Lies to tell at my ten year college reunion

[Deleted]

My ten year college reunion is coming up in three weeks. Since my five year reunion I have gotten fat, have no exciting career news and no human children. I did get married so that's a plus.

So......reinvent me please. I told my husband he should tell people he's an astronaut but apparently you have to be 5'3"? We need fake identities not easily googleable.

[meatywienert]

You do lots of charity work, like Brad and Angelina style. You don't believe in acummulating wealth because of all the pain and suffering you have seen in the world.

[Glitter Tits]

You have to be 5'3" to be an astronaut?! I doubt that anyone else would know that. Reinventing yourself sounds like fun. Is there one particular person that you want to show-up at the reunion. I would think of something that would get under that particular person's skin.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 10:55:37 GMT -5 Glitter Tits said:

You have to be 5'3" to be an astronaut?! I doubt that anyone else would know that. Reinventing yourself sounds like fun. Is there one particular person that you want to show-up at the reunion. I would think of something that would get under that particular person's skin.

Yes! My old roommate. This post was actually prompted by an email from her this morning. Apparently she is in charge of the reunion and leading a workshop about buying fine works of art. She's probably like a zillionaire. I hate her. She slept with my crush.

[Glitter Tits]

That bitch! There is always that one person that you want to impress. I would think about all of the things that you know she aspires to be, particularly ones that she fails miserably at, and make that what you do and excel at. (I just had to Google "excel" because I thought that I might have gotten it confused with the Microsoft Office spelling.)

[cantalopes]

May 17, 2012 10:57:12 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

May 17, 2012 10:55:37 GMT -5 Glitter Tits said:

You have to be 5'3" to be an astronaut?! I doubt that anyone else would know that. Reinventing yourself sounds like fun. Is there one particular person that you want to show-up at the reunion. I would think of something that would get under that particular person's skin.

Yes! My old roommate. This post was actually prompted by an email from her this morning. Apparently she is in charge of the reunion and leading a workshop about buying fine works of art. She's probably like a zillionaire. I hate her. She slept with my crush.

I would definitly go the "intentional poverty/charity worker" route then. There are so many starving children with no medical care, real beauty to you is donating money to help them, not some abstract painting of a flower!

[housegeek]

You invented a special kind of glue used on post it's.

[Deleted]

You definitely have to claim something abstract. And research specifics. People stop questioning if you give specific details.

[Deleted]

Yeah I gotta think of something really rare. The problem is I went to school with a lot of successful people so if I say I am digging irrigation trenches in Uganda someone will likely be all "oh me too" and start speaking Swaheeli to me.

[MrsAxilla]

May 17, 2012 11:03:01 GMT -5 housegeek said:

You invented a special kind of glue used on post it's.

Haha!

What about super secret government work? You (or your DH) work for the Department of Defense and really can't say much more than that. You do spend a lot of time in the middle east, though.....

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 11:17:24 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

May 17, 2012 11:03:01 GMT -5 housegeek said:

You invented a special kind of glue used on post it's.

Haha!

What about super secret government work? You (or your DH) work for the Department of Defense and really can't say much more than that. You do spend a lot of time in the middle east, though.....

This is actually a good one.

[Deleted]

Hmmm ok I like the secret agent angle. I also may own a large yacht.

[cantalopes]

May 17, 2012 11:17:24 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

May 17, 2012 11:03:01 GMT -5 housegeek said:

You invented a special kind of glue used on post it's.

Haha!

What about super secret government work? You (or your DH) work for the Department of Defense and really can't say much more than that. You do spend a lot of time in the middle east, though.....

I'd be careful with this. If there are other government employees they will probably start throwing out acronyms and you'll get caught.