FFFC

[glitzyglow]

Anyone have any? I need a coffee IV to get through today...or a rousing FFFC! (devil)

[bl]

While he is supportive because he knows how important it is to me, the bf is upset about me doing the bike ride. Doing the bike ride means very few, if any trips to see each other from Jun-Sept. In his mind I am choosing the bike ride over him, which I guess to an extent I am, but I do not regret my decision at all. I hate that he feels this way, but not enough to change my mind. I don't know if that makes me a shitty gf or not. This might make us consider trying to have him move here earlier than originally planned, and I think I am okay with that.

[glitzyglow]

I told my sister on Saturday that I felt like I was getting "signs" reminding me of a person who I have strong chemistry with, but for whatever reason he entered my life but left without any real warning and it was so mystifying to me because from his words it seemed that he felt what I felt. I wasn't sure why he was in my head or why I kept seeing "signs" that reminded me of him, but then I came upon a new-to-me tarot reading on YouTube that nailed what I was feeling. Her "prediction" was that there would be a reconnect this month. My sister watched it, too, and we discussed it and I told her it would be interesting if it happened, but obviously I don't center my life on tarot readings.

I'll be damned if that person didn't randomly text me last night out of the blue after months of no communication and apologize for his behavior. I texted my sister the screen shot of the notification and her text was similar to "what0989435R#$%#$%##$@#$%#$%&%^$^$!WHAT!!#$%#$%@#@#$@!!" which is how I also felt, lol.

[pantsoffdanceoff]

Mar 18, 2016 13:17:49 GMT -5 bl said:

While he is supportive because he knows how important it is to me, the bf is upset about me doing the bike ride. Doing the bike ride means very few, if any trips to see each other from Jun-Sept. In his mind I am choosing the bike ride over him, which I guess to an extent I am, but I do not regret my decision at all. I hate that he feels this way, but not enough to change my mind. I don't know if that makes me a shitty gf or not. This might make us consider trying to have him move here earlier than originally planned, and I think I am okay with that.

Here's my opinion, you aren't choosing the bike ride over him, you are choosing YOU over him. This bike ride means a lot to you and you feel a sense of accomplishment when you finish. Also, if you were to not do the bike ride because of him, you might end up resenting him.

[TR]

Mar 18, 2016 13:43:31 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

I told my sister on Saturday that I felt like I was getting "signs" reminding me of a person who I have strong chemistry with, but for whatever reason he entered my life but left without any real warning and it was so mystifying to me because from his words it seemed that he felt what I felt. I wasn't sure why he was in my head or why I kept seeing "signs" that reminded me of him, but then I came upon a new-to-me tarot reading on YouTube that nailed what I was feeling. Her "prediction" was that there would be a reconnect this month. My sister watched it, too, and we discussed it and I told her it would be interesting if it happened, but obviously I don't center my life on tarot readings.

I'll be damned if that person didn't randomly text me last night out of the blue after months of no communication and apologize for his behavior. I texted my sister the screen shot of the notification and her text was similar to "what0989435R#$%#$%##$@#$%#$%&%^$^$!WHAT!!#$%#$%@#@#$@!!" which is how I also felt, lol.

 Holy shit 

[bl]

pantsoffdanceoff thanks! I think he knows that too because he did say if it will make you happy then you should do it. However I could tell he wasn't thrilled when I told him I did yesterday. I am sure he will get over it, and I do believe I made the right decision, but the distance really does suck sometimes. If we lived in the same city this wouldn't even be a discussion.

glitzyglow Holy shit is all I have to say as well, that is crazy!

[TR]

bl, why does it prevent visits? Time you need to train? Money?

[bl]

TR It's PTO that's the problem. That's the short answer, and here is the long one.

I get 5.5 weeks of PTO a year that are accrued per paycheck. I am taking significant time off in May to spend time with him (the rock festival we have planned) and my best friend who I haven't seen in 3 years that will deplete my PTO bank down to .6 hours. We need about a week off the first week in September if he moves, plus I typically take a Friday off once a month to go see him for the weekend. Doing that will only leave me with 10 hours of PTO the week of the bike ride and I need 40 hours, so in order to do the ride I can't take those Fridays off. He only gets 1 week of PTO a year and is using it in May, so him coming to see me isn't a good option either.

[TR]

Mar 18, 2016 14:50:26 GMT -5 bl said:

TR It's PTO that's the problem. That's the short answer, and here is the long one.

I get 5.5 weeks of PTO a year that are accrued per paycheck. I am taking significant time off in May to spend time with him (the rock festival we have planned) and my best friend who I haven't seen in 3 years that will deplete my PTO bank down to .6 hours. We need about a week off the first week in September if he moves, plus I typically take a Friday off once a month to go see him for the weekend. Doing that will only leave me with 10 hours of PTO the week of the bike ride and I need 40 hours, so in order to do the ride I can't take those Fridays off. He only gets 1 week of PTO a year and is using it in May, so him coming to see me isn't a good option either.

Gotcha. Maybe you could take slightly less time off if/when he moves and add one or two Fridays in there. But really, it sounds like you're using a lot of PTO for him already so...yeah. Team You. (which I know he is, too, really, but you kwim)

[Deleted]

Aren't there some 3 day weekends due to built in holidays he could take? Good Friday, memorial day, fourth of July, etc.

[boing]

I'm eloping and I have a honeymoon registry.
I mean, we already paid for the entire honeymoon but people kept asking if we had a registry...so we made one and put stuff like shore excursions and "drinks by the pool" on it.
I think that's considered tacky but whatevs. I'm only giving it to people who ask!

[Deleted]

Mar 18, 2016 14:50:26 GMT -5 bl said:

TR It's PTO that's the problem. That's the short answer, and here is the long one.

I get 5.5 weeks of PTO a year that are accrued per paycheck. I am taking significant time off in May to spend time with him (the rock festival we have planned) and my best friend who I haven't seen in 3 years that will deplete my PTO bank down to .6 hours. We need about a week off the first week in September if he moves, plus I typically take a Friday off once a month to go see him for the weekend. Doing that will only leave me with 10 hours of PTO the week of the bike ride and I need 40 hours, so in order to do the ride I can't take those Fridays off. He only gets 1 week of PTO a year and is using it in May, so him coming to see me isn't a good option either.

Do you fly? If so, could you just take a late flight after work on Friday (or could HE) and come back Sunday?

I have to be honest that I wouldn't be happy if I couldn't see my SO for 4 months because of a hobby. I'd want to be supportive, but I'd be hurt. However, I think it sucks that he can't meet you halfway on this one. He should take a day off without pay or figure out some way to come to you sometimes, so you can see him AND participate in this bike ride.

Take me with a grain of salt, too, since I don't think I could do a LD relationship anyway Time together is super important to me. I know everyone is different!

[Deleted]

I am in a LD relationship and I see him once every 4-5 months for a week.
Every once in awhile I do an altered schedule and work a Saturday and then take the following Friday off. Is your work possibly flexible in that aspect or is his? I feel like 4 months isn't too long to go without seeing each other but my view is skewed.

[jigsy]

I am totally on your side bl ...I think it is important to maintain individual hobbies/likes/whatevers when you enter into a relationship. I can understand why the BF can be bummed, but he shouldn't make you feel bad for doing something that is clearly important to you, and I hope that you guys can figure something out to where the time apart doesn't feel as bad as you think it might.

boing - not flameful! My very good friend is getting married and I am happily contributing to their honeymoon fund. They have lived on their own, they don't need random stuff to fill their already full apartment...but if I can give them an amazing experience to remember, then I am happy to do so and will only feel a little jealous as I put down the money (because I want to do all the fun things too!!)

My most flameful thing right now is that I have been sucked into playing the stupid Kardashian phone game. It is so stupid! But it is a great time waster while at work.

[bl]

Thanks ladies for the feedback/suggestion!

He doesn't get any holidays off unless they already fall on his scheduled days off, and doesn't have a typical schedule. He works overnights on a 12 hour rotation type shift, so he only has every other weekend off.

I have historically hated to spend the points or dollars to fly if it wasn't for at least 3 days, however in the short term to make sure we get to see each other this is something I can/should compromise on. I don't handle us going long stretches without seeing each other well either, we are currently on day 34 and I am counting down until the 31st when I get 10 days in Dallas.

I have a work trip in July where I can tack on an extra weekend without paying or using PTO that I completely forgot about, so we only need to figure out June and August.

Hopefully I can have my cake and eat it too, so to speak in this situation.

@boing I don't think it is tacky. I personally don't donate to them only because I know the fees they charge behind the scenes, so I just give cash and assume they will use it toward the honeymoon or something fun anyways.

[pandora]

I lost 1 of my sibling pets recently - same litter, super close since birth. The brother has been pretty distant to me and I don't know what to do. I miss my snuggly gurl, his sister so much, and I think she kept him out of his shell. I'm showering him with love and trying to play with him like he used to love but he's not having it.

I'm really worried how he's going to deal when this baby arrives.

I have another pet, their niece (they are genetically all related) and she's getting more assertive with attention and head butts him out of the way...and he just walks away which breaks my heart. I want my baby girl back so they can be back to their normal dynamic/ pecking order because I don't like it like this! I think my poor boy needs a shrink from losing his life long bff, lol. :/

Flame worthy part is that I get kind of mad at the niece for trying to take over now that my girl is gone. She was a later add/adoption so they had their Alpha, 2nd and she was 3rd. Now she's vying for Alpha because my boy is acting depressed.

[sweetchix]

I'm late but I talked with my brother a bit ago (yes we talked from 11:30-1:30) and he told me he and his gf are coming up for my mom's 60th bday in May. While I'm happy he's coming up and I get to see him and meet his gf, this means he won't be able to come up for my 40th.

Originally my stepdad mentioned having a joint party for my mom and me since we've both got big bdays this year and then everyone would only have to make one trip here. But I haven't heard anything about that in a while. And now with both my sister and my brother coming up for my mom's bday, it sounds like the joint party isn't happening anymore. I'm bummed because turning 40 is a big deal to me and I really wanted to celebrate. I don't have many friends and I currently don't have an SO, so I was really hoping to have my family here to spend it with.

[pandora]

Mar 19, 2016 1:26:47 GMT -5 sweetchix said:

I'm late but I talked with my brother a bit ago (yes we talked from 11:30-1:30) and he told me he and his gf are coming up for my mom's 60th bday in May. While I'm happy he's coming up and I get to see him and meet his gf, this means he won't be able to come up for my 40th.

Originally my stepdad mentioned having a joint party for my mom and me since we've both got big bdays this year and then everyone would only have to make one trip here. But I haven't heard anything about that in a while. And now with both my sister and my brother coming up for my mom's bday, it sounds like the joint party isn't happening anymore. I'm bummed because turning 40 is a big deal to me and I really wanted to celebrate. I don't have many friends and I currently don't have an SO, so I was really hoping to have my family here to spend it with.

I think you should plan something for your 40th while they visiting! I'm sure they would love to do both, including your Mom.

[cuddlyevil]

I was at my fave place last night for dinner and a guy walked in and I thought "I hope he gets seated by me". And he did He was only there for a drink, but we chatted for a bit--he's cute and friend of the bartenders so maybe?

I haven't had sex in over 5 months.

[cuddlyevil]

Mar 19, 2016 11:17:14 GMT -5 mp said:

Mar 19, 2016 8:27:10 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

I was at my fave place last night for dinner and a guy walked in and I thought "I hope he gets seated by me". And he did He was only there for a drink, but we chatted for a bit--he's cute and friend of the bartenders so maybe?

I haven't had sex in over 5 months.

Pshhhht why did you post this in the flameful thread? I'm about ready to hop on the next dick I see, I really want the sex. So, I feel you.

(Ok,that's an exaggeration. I still have standards. A few.)

Heh. He left early because he was meeting friends.

I'm fine with waiting for the right guy. It just stinks that I haven't found him yet.