For those that have lost a mom

[jennistarr1]

And please answer this if you can, I don't want to make anyone more upset than they need to be

But if you lost your mom, and hypothetically you had one more day with her, what would you make sure you do

because I think I'm getting to that point with my mom and I am so shut down i actually need help with this

[savan]

Get all her recipes. I so wish I had done that before she died but I was in too much denial. I'd love to make some of the comfort food from my childhood.

[sparkythelawyer]

We would get our nails done, Have a roast beef sandwich with mayo, salt and pepper from a good NY deli, tea and cookies, and chat and chat and chat.

[tellmesomethingood]

I haven't lost a mom, but my grandmother was like a mom to me growing up and she has dementia.

I wish we had gotten some of her recipes written down. She just knew them and it didn't occur to anyone to write them down. Now they're just lost, save for a few that were in her special cookbook.

I also have her life story written down and it's so special.

Big hugs to you.

[wambam]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry.

I lost my biological mother when I was 10. So, to be very honest, I wish I had a day with her as an adult. I would just want to listen to stories about HS/college, her relationship with my dad, etc. I would also want to hear about where she got her strength during her cancer battle and how she found it within herself to be selfless through that. And also, I would love to be able to just have a fun day with her as an adult. We were very very close when I was growing up and my biggest sense of loss is that we could not be friends when I grew up.

Again, I am so sorry you're going through this.

[snowflurry]

I lost my mom suddenly last year. I wish I had known more about her life growing up and more about how she met my dad.

[moolarkey]

I don't want to DO anything, I just want to be with her. Just spend the entire day with her. If conversations happened, that would be good but just being with her again.

[starlily]

My mom has advanced dementia.

I wish I had gotten more of her recipes and done more cooking with her. I also wish I had asked her more about her pre-teen/teen years.

[usuallylurking]

My mom passed when I was 19. I wasn't a cuddly kid, but man I could make her laugh- I'd love to make her laugh again. If I had another day with her I'd just want to talk and talk and talk. I don't feel like I knew my mom- I'd love more stories of her childhood, her high school days, her early adult days, her marriage advice, her parenting tips and tricks and advice.

She wasn't much of a cook, lol. But if she was I'd definitely want her recipes. My grandma wrote me an entire recipe book in her handwriting and all of her personal recipes when I got married. It is hands down one of my most cherished possessions.

Hugs, OP. And everyone else in here.

[youbetcha]

We would go to lunch and shopping and talk. /

[megstoo]

My mom passed away a few years ago at Christmas (she was 57) and there's a few things I wish I would have done, I also wish I would have done this with my MIL before she passed away:

Just be there for her - my mom had heart failure - let conversations flow naturally and don't force anything
Get her recipes of food I loved and of her favorite foods - I cook her favorite foods for dinner on her bday
Go through photo albums and laugh/remember those moments and ask questions about her childhood/teen years
The biggest thing though: I thought I had more time but just be yourself with her.

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's very hard to lose a parent.

[lizrd7579]

My mom is still living, but my MIL has passed. I know DH wishes all the time he would have a few of her recipes. One of the things he was really excited to find a few years ago were audio recordings of her singing songs she sang to him when he was little. If you can get her to tell stories or sing, record it.

[sugarbear]

I'm so sorry.

I lost my mom when I was 7, so I wouldn't have known what to do. Today, if I had one more day with her, I'd ask her for stories about her childhood and her family history.

(I would say recipes, but my maternal grandmother was a horrible cook and from what I gather, my mom inherited that trait.)

[jennistarr1]

Apr 13, 2016 13:22:45 GMT -5 Jennyanydots said:

I'm sorry.

For my mom, if she was up for it, I would want to record her talking about how her and my dad met and got married, because I love that story.

I would also want to record her laugh.

ETA: Sorry, I didn't follow instructions. I haven't lost my mom, but I have thought about this scenario before when she had breast cancer. Hope it's ok that I responded.

of course, thank you

[emoflamingo]

I wish I had asked her more about her childhood. I lost my mom at 20, so I was just getting to that "hear stories" stage of my life. I don't know how she and my dad met and I could ask him, but he's not nearly the story teller she was.

I have her recipes, but some of them are pretty vague - like lasagna is just a list of things that go in it but not amounts. And I have some of her handwriting. I wish I had more video and audio, more pictures. I make it a point to take pictures with my kids more now that I don't have her.

*hug*

[dirtyred]

Go through any old photos and identify the people in them.

[lightbulbsun]

I wish I would have done a taped interview of her life. I kept meaning to when she was sick, but it always seemed too depressing to bring up. Then all the sudden she went into hospice and died a week later.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

[orangeblossom]

Besides a ton of hugs and kisses and tell her I love her over and over, we'd start the day with a good diner breakfast, get our hair done, get a good lunch, where we'd talk about life, dream deferred, advice, then go shop til we dropped and then dinner and dessert.

I'm sorry your mother is sick. Hugs.

[underwaterrhymes]

I can't answer from the perspective of someone who has lost her mom, but I wanted to say I'm so, so sorry.

[eav2c]

Just be in her presence. Maybe paint our nails, order a pizza, and watch The Nanny and Law and Order. Nothing "big" but I would give so much to have one more girls day.

I'm so sorry.

[revolution]

I've lost my dad. I would just be with him. No phone. No distractions. I'd tell him everything I could. I'd tape his voice so I could play it back when I needed it. I'd hug him. A lot. I'd take him to his favorite dinner place. I'd make sure I knew his wishes for his estate very well. I'd watch our favorite movie together. I'd tell him I loved him and thank him for being the best dad a girl could have.

[venice2007]

I would just talk with her. I miss our chats. We were true best friends/soul mates. And I would tell her a billion times how much I loved her and how great a mom she was. I was so blessed when it came to moms.
I miss her every day even after almost 6 years.
We used to go to lunch A LOT and talk for hours

[karenj]

Hug her and hug her and hug her.  LOL

I had a dream a few years after my mom passed (she has been gone almost 14 years).  I was feeling so lonely and desperate for her.  All I can remember is she came to me and smiled and gave me a hug.  I felt such peace in my dream.  I wish that I could have that in reality.  

Crazy but some days I miss her so bad.  When everything in the world seems to go to shit I always knew she loved me and would be there for me.  I miss talking to her.  

[karenj]

I am so sorry your mom is sick

[Eagles]

I'm so sorry. Before my aunt passed, she too made recipe books for my cousins. I asked my mom to do the same for me for Christmas a couple of years ago so that I have hers, my aunt's, my grandmother's, etc.

[karenj]

Sorry to hog, but my mom died suddenly in a car accident. Her voice was on my mom and dad's answering machine. I must have called that number 20 times a day and I was so scared for the day that my dad would change it. A good friend had her dad record her message. I have that message and it was only a few years ago I was able to play it. My girls were babies when she died. As the tape was playing they thought it was me. That recording in one of the most precious things I have.

[Zoly]

I'm sorry your mom is sick.

I'd probably want to hear stories about how I was as a child since I lost her before I had my son. Which is funny considering my mom used to talk about me all the time to other people and I'd just be like "Jeez, why are you talk about me again?". I should have paid more attention.

[madringal]

Apr 13, 2016 12:53:21 GMT -5 savan said:

Get all her recipes. I so wish I had done that before she died but I was in too much denial. I'd love to make some of the comfort food from my childhood.

100% this. I also would have asked like a million questions about her pregnancy with me and my sisters. I would hug her, a lot.

[5hole]

Recipes for sure. She made this homemade fudge that I CRAVE all the time, but none of us kids ever learned how to make it. And talk and just let her give me all the advice I didn't want to listen to as a kid. I am sorry about your mom.

[fivechickens]

My mom died from leukemia. She was sick for 18 months. If I could go back I would have spent more time with her at her appts when she got chemo/platelets/blood. Some days I would drop her off and go run errands. I have a lot of guilt for not doing that even though most of the time they were errands for her but still it could have waited.

What I wish most is that she got to meet my girls. She would have been the best grandma.

ETA: I wish I had asked what I was like as a child. I have no idea I never asked because before DH I did not want kids and it never occurred to me to ask when we were TTC.