Big sister.

[mk]

We recently found out that baby s has a big sister. she's working on her CNA, so I'm going to call her nurse Diva. All we knew was that she was 16 and fine in her home. The babys case worker never said anything about visits, so I brought it up. About a week after CW told her we'd asked for visits, her guardian got arrested. Now she (and her 5 year old sister) are with other family, and I think they'll be happy there. I'm not sure how permanent it all is.

FF to yesterday, court day. Nurse Diva and her long lost baby brother reunited. many tears. beautiful and so incredibly sad.

I do not feel ready to parent a teenager, nor do I think it's likely that she would stay with us... But I can't stop thinking about her. She is completely amazing, and she's my babys sister! Did she get off to school on time today? Is anyone practicing driving with her so she can get her license? Can she really speak honestly with her aunt about how all of this is affecting her? Sigh.
If we get to adopt the baby, I'm fighting for the other two. I haven't talked to Katie about this yet. I'm totally ahead if myself. Roller coaster!

From Mandy's phone

[Deleted]

:heart: :heart: :heart:

You are a wonderful mama.

[kershnic]

How exciting! Even if you're not meant to be her mom, that doesn't mean you couldn't play a mentor/aunt/etc role in her life! Only time can tell where a case will go, but the more people who love and support and care about kids the better.

[ct]

I totally get it - your baby's blood is your blood too

What about the 5 year old? Honestly, the 16 yo is going to age out of the system very soon so I can see why the state isnt pushing too hard for permanency with her, but have you been asked about taking the other child?

and I totally agree w/ Kershnic...there are lots of wonderful support roles you could play in her life even if not full time parenting.

[mk]

The five year old is placed with the aunt (with nurse diva). Her mom is going to try to get them both back, I think. Nurse diva says as soon as she turns 18 she's going to try to get custody of her little sister. Bless her heart! It looks like she pretty much raised her, anyway.

So... Nobody has approached us with anything, really. I think the aunt wants to keep them, because they're biologically related to her, but I'm not sure. If only we had a bigger house and I could stay home with them... I would ask for them today!
From Mandy's phone

[mk]

I know that we can still have an impact on nurse diva without adopting her. I keep thinking about things we can do together...ways to include her in our family. I think we should all get pictures taken together, right?!

What else? I'm trying not to rush into anything... Katie isn't ready for her to know where we live, but we should give her our phone numbers, right? I wonder if she had a cell phone??

From Mandy's phone

[Duchess1]

I totally understand what you are feeling right now!

I hope you can find a way to stay connected no matter where everyone is living. Keep us posted.

[kershnic]

I think giving her your numbers is a great place to start. Including her aunt in the conversation is also a good idea so she deosn't end up feeling threatened by you guys. Does baby S share both parents with the older girls, or half sibs on mother or father side? (Does Baby S have a Bio relation to this aunt?)

[mk]

Aug 31, 2012 12:51:42 GMT -5 kershnic said:

I think giving her your numbers is a great place to start. Including her aunt in the conversation is also a good idea so she deosn't end up feeling threatened by you guys. Does baby S share both parents with the older girls, or half sibs on mother or father side? (Does Baby S have a Bio relation to this aunt?)

Baby S shares a mom with Nurse Diva, and ND shares a dad with the 5 year old. So she and my babe aren't related biologically. The aunt isn't related either, which is why she didn't want him.

From Mandy's phone

[eratmama]

I think phone numbers (we give out our cell phone number, but not our home number--easier to screen calls) and emails are ok. Arrange to meet in a public place if hyou feel comfortable.

UGH! But, there is lots of "grey area' and room to help forge relationships.

[mk]

We had our first supervised visitation, and it was kinda terrible, but because of the organization that did the supervising. We're thinking of doing it on or own (but staying out in the community for now)

From Mandy's phone