My 5 year old asked me what cock meant....

[Melissa W.]

Three things:
1. I am glad DH was driving.
2. I am glad she couldn't see my face or see me silent laugh with tears rolling down my face.
3. She wanted to know why it was called a cockroach? What does "cock" mean?

[ringstrue]

omg

what was the explanation?

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 11:08:56 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

"It's another name for a rooster. Stop asking so many goddamn questions."

that's what I would have said :-)

[doxies]

The rooster is a good one - I'm never that quick on my feet.

My DS asked the other day in a public restroom what a tampon was (there was a dispenser on the wall). I said something ladies sometimes need. I couldn't think of any way to explain it at a very high level without opening up some cans of worms.

[iammalcolmx]

May 17, 2012 11:08:56 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

"It's another name for a rooster. Stop asking so many goddamn questions."

Nothing makes me happier than a message board where we can all curse freely. I almost choked on my damn salad.

[Melissa W.]

Dh did the question with a question>

"Why do you ask?"

Lol. Then she asked about cockroaches etc. Eqwww.

I just silently laughed.

[heightsyankee]

Ha!

Last year, when he was 4, my older son was in a public restroom with me. He looked very quizzically at me while I was peeing (hovering bc the seat was not clean) and said "Mommy, why do you pee out your butt?"

Me- Tru, I'm not peeing out my butt.

Truitt- Well, you're not using your penis!!

Me- No, I certainly am not.

[ChillyMcFreeze]

I was so sure this was MW before I checked.

[ttt]

May 17, 2012 11:27:58 GMT -5 heightsyankee said:

Ha!

Last year, when he was 4, my older son was in a public restroom with me. He looked very quizzically at me while I was peeing (hovering bc the seat was not clean) and said "Mommy, why do you pee out your butt?"

Me- Tru, I'm not peeing out my butt.

Truitt- Well, you're not using your penis!!

Me- No, I certainly am not.

I am crying!!!

[SallyJ]

This thread is so funny.

Another funny story...my DS is not circumcised and his foreskin has retracted. He repeatedly insists that his penis has an owie because it's red on the inside. He has showed our friends' daughter his 'owie'. We have told him several times, that's just what the inside looks like, that it's supposed to be red and that he can't be showing his friends his penis.

[Deleted]

I am laughing so hard that the baby (sleeping on my chest) is waking, wanting to be fed.
Damn you all.

[brookles]

I love these threads about silly things children say. Post more, child-havers!

[iammalcolmx]

May 17, 2012 11:32:40 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

One of my friends has a son and he came out of the bathroom, holding his penis up and said, "Mom, what are these balls under my penis called again?"

I died. I couldnt help it. She told him they were testicles and he was all, "oh, okay". And he went back in, put his pants on and continued to play.

LOL!!!!

[heightsyankee]

Ha! Love the boobs ;D

My 5 year old is super in to Star Wars, even though he hasn't seen the movies. I did buy him some of the beginning reader books based on the movies and both boys are obsessed. Anyway, someone at school told him about where Vader cuts off Luke's hand and then the medical droids make Luke a new hand. So, Truitt insists it is a new human hand and I say "no it's a robot hand" and he doesn't believe that it can be done with robot parts. Luckily for me, one of my good friends is a professor of mechanical engineering whose grad students actually make robotic prothesis. So, we went to their house for dinner and I told my friend the story and she showed Truitt a video of a robot leg she made for her thesis.

So, we're at the dinner table and Truitt says "Mommy, if you need a robot part, we can make one for you."

I say, "OK."

And then he says, at the dinner table "Why don't you take your circles off and we'll make you a robot part."

"Circles? What do you mean circles?"

And he says "these here" and takes his hands and makes a round motion on his chest. So, yeah, in front of my friend, her sons, her husband, and her neighbors, he told me he wants to make me robot boobs.

[brookles]

P&CE kids are too much!

And heightsyankee, your son sounds HILARIOUS.

[meshaliuknits]

I want robo-boobs!

When I pick BabyLiu up from daycare, everyday she comes running over, puts her arms in the air and yells "BABY!" Other people get to be mama. I'm Baby.

[basilosaurus]

[basilosaurus]

When googling for the previous image, this creepy shit came up.

[meshaliuknits]

Is that a giant headed robo-baby? Creeeeeepy.

[dev22]

May 17, 2012 13:51:36 GMT -5 basilosaurus said:

When googling for the previous image, this creepy shit came up.

THis is the stuff nightmares are made of.

Also, this thread has me LMAO.

[heightsyankee]

holy fucking hell. i'll never sleep again. you can't unsee this stuff people!! think about that before you post it here

So, just this very afternoon we swung by Target to pick up an Rx and the boys were walking instead of in the cart. They found a stack of musical greeting cards and of course Truitt picks up the one that says "Who are the sexiest animals on the farm?" and when you open it it sings "brown chicken brown cow" and has a chicken in a bra and panties and a cow in boxers. So I snatch it away and put it back in the rack, but guess what? That doesn't stop Truitt from screaming "brown chicken brown cow" all the way to the pharmacy and back to the car.

[statlerwaldorf]

I love this thread. Lol

[wawa]

Please, more! I love little kid stories like this.

[MixedBerryJam]

My now-14 yo so wore me down with the "Why is the sky blue", "why are circles round?", "Who invented steps?" questions that one day, out of sheer desperation, when he asked me, "Why do they call them 'cars'?" I answered, "Because they make them in car factories."

He simply responded "oh", as if my answer made all the sense in the world.

Yeah, I'm still waiting for my MOTY trophy.

Ooh ... And same son's first word was "fuckhead".