRI]

Absolutely. I'd thank her for her honest answer and pick a date/time.

I don't mind that guns are in the home so long as they are locked up appropriately. Her response was direct and detailed and unless you have a reason to believe she's lying, I would trust her.

[Alyssa]

I would trust her.

We have guns in our home and they are also locked in large gun safe in our closet.  I would be completely honest if any parent asked me about guns in our home.  I'm actually a little shocked by some parents who do know that my husband shoots targets and reloads ammo but they don't inquire about how or where the guns are stored.

[Poppy]

Ugggghhh I'm dreading this. My SIL with kids 3&5 yrs older than my son has guns in her home. I mention the kids' ages bc that makes me more nervous. One of my best friends has guns but no kids (yet). I feel a little better about that situation because older kids can be instigators and could potentially know how to access the guns.

I vividly remember the flight for life helicopter landing on my childhood street. One of the kids on my block ultimately died after being struck when he and some other kids were shooting cans in the other kids' backyard. I know it sounds implausible, but I think it was actually a BB gun? (I was younger, like 5 at the time so the details are fuzzy.) Anyway, it has really stuck with me, and suffice it to say that I am very cautious about this. I'd probably decline, TBH.

[linz]

Yes. We have guns in our house but they're locked and people probably don't know where. 

[turtlegirl]

Yes. We have guns in the house (not my ideal situation, but DH is former military and there is no talking him out of it).

But they are all unloaded have locks in the guns themselves and are in a gun sage that is in our garage, so not where kids would be playing.

[sunshine608]

The gun thing doesn't bother me, but I if I don't know the family well than I will stay during the play-date or make other arrangements.

[sookie]

Well we have guns, so yes assuming they're locked up properly and the keys for the safe are inaccessible to the children.

[jessnpaul]

Nope. Too many crazy stories nowadays!

[anna7602]

I usually only do drop-off play dates with people whose homes I've already spent some time in (unless it's a birthday party). In this case, I would probably want to stay for a little while, or insist on mom & child coming over together to my place so I could feel more comfortable with the mom (ie, trust that she's telling me the truth, seems like a reasonable person, etc.). 

[1yeartogo]

Thanks for the feedback. I agree I was responding emotionally and if the guns are truly locked away and disassembled there should be no issue. I plan to let him attend but I did have a referesher talk with him about what to do if he ever saw a gun.

I ALWAYS ask about guns after my nephew had a gun pointed at him at and 8 year olds birthday party. Thank god it was unloaded because the kids had found it and clicked the hammer.