S/O - Flammable things you have said IRL

[pinotgrig]

Or times you've otherwise stuck your foot in your mouth. Doesn't have to be kid-related.

[pinotgrig]

I remember venting to H about friends who were running late meeting us for dinner. They had a ~1 year old at the time. They texted us and said she was still napping and I remember asking H "Why can't they just wake her up? I mean, that's what you do to me when we have to be somewhere." I also speculated as to why they didn't put her down earlier. And I was like 8 months pg at the time. Lol

I worked with a guy who had twins and asked him if twins ran his family. He ended up telling me about their TTTC and got a little emotional. I felt so bad for asking even though I was a young, naive college grad who knew nothing about any of that stuff.

My BFF that went through IVF - we had dinner together and she was complaining about something annoying her H was doing but had sweet intentions about. I laughed and told her she could she could have worse problems. This was right after she had a m/c and was waiting to see if their 2nd try worked. I felt so awful and apologized immediately but was mortified.

[noodleoo]

Ugh, I did one the other night. My friend is the last of our group who is still single. We are all turning 37 this year (ugh) and she said something about online dating at this age. And I was like "just lie!" I don't even know what I was thinking but I probably made her feel like crap. I blame the fact that I had a few drinks and I'm dumb.

[Mrs.flang]

I've actually said "well at least you know you can get pregnant" after a friend had a MC.  At the time, we had been trying for almost a year, and she had gotten pregnant immediately, so I was feeling all sorts of weird feelings.  I still think about it a lot and feel pretty terrible. 

[sunshineluv]

When I was about 3 months pregnant with my 2nd kid, I was at a dinner with some women from my church. Another girl there said she was pregnant (due one day after me) and she had A ~6 month old. I blurted out "was this a surprise?"... As soon as I said it I felt like a jerk.... I mean, it's none of my business.. we aren't that close. But she handled it really well, and the baby was a surprise.

[pennylane]

A few years ago, we were at a work event for my H, and he was introducing me to a guy he works with. They all fly for the Navy and have call signs, so H just told me the guys nickname. Now, most call signs are based off of something funny/embarrassing about the person, so I was like haha oh that's a terrible thing to have to be called. Turns out this guys was based on his actual name, so I basically told him he had a terrible name to his face. His wife was standing there looking at me like I was a raging bitch. Oops.

[mekia]

In 2nd grade I congratulated a teacher because I thought she was pregnant (and she was probably well into her 60s). She scolded me and it's been 25 years and I still feel bad when I remember that!

But more recent is when a close friend's father died in the hospital, I don't know why but I responded by saying "oh that's terrible, how exactly did he die?". Omg, I felt terrible- who the hell says that?!

[sunshineluv]

I have three others I can think of that the conversation is seared in my memory bc I was an inconsiderate jerk. In those instances my mouth was faster than my brain. One with a friend in high school, one with DH's grandfather, and one with a college roommate's mom. I would like to think they have forgotten what I said, but from time to time I think of it and have a pang of regret.

[patbutcher]

Apr 13, 2016 14:21:11 GMT -5 Mrs.flang said:

I've actually said "well at least you know you can get pregnant" after a friend had a MC.  At the time, we had been trying for almost a year, and she had gotten pregnant immediately, so I was feeling all sorts of weird feelings.  I still think about it a lot and feel pretty terrible. 

I don't think I ever said this out loud but I definitely thought it while going through TTTC. 

[mpc]

Once I told a "friend" at a fancy event that her coat looked like cruella de ville. It just popped out of my mouth. She was not amused.

Many years ago a dear friend of mine was freaked out about TTTC and what if she never had children and she was meant to be a mom and don't tell her it will happen cause you can't guarantee that. So I was like, look, you'll be a mom. If this doesn't work you can always adopt. :-#

[anna7602]

I have learned to never, ever, ever, ever comment on baby name choices IRL. My best friend ended up choosing the name about which I said, "it's cute, I have a friend who named her hedgehog that!"

[anna7602]

Apr 13, 2016 14:48:44 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

If I had a million dollars, I would still drive a Honda. Hondas 4 Lyfe!

Wait, why is this flammable? Were you making fun of a friend's car? 

[spk926]

When the woman anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural I said, "It's a GIRL?!"

Even DH looked at me like, "What the hell SPK? Women can be anesthesiologists too." Which I know, but in the moment I guess I was expecting a man since that's what I had with my first birth. No clue. I felt like shit and immediately apologized and tried to back pedal all while being in the most agonizing pitocin induced pain ever. It wasn't my best moment to say the least.

[bowies]

Oh God I've said and done some ignorant things in my 20s. Occasionally it bubbles up from long term memory and I feel fresh shame over it.

I won't be sharing any of that. Nope.

[amandakisser]

This isn't actually something I said, but rather something I did.

Years ago, before even TTC, I was at a cookout and an acquaintance was there with her like one- or two-week-old baby. She was showing him off and when she walked over to us, I got giddy and kissed him on the head. OMG WTF was I thinking??? I'm surprised she didn't pull him away. Ugh, dumb.

[cjeanette]

Just last weekend. lol

I was at a family event with H's cousin who has wanted kids for years but her 1st marriage failed and now her FI has grown kids and will prob never be okay with more.

I had to leave event early for a soccer game. She was bummed we were leaving and I told her why and sarcastically said "you know you want my life". She looked hurt and said "Yeah...I do".

Can I blame the wine on that one?

[ivy]

My friend and her husband went to a university that's a rival of the one I went to. The joke is that their university is the back up school to the one I went to (I'm sure this joke isn't just inclusive of these schools). I forget the conversation, but I jokingly asked if the school he went to was his back up, just teasing him. Well joke was on me because it actually was since he didn't get into my school. It was awkward and embarrassing. We were both drinking so maybe he doesn't remember? Ugh.

[scribellesam]

Just after we got married, I was chatting with another newly married couple about our wedding photos. They had done a very scaled back wedding, whereas ours was a big blowout style. They complimented our photos, and then the husband made a joke about how they'd paid very little for theirs and just had a friend do it for a few hundred dollars. I immediately chimed in with, "Well, we could have paid less but I wanted our photos to be good." :-$

We're all still friends but I'm still horrified I said that, six years later.

[ssmjlm]

I'm having a brain fart, but there are probably 1million times I've stuck my foot in my mouth.

I didn't have a very good filter in my 20s.

[Deleted]

"Ooooh, I like Sarah Palin!"

I wouldn't say that now, FWIW.

[genet313]

A friend(ish) from high school got pregnant unexpectedly with her somewhat loser boyfriend at a "young" age for our circle (we were still in college, about to be seniors IIRC). She was a really pretty girl and lots of fun.   Anyway, after she had the baby she, unsurprisingly, had a hard time losing the baby weight.   I told people how shocked I was at how "bad" she looked and said "she could have been a trophy wife, now look at her."  

Clearly my PP body is karma for that horrific statement.  I haven't seen her in years, but I feel really bad about it now.

ETA: spelling

[Deleted]

I worked at a store when I was 19. The woman I worked with was 30 and had been in a relationship for 8-10 years. No ring. I was floored. Why would you stay with him? You know he will never commit.

Fast forward to me being 33!!! And in a 12 year relationship.

[estrellita]

I've said lots of stupid things I've forgotten about, lol. But I'm definitely guilty of bugging people about babies. I know how much that question stings when you're trying and yet it still comes out occasionally! I really try not to ask but sometimes I'm just super excited for my friends to have kids (if they want them that is). I'm sure I've said worse things in my life but this one stuck out.

[gibbinator]

"I'd never open food for my kid in the grocery store before paying for it."

Not sure it's flammable, but certainly unrealistic!

[7costanza]

I once made a comment about how my bf (now H) didn't want to adopt a child from China to a customer at the store I worked at. He was with his two adopted Chinese daughters, and to this day I feel terrible about it. I don't even know why I said it, I had never discussed the possibility with now H!

[chickadee77]

Well, not counting back when I was a teen and still saw the world in black and white and was ultra-conservative in every way because I was brainwashed as a child brought up that way, I think I've done okay lately. 

I do cringe about some of the bullshit that I spouted when I was younger, still. Yikes.

[patbutcher]

Why do kids have to eat all the time? Always with a container of Cheerios or something. I'm not giving my kids constant snacks like that. Lololol

[ryry]

I totally equated finding a dog walker to finding a daycare 8 years ago. I'm mortified that I did that, but I was totally that dog person back then.

<--Hangs head in shame.

[yourmother]

My niece was a newborn and everyone was holding her and passing her around. When my turn came, I was holding a glass of wine and said I wasn't interested in hoody her because I would rather finish my glass of wine. I think that was the beginning of things going off the rails for me and the inlaws...lol!

FYI - I'm totally cool with my inlaws now.

[humpforfree]

I grew up super sheltered and I was very naive and unaware of other cultures, races, etc. I parroted back some things that I had no idea were offensive or inappropriate in various situations. Omg I am so ashamed still to this day, now that I know, and hope I didn't seriously offend anyone. I really hope people knew I didn't have bad intentions.