Empty Nesters?

[mags]

How may of you young ladies are empty nesters? How is that going for you?

[hisno1girl]

We've been empty nesters for eight years.

Not going to lie: LOVE IT.

[mags]

Mar 30, 2016 21:35:53 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

Not going to lie: LOVE IT.

Wow 8 years!
I'm enjoyed it in the beginning, but now I'm bored to death. I just got a part time job, on top of my full time one, because I'm so bored.

[Deleted]

mags, I've adjusted but to be honest, it sucked for me at first. On top of the empty nest, my H took a job in another country temporarily. The loneliness was awful. I hated the empty nest. The trick for me was ultimately getting busy and embracing gratitude for my daughters as adults. (There also was about 4 years of heavy wine consumption in there, which is not a solution I'd recommend!)

[flex]

I've been an empty nester for some time now. I love it. I get to do what I want and when I want--I don't have to be concerned about anyone's schedule except my own. There's always plenty to be done.

[10nille]

I've been one since the last one left for college and they never moved back home after graduation. I guess since they call often and I see my DD a lot it isn't as bad as I thought it would be with them gone. It's hard knowing my son probably will never spend another Christmas 'home' since he got married and his job makes it difficult.

[Beeps (WOT?*)]

I was an empty nester for a couple years (minus a few months here and there) when Kayleigh (that would be Kiddo or GD1 to the rest of the online world) first moved in with her mom. I won't lie. I *loved* being able to just pack up and travel with DH whenever I wanted to go. Since they've moved in, I've missed Vegas (twice), Austin, Phoenix, New Orleans, Florida Gulf Coast, DC and a host of other places and will be missing Nashville and probably the Gulf Coast (unless I can talk myself and him into letting the girls miss a couple days of school, which I'm reluctant to do right now since they're both late on homework) in the next month. But my youngest son moved to Tampa less than an hour north of where DH is having his meeting and I'd love to see him and his girlfriend. I love the grands, and love having them here, but dadblameit I do miss having the freedom of being able to do what I want when I want to do it.

I know I'll be sad though when I can't get them all together for a holiday or family get-together. That ship has sailed though, when the kids moved out and started spreading across the country.

[MixedBerryJam]

The countdown is on for me. One son is away at college (currently a sophomore) and one son will be leaving for basic training (Army) on August 27. I booked a trip to Iceland for right after Labor Day weekend to shake things up, but I'm already wondering what it's going to feel like when I come home afterwards to an empty house.

I also wonder where I'm going to end up retiring. I'd like to be near the kids, wherever they end up but they talk about staying in New England and I'd like someplace warm. So many unknowns!

[mags]

We were always big travelers so that part hasn't changed, I started fostering dogs, got a part time job, but I still miss not having them at home, it just seems well so empty!
I do like having the house clean!

[jamich]

Debbie downer alert:
I'll be honest, it has kind of sucked. Everything revolved around my kids and, when they were gone, I just didn't know what to do to fill that time. I still don't.
My marriage sucks and we live out in the country, 25 miles from the nearest city. I work and drive in every day but when I get off I just want to go home. I'm very introverted so, even though my home life isn't happy, it's still my safe place.
I'm still struggling with trying to find something to replace them. Right now I just go home and watch TV until I fall asleep.

[rosiebear]

Two teens, and one of them, to be perfectly honest, isn't highly motivated to be self-sufficient just yet. Sigh. I know my H (their stepdad) is wary of that. We shall see! The other child already has her bags half packed, lol.

We only have the kids every other week, though, so we get the best of both worlds, imo.

[mags]

Mar 31, 2016 8:51:50 GMT -5 jamich said:

Debbie downer alert:
I'll be honest, it has kind of sucked. Everything revolved around my kids and, when they were gone, I just didn't know what to do to fill that time. I still don't.
My marriage sucks and we live out in the country, 25 miles from the nearest city. I work and drive in every day but when I get off I just want to go home. I'm very introverted so, even though my home life isn't happy, it's still my safe place.
I'm still struggling with trying to find something to replace them. Right now I just go home and watch TV until I fall asleep.

How about volunteering some place?
dog?

[dirtyred]

Mar 30, 2016 21:35:53 GMT -5 hisno1girl said:

We've been empty nesters for eight years.

Not going to lie: LOVE IT.

Ditto.  I threw a huge party when the youngest went off to college.  My DH was in the fetal position. 

[frannyr]

Mar 31, 2016 9:47:55 GMT -5 mags said:

Mar 31, 2016 8:51:50 GMT -5 jamich said:

Debbie downer alert:
I'll be honest, it has kind of sucked. Everything revolved around my kids and, when they were gone, I just didn't know what to do to fill that time. I still don't.
My marriage sucks and we live out in the country, 25 miles from the nearest city. I work and drive in every day but when I get off I just want to go home. I'm very introverted so, even though my home life isn't happy, it's still my safe place.
I'm still struggling with trying to find something to replace them. Right now I just go home and watch TV until I fall asleep.

How about volunteering some place?
dog?

or volunteering with dogs!  How about walking dogs on the weekend or socializing with cats?

Actually you sound depressed from your post.  I do agree with mags about maybe getting a dog, if that's a possibility. It can change your life.

[2boys2danes]

We are not yet but are on the countdown -- our boys are in 9th grade so they'll be off to college before we know it. I'm both excited and terrified of it at the same time lol

[sweetcheeks]

I've been an empty nester for 11 years, when my youngest left for college. At first I loved it. It was just me and the cats, and I finally felt I could put myself first, without feeling guilty. I also loved it when the girls came home to visit during school breaks. It was the best of both worlds. Then, my life kinda blew up, with two layoffs, two of my three cats passing, two daughters marrying, one divorcing, one diagnosed with a chronic illness, my Mom's declining health and move to a nursing home (or as we called it, 'the hell hole'). My life had become a stress buffet, and looking back on it, not sure how the hell I survived.

Things finally turned around. I've been at my current job for 3 and a half years, and finally have stopped fearing yet another lay off. Sadly, my Mom passed two years ago this month, and while my heart was shattered and I had no idea how I was going to survive without her, the happy memories have surpassed the sad ones, and I can smile again. I moved two years ago into a home that I love.

But, for the first time in my life, I feel lonely. One daughter lives 600 miles away, and I only see her a few times a year. The other daughter and I are estranged, and haven't spoken for 2 years. One sister moved to Florida and the other, who lives 45 minutes away, is very social and often has plans. Not close to my nieces or nephews (who barely have time for their own mothers). My best friend (and honestly, my only friend) moved 5 hours away. It's just me and the cat now. I may be the only person who secretly looks forward to Monday mornings, just so I'm around people and have someone to talk to.

I do volunteer with a cat TNR, with their various fundrasing projects, and am thinking of moving near my daughter, once I retire. But that's at least 7 years away. This empty nest thing kinda sucks.

[fairygodmother]

Me, too..kids live nearby (20 mins away) and we seem them when we (and they) want...freedom to do what we want, when we want and we no longer cover their rent, etc.

[Mashara]

jamich, I hope you find solutions. Have you considered moving to town? I'm introverted and love to garden, but I think country living would be too alone for me also.

sweetcheeks,think about getting another cat Maybe yours is lonely too. Do you have hobbies other than the cat volunteering? Hobby clubs and Meetup are good low stress ways to interact with people.

[sweetcheeks]

Apr 2, 2016 14:19:27 GMT -5 Mashara said:

sweetcheeks ,think about getting another cat Maybe yours is lonely too. Do you have hobbies other than the cat volunteering? Hobby clubs and Meetup are good low stress ways to interact with people.

My psycho cat would never accept another cat.  He barely tolerated the other two (who I had first) and he clearly loves having me all to himself.

The problem with joining any kind of 'club' is I don't want the commitment. I'm not a 'people' person (and I get more than enough of that at work, dealing with customers). Any hobbies I am interested in cultivating are pretty much solitary things.

I don't mind being 'alone'. I prefer it.  My sister from Florida just texted me that she's coming up to visit, and I'm dreading her wanting to stay with me (well, primarily because a little bit of her goes a long way - and she's a Trump supporter). I would just prefer to have the people who I do currently care about around a little more frequently. 

[jamich]

I love dogs but my husband is kind of a jerk about pets/animals.
I have thought about taking a class to learn how to sew, knit, crochet, or quilt. I've also thought about volunteering or even getting a second job.
I'm definitely depressed and have been trying to psych myself up to make an appt. with a therapist.

[mags]

Apr 2, 2016 15:41:29 GMT -5 jamich said:

I love dogs but my husband is kind of a jerk about pets/animals.
I have thought about taking a class to learn how to sew, knit, crochet, or quilt. I've also thought about volunteering or even getting a second job.
I'm definitely depressed and have been trying to psych myself up to make an appt. with a therapist.

Please please make that apt! It isn't going to get any better.

I just got a 2nd job to keep me busy.

[FormerlyRR]

I am an empty nester I guess? Widowed and no kids. I have lived alone for 4 years now and loved it 95% of the time. Things with the BF are looking serious, tho, and he has three kids and 50/50 custody, so I guess I will possibly lose my status in the next year or so. Not sure how I feel about that.

[rella1098]

My daughter is a junior in high school and I am already feeling sad about it.

She is my only one. I hate to say she is my hobby, but really she is. My life has consisted of dance practices, watching her perform at football games, and everything else she has been involved in. She has one foot out the door and I am sad. lol

[Deleted]

Apr 2, 2016 15:41:29 GMT -5 jamich said:

I love dogs but my husband is kind of a jerk about pets/animals.
I have thought about taking a class to learn how to sew, knit, crochet, or quilt. I've also thought about volunteering or even getting a second job.
I'm definitely depressed and have been trying to psych myself up to make an appt. with a therapist.

Seeing a therapist might be a great idea. I wish I'd talked with someone about the empty nest. There were several events right as my nest emptied; each one alone would have warranted some sessions and discussion. Big believer in therapy now.  The first 4 years were lonely and I was severely depressed. Make the call -- you'll be glad you did!