Can I vent here? BFing related.

[Ashley&Scott]

Zombie hugs.

I would be pissed if anyone suggested to me that I needed to supplement just because my baby fussed. Babies fuss it's just what they do.

I would have corrected her about MIL right then & there. I also would have added something like, "Mom DS is growing steadily & his pedi is very happy with his growth. I will not be supplementing do not bring it up again."

Why do you think she'll give him formula? Will she be babysitting?

[pugz]

"the doctor is not concerned", repeat ad nauseum

I'd ignore her calls for awhile

[karinothing]

Umm, that would really make me annoyed. And I would feel the same way you do if someone fed my kid formula without my permission.

Re: The crying when wet thing. I think Hannah had a similar issue. Maybe she found a solution? Not sure if you are using disposibles or cloth, but I know that with cloth we found an added fleece liner cuts down on wetness. Maybe you could add a fleece liner in a disposible to? I really have no clue.

[karinothing]

OH! And maybe you can get a note from your pedi talking about how your kid doesn't need formula? I know that has worked for a few on the bump when faced with similar comments.

[Deleted]

"I can't talk to you about this when I feel that you are undermining my efforts to BF. The doctor is not concerned."

[karinothing]

May 17, 2012 11:16:30 GMT -5 @246baje said:

May 17, 2012 11:10:32 GMT -5 karinothing said:

OH! And maybe you can get a note from your pedi talking about how your kid doesn't need formula? I know that has worked for a few on the bump when faced with similar comments.

I doubt this would work she told me "the doctors don't know everything. "

My response would be "well either do you"

[doctorsbaby]

My DD was the same way, a wet diaper was the end of the world! A few times I couldn't even tell it was wet from the outside, I would just change it to see if she calmed down. I would normally find an itty bitty spot of pee once I took it off. If you heard her cry when she was hungry, you would have thought that I starved her. She went from happy baby to full on screaming to eat in about 30 seconds. She was steadily gaining a 1/2 lb a week & doubled her birth weight by 12 weeks, do she was getting plenty of bm.

[bunch]

I'm really irritated for you.

[barefootcontessa]

I would just ignore her. It is very common to have a hard time to adjusting to life outside the womb. He is now feeling hunger and gas pain, and the sensation of being wet -- all new things. My first son was like yours and my MIL was convinced something was terribly wrong, because none of her kids (all two of them!) never acted like that. If you really think she will give him formula I would not leave the baby with her.

[Deleted]

Like bnchanums, I'm irritated for you. She's being incredibly rude. Clearly, if your DS is a big boy then he's getting enough to eat!!! The "he's big so you need to supplement" arugument makes absolutely *no sense*. Babies fuss, that's what they do. Fussing at a wet diaper is not exactly uncommon, KWIM? It sounds like you have the situation under control, good for you for sticking to your guns.

[Deleted]

My mom had a habit of trying to snatch DS out of my arms any time he cried in the beginning. I really had to get nasty with her before she started listening to me.

Grandparents have just as hard a time adjusting to a new baby. They still view us as their kids and that we don't know as much. It pisses me off to no end but stick to your guns and repeat what you want. Also, flat out tell them that if they continue to not listen to you then they will not be able to have unsupervised time with the grandchild.

DS is almost 11mos old and I still have to remind the grandparents every now and then about what we want. FTR, all grandparents live a plane ride away and they seem to lose their minds any time they see DS.

[auberge]

I would be super annoyed as well. My in laws make fun of the fact that we buy organic for our son. According to them, we are wasting our money. My response "well its a good thing its our money". And then I try to make a joke "Is this cookie organic?"

[vanillacourage]

So big baby = needs formula? That makes literally no sense.

Hang in there, BFing is awesome if it works out for you/your family.

ETA- have you read Happiest Baby on the Block? He has a theory about the "fourth trimester" that makes a lot of sense to me as an explanation for fussiness.

[Ashley&Scott]

OMG. Does she act like this in other areas of your life or just the grandkids food?

[karinothing]

Umm, your mom sounds like she likes to lay down the guilt trips.

[trissie18]

I am sorry that you are having to deal with comments like that.

My MIL asked me when DS#1 was 3 months old if the dr had cleared him to have formula yet and the daycare director told me I wasn't feeding him enough because her kids came out of the hospital drinking 4 oz bottles.

I don't have any real advice other than to stand your ground and let your mother know in a nice way that the comments are unwarranted and unwanted. Your doctor has assured you that your DS is getting all that he needs.

[cinco]

Ugh. Sorry. I'm breastfeeding my 3rd child, and I still get comments about my hungry baby from my mom. She is in the 75 percentile, and a chubby thing, but my mom
still always says she needs formula. DH and I laugh about it b/c it is so predictable. My baby cries because she is a damn baby. They cry! I think when we were babies the formula companies must of done some serious brain washing, b/c my mom is still on that train.

[Ashley&Scott]

Good for you for standing up to her about your son. I would stand up to her in the other areas too. The passive aggressiveness would piss me off too.

And I agree with kari, from the looks of the rest of her email she really likes to lay on the guilt trips. Don't fall for them.

[Willis Jackson]

May 17, 2012 11:04:48 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Thanks ladies.

I did set her right about MIL immediately.

I called her back because it was bugging me so much and asked her to respect my decision to BF. she of course burst into tears a d said I am too touchy.

Mum won't be babysitting often as she lives in my home country. We will be visiting there later this summer and I'd love to leave him with both grandparents as I know they love spending time with their grandkids and taking care of them.

I fear her giving him formula against my wishes because she gave and still gives my nephew food items that my sister has vetoed or said he is allergic to.

Right. You're the one who's touchy when she's the one who bursts into tears when you ask her to respect your parenting decisions.

Honestly, I wouldn't let her babysit. She's giving your nephew food when she's been told he's allergic to it? This woman is dangerous.

[pugz]

sheesh, sorry she is so difficult.

[Ashley&Scott]

May 17, 2012 15:08:35 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

May 17, 2012 11:04:48 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Thanks ladies.

I did set her right about MIL immediately.

I called her back because it was bugging me so much and asked her to respect my decision to BF. she of course burst into tears a d said I am too touchy.

Mum won't be babysitting often as she lives in my home country. We will be visiting there later this summer and I'd love to leave him with both grandparents as I know they love spending time with their grandkids and taking care of them.

I fear her giving him formula against my wishes because she gave and still gives my nephew food items that my sister has vetoed or said he is allergic to.

Right. You're the one who's touchy when she's the one who bursts into tears when you ask her to respect your parenting decisions.

Honestly, I wouldn't let her babysit. She's giving your nephew food when she's been told he's allergic to it? This woman is dangerous.

I totally agree, I wouldn't let her babysit either.

[bunch]

Grrrrrr. Your mom needs a kick the pants.
Grumbletalkyourmilimtoffmyassgrumble

[Ashley&Scott]

May 17, 2012 20:18:45 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Thanks ladies.

I responded to the email and simply said " Please don't mistake my request for respect with a lack of love."

My MIL spoke to my H this evening while I was out. She said my Mum called her yesterday and told her to try to talk to us about giving LO formula. MIL told her that FF or BFing was our decision.

Yay MIL. I love that woman.

Now I'm really pissed for you. Yay for your MIL.

[pugz]

wow, I can't believe your mom called MIL up. my SIL's mom did the same thing when she thought my SIL was patting the baby's back too hard when burping him!!!