Anything you wish you included in your divorce/custody?

[m1and1m]

Hi,
I'm posting for a friend, although I posted once or twice I think. It may have been pre-PB days actually. Anyway, I told her about the board and sent her the link tonight but she hasn't made a decision on whether or not to join.

Her DH is saying he wants a divorce, she does not at this point but is getting her ducks in a row to protect herself. They have been married over 16 years, have five kids, she has been SAHM since day one and also homeschools all of them.

I know I've heard here and there about weird random things people didn't have in their paperwork that seemed fine at the time but turned into a problem later. Of course I can't remember them now that I want to, so I told her I would ask here. Is there anything you wish you had included, or regret having included? Is there anything you would do different when finalizing things?

[tevagirl]

We did not put anything about moving out of state in ours and XH moved two states away about 6 months after the divorce was final. It's making visitation difficult for DD.

[heyney]

Hi, i would've included:
-annual cost of living increase on child support
-child support continues if the child elects to attend college and continues to live with you
-if when the child gets a phone and your ex-dh calls/texts the child, that he is responsible for 1/2 the cost

If i think of anything else, I'll post again.

[Deleted]

Disclaimer: I only have dogs. This is from others experiences.
Because my xBIL is a douche.... my sister's lawyer put she receives 100k from any life insurance policy he has, regardless of listed beneficiaries. (I personally would require life insurance of x amount for that many kids).

As well as to protect from out of state moves/longer distance moves, he can't require her to miss any work or have the kid miss school to make it on time to visitation. As in the kid lives a plane ride away from her dad but the agreement states 5pm is start of a visitation weekend. The kid can't be pulled from school early to make it by 5pm on a friday.

After school activities are 50/50 to be reimbursed x amount of days after proof of payment is given to the other payment.
define medical, dental, and eye insurance for coverage.

Kids are to come back from visitation with all clothes/toys/electronics or have x amount of days to reimburse or return the items.

[redshoejune]

information about how/when new SOs will be introduced to kids and ex, that has been huge for me

more detailed information on who feeds the kinds on days when we exchange - we had a verbal agreement that we put in place as soon a couple weeks into our coparenting and now it is causing us problems since we exchange so close to the kids bedtime

information on how disputes will be settled regarding the joint decision making - we don't agree on where DD1 will go to daycare this summer and I don't know where to go next with it

[1confused1]

Specific pick up and drop off time and location to exchange the kids. And if the other doesn't show up after a set amount of time (ours is 15 minutes) the visitation is cancelled.

Also a holiday and birthday schedule .

[stephreloaded]

Mar 27, 2016 23:27:49 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Specific pick up and drop off time and location to exchange the kids. And if the other doesn't show up after a set amount of time (ours is 15 minutes) the visitation is cancelled.

Also a holiday and birthday schedule .

The time and place is HUGE. Not necessarily for me but I have seen so many situations where people fight over an hour. 

I would also include something about extra curricular activities and medical costs.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Mar 27, 2016 23:27:49 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Specific pick up and drop off time and location to exchange the kids. And if the other doesn't show up after a set amount of time (ours is 15 minutes) the visitation is cancelled.

Also a holiday and birthday schedule .

ditto on a set place/time ... in the UNLIKELY event the court grants xh visitation (supervised) the exchange/visit is to happen at the sheriff's station so if he tries anything funny, i've got the peace of mind that LE is there in case anything goes screwy.

[Linie]

This might not apply to the US or to a situation with children, but we will include a clause in which we both waive the right to ask for alimony (for ourselves). Should my STBXH ever have money troubles (which should never happen), he cannot come to me.