is there a boss in your house?

[sarack]

is there one person in your house who makes more decisions? is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean? is there one person in your house who does the finances? is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking? is there one person who delegates most takes?

am i way off? i'm the one who has to make sure the cars get oil changes and regular maintanence, if the house isn't clean i delegate.. i pay the bills. i just wonder if i'm alone. feeling kinda stressed with everything, but h is so layed back about it that i feel like it doesn't bother him if things are just so.

[jennlin]

we make any medium and larger decisions together. we can easily convince the other, if we truly believe in it. he makes sure the house is clean more than i, but i'm working on that, i need to prove myself as a SAHM. he does more of the finances, but he wants me to be more involved in it. i do all the grocery shopping and cooking. and as for delegating tasks, we don't, unless we need help. he does 100% of car maintenance.

i don't think you're alone, but h and i do not have a "head of household".

[madDawg228]

is there one person in your house who makes more decisions?
I think I do, but I try to involve H as much as possible, he doesn't like to make decisions.

is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean?
That's mainly my job, all I ask is for H to clean up after himself (he really messy), but he usually doesn't

is there one person in your house who does the finances?
H is in charge of making sure rent and insurance are paid, and I do everything else.

is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking?
We split grocery shopping, and H does 90% of the cooking.

is there one person who delegates most tasks?
Me, I'm the Type A one in the relationship

am i way off? i'm the one who has to make sure the cars get oil changes and regular maintanence, if the house isn't clean i delegate.. i pay the bills. i just wonder if i'm alone. feeling kinda stressed with everything, but h is so layed back about it that i feel like it doesn't bother him if things are just so.

I think it's pretty common for relationships to have A (does most) and B (does less) types.

[larzhope]

May 17, 2012 10:59:30 GMT -5 sarack said:

is there one person in your house who makes more decisions? not really - we tend to discuss everything, which is annoying sometimes!

is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean? mostly me and the housekeeper!

is there one person in your house who does the finances? H mostly does this

is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking? We do this together most of the time

is there one person who delegates most takes? no

[FrozenSunshine]

is there one person in your house who makes more decisions? No.

is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean? Not really. DH does the dishes about every 2 days which drives me insane, but not enough to do them. Our deal was whoever cooked, the other cleaned. I do 99.9% of the laundry. I hired a housekeeper to do the rest.

is there one person in your house who does the finances? No. Everything is on auto pay and takes care of itself.

is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking? We shop together every weekend. DH cooks one meal a week, I cook the rest.

is there one person who delegates most takes? I don't think so, we make a good team.

[georgeharrison]

Disclaimer: we are a really "old school" household.

is there one person in your house who makes more decisions? I would say we talk every decision through. A lot are mine, but I won't act without getting the okay from James. Honestly, we've never had a major disagreement about a decision.

is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean? ME! I am the only one. I am a SAHM, so for the most part I don't mind, but sometimes I do feel like they totally take it for granted and then just leave messes everywhere.

is there one person in your house who does the finances? I do the actual work. Any financial plans, we discuss even just simple things like if his check is a couple hundred bucks more what the plan would be with that.

is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking? ME! Again, the SAHM thing. James enjoys cooking and will on occasion, but we eat early so I usually have dinner ready when he gets home from work.


is there one person who delegates most takes? I wouldn't say there's much delegation in our household. James works and I do pretty much everything at home unless I'm physically incapable or it's something that he could do in 5 minutes that would take me an hour (like I cannot hang wall pictures straight).

[tacocat]

We always talk about expenses that are out of the ordinary with each other. DH organizes the bills and I pay them.
I used to do 98% of the cleaning but I just can't now do he has picked up a lot of slack. I usually do the yard work and any repairs projects around the house though.
We aren't able to eat dinner together right now so we both just take care of our own meals, and both shop

[picksthemusic]

May 17, 2012 15:46:00 GMT -5 @legalbritt said:

Dh is the boss for sure.

I'm extremely laid back about almost everything and DH has very definite ideas about what he wants so he makes most of the decisions and that's okay with me. He works with our financial advisor to make sure we are on track for saving for retirement. He just tells me how much to put into my 401k and how much we need to save, etc. He created the budget that we both adhere to. He's a CPA though so it wouldn't make sense for me to do any of that since that's his area of expertise.

He also usually comes up with "life plans." Like he has an excell spreadsheet mapping out our vacations for the next 10 years. I have input...like I want to go to Maryland for Christmas 2013 and he put that in the spreadsheet. He is the one who pressed the issue of trying to get pregnant when we did. He's the one who finally pulled the trigger on buying a house when we did.

He's also pretty opinionated about how the house is and what it looks like but we generally have the same taste. We have our own chores that we always do but he's also good about doing what needs to be done. Like if the carpet needs to be cleaned he just does it without me asking him. We share yardwork because we both like doing it.

I wouldn't say that he's a "control freak" but he definitely likes to be in control and he does not do well with deviations from a set plan. I'm the opposite--I'm very flexible. I'm like...whatever, we'll still have fun, it will all work out. I'm more type B I guess. We compliment eachother's personalities in that way. I keep him grounded and he keeps me focused

When I have a strong opinion about something that differs from him we will argue about it though and we usually come to a compromise or he will agree to what I want because I am so rarely demanding.

Wow, we are in the same marriage. LOL And it sounds like we're in the same roles, too, which is super funny.

[picksthemusic]

Right? But you know what else is funny? We both have artistic DHs, too. J is super artsy-fartsy (he even went to school for graphic design) and still sketches and draws and makes fun cards for holidays and stuff.

[Deleted]

Is there one person in your house who makes more decisions? I don't think so. Major ones are together, other things are based on if one person cares and the other doesn't so much (ie him with the electronics, me with the decor).

is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean? No, and it's a major problem. Our house is always a mess! I know we should save the money, but I'd kind of like to see how much getting a housekeeper in once a month would cost (to do the deep cleaning of the bathroom, all the floors, etc). H is MUCH better than me at cleaning.

is there one person in your house who does the finances? H takes care of our joint stuff. We sit together and review our situation about twice a year. We each pay for our separate stuff.

is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking? It's pretty even

is there one person who delegates most takes? Me. There are things I want done but am not strong enough or whatever, so I request H to do them. He rarely gives me tasks he wants done

am i way off? i'm the one who has to make sure the cars get oil changes and regular maintanence, if the house isn't clean i delegate.. i pay the bills. i just wonder if i'm alone. feeling kinda stressed with everything, but h is so layed back about it that i feel like it doesn't bother him if things are just so. I think in most relationships there is a more dominant person. Often it's a matter of priorities, too, who considers certain things more important.

[picksthemusic]

May 17, 2012 16:18:50 GMT -5 @legalbritt said:

That IS really funny. You know, although I married and Irishman he always jokes that he's really a latino deep inside....except that he's a terrible dancer.

Um. Well. I guess our husbands are brothers from another mother, because my DH can't dance either. It was kind of torture to watch at our wedding and at my BFFs wedding. OY. I mean, he has rhythm (kind of), but can't dance to save his life. Poor thing.

[Deleted]

I do all the household stuff... Mainly because I'm just.. home a lot more than he is and I'm anal about making sure sht gets done.
We both do stuff like oil changes and grocery shopping (we LOVE shopping together). He deals with the finances when he's around, I deal with them when he's away. It's just easier to have one person doing it because we have an exel sheet that we log every. single. receipt into. It would be too difficult to pass that back and forth via e-mail so that we can deal with our own. Much easier to just have one of us... But we still run everything by each other like bils, investments, etc.
I think H and I would both agree that ultimately I'm the boss of the house because I'm here more and am more aware of what needs to be done, what's done, etc.

I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed with stuff :/

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 10:59:30 GMT -5 sarack said:

is there one person in your house who makes more decisions? no, its pretty even

is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean? Im the one that initiates picking up

is there one person in your house who does the finances? 100% me

is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking? Uhm... Me again

is there one person who delegates most takes? And me again

am i way off? i'm the one who has to make sure the cars get oil changes and regular maintanence, if the house isn't clean i delegate.. i pay the bills. i just wonder if i'm alone. feeling kinda stressed with everything, but h is so layed back about it that i feel like it doesn't bother him if things are just so.

I think I take on these responsibilities because I'm more particular about things than h is.

[Deleted]

is there one person in your house who makes more decisions? nope
is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean? Nope, we both equally tackle the cleaning.
is there one person in your house who does the finances? H definitely does more of the finances. He is much better at keeping it organized and know how much is where and what bills need to be paid one
is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking? Again we both pretty much do this equally. There are things that we eat that I won't cook or he is better at cooking and vice versa. And we both put the list together and go together most of the time when grocery shopping.
is there one person who delegates most takes? Nope

[emyinpink]

is there one person in your house who makes more decisions? I'd say it's probably 50/50. we tend to work through most decisions together.

is there one person in your house who makes sure the house is clean? I'm definitely the one who makes sure the house is clean, and do almost all of the cleaning. I also do all of the laundry.

is there one person in your house who does the finances? DH handles our investments since he finds it interesting. I usually pay our day-to-day bills. we did a budget together.

is there one person in your house who takes care of grocery shopping/cooking? we usually go to the store together, but he does all of the cooking (unless I make myself breakfast on the weekdays).

is there one person who delegates most tasks? not really, it's pretty equal.

am i way off? I don't think you're way off, and I'd definitely be frustrated if I were you.