Does your husband or SO treat you

[Deleted]

With seriousness? Mine has always made little cracks, jokes, etc. I enjoy his humor. He's made me laugh every day we've been together and that probably saved us from many arguments over many years of marriage.

But dang there's times I wish he'd stop cracking jokes and take me seriously. Usually I preface my serious conversation with something like "now I'd like too talk about something that is really important to me..." which seems forced.

I wish I didn't have to make such a request. Probably sounds like I have a stick up my butt. I really don't. It's just on occasion I'd like him to listen without some stupid joke or comment. Anyone else have suggestions?

[mrsukyankee]

My H is quick to joke as well. I do start conversations with something similar to the "this is really important to me" - partially due to the joke cracking and partially due to ADD (so he needs to focus). I just accept that this is how our relationship is and it works.

[mags]

I think I'm the husband in this case. I'm the joker and he gets mad...lol

[Linie]

My (new) boyfriend is very funny and always telling jokes/funny stories but he takes me very serious. Of course, It's all very new.

My STBXH never took me serious, he always disregarded my views or choices

[Pom]

My H can be funny, but he doesn't do this. He probably values his balls too much.

I don't think you have a stick up your butt at all. Talking about serious stuff while someone cracks jokes would send me in to orbit.

My suggestion is that you sit him down and tells him that you love his humor. His jokes light up your life. BUT, please try and understand that you need him to be serious sometimes. It hurts you when he turns important stuff into a joke. I find I have to SPELL IT OUT for Mr. P. We are very different personalities/thinkers but get along great for the most part. He doesn't get subtleties and if I simply gloss over it and don't take the time to explain something completely about why a thing pisses me off, I can't expect it to get better.

[Pom]

dup

[mortomo]

Mine is a jokester and cracks jokes all of the time (about everything). I honestly think it's his coping mechanism for stress.  He's also just a goofball and that's one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place.

I have to preface my concerns with 'I really need you to listen and not joke about this' when I need him to be serious. He listens when I say that, otherwise he would never have a clue. I've found that he needs me to be direct in what I need and want otherwise I'm setting myself up for jokes!

[Pom]

Apr 11, 2016 10:54:21 GMT -5 mortomo said:

 I honestly think it's his coping mechanism for stress.   

I think this is something many people do.

[Deleted]

Apr 11, 2016 2:39:39 GMT -5 mrsukyankee said:

My H is quick to joke as well. I do start conversations with something similar to the "this is really important to me" - partially due to the joke cracking and partially due to ADD (so he needs to focus). I just accept that this is how our relationship is and it works.

Sounds like us! Apparently I just need more acceptance like you mentioned, mrsukyankee.  I do love the humor and always tell him that's important. Apparently he isn't psychic about my more serious times!  LOL

[Deleted]

Apr 11, 2016 10:54:21 GMT -5 mortomo said:

Mine is a jokester and cracks jokes all of the time (about everything). I honestly think it's his coping mechanism for stress.  He's also just a goofball and that's one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place.

I have to preface my concerns with 'I really need you to listen and not joke about this' when I need him to be serious. He listens when I say that, otherwise he would never have a clue. I've found that he needs me to be direct in what I need and want otherwise I'm setting myself up for jokes!

This is SO us, mortomo. He's a pretty private person and uses humor to release stress. I just wish I didn't have to preface my discussion with asking him to listen to me!

[Gato]

I'm the one who makes jokes (despite how unfunny I usually am on here). That's how my family related to each other growing up. I have to remember that H's feelings are more easily hurt than mine.

[sweetcheeks]

My ex is funny, and prides himself on his humor. But it's often a dark humor and used passive-aggressively. At one time, I was bored being a SAHM, and was considering various college classes/programs, in order to go back to work and start a career. He was dead set against my going back to work. One day, I mentioned that maybe I should look into the Wharton School of Business for an MBA (I have a BBA). He snorted and said "the only graduate school you could get into is 'the Mr Rogers School of Business'.

He pulled that shit all the time, and when called out on it, would get indignant and respond "I was only joking".

[10nille]

I'm fairly sarcastic and he is witty. When I want to be taken seriously I throw in a few F bombs and that shocks him into being smart enough not to crack wise.

[Deleted]

Apr 11, 2016 18:19:19 GMT -5 sweetcheeks said:

My ex is funny, and prides himself on his humor. But it's often a dark humor and used passive-aggressively. At one time, I was bored being a SAHM, and was considering various college classes/programs, in order to go back to work and start a career. He was dead set against my going back to work. One day, I mentioned that maybe I should look into the Wharton School of Business for an MBA (I have a BBA). He snorted and said "the only graduate school you could get into is 'the Mr Rogers School of Business'.

He pulled that shit all the time, and when called out on it, would get indignant and respond "I was only joking".

Ouch. No wonder he's an ex.