Destination wedding ?'s

[Deleted]

Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?

I am going to be planning one of these and I've never attended one, so I don't know what I should be aware of!

[TR]

Apr 15, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding? I was excited to attend because a) they were my best friends and b) I had never been to Costa Rica before

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)? Well, this is a unique situation because the b&g actually let XH and I share their 2 bedroom casita because we otherwise couldn't afford the trip (XH was unemployed at the time) and they really wanted us there. For others, I think the rooms were a 10% or 20% discount.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual? We had activities the day before like zip-lining and the boys went surfing. Then day of there was a ceremony at a church, cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing on the beach at the hotel. It was pretty fancy. I think there were about 20 people total?

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently? I loved that I got to see a place I may not have otherwise. The traveling was hard, we had to fly from SC to NJ to catch the flight to CR with everyone because we had to be able to get on the van going to the hotel with everyone which was a 3 hr ride from the airport. But they really had everything planned out REALLY well, the traveling was hard and long (twss) but they handled the logistics and we didn't have to do or think much about it.

I am going to be planning one of these and I've never attended one, so I don't know what I should be aware of!

[jmc325]

We had a destination wedding in Rome and I wouldn't change a thing. Definitely the best decision for us and both sides of the family were very supportive (and excited). A destination wedding isn't for everyone and there are some things I had to compromise on, but overall I am so happy with my decision. It's been almost 3 years and people still talk about how fantastic our wedding was.


Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding? I've never been to a destination wedding, but all of our guests loved the idea of going away for our wedding. We had a 2 year engagement to give everyone adequate time to make plans/ save money. I'll admit my H was hurt that some of his extended family members didn't go, but we both knew going so far away we couldn't EXPECT people to be there.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
We had a travel agent who we referred all of our guests to which made making travel arrangements incredibly easy. We received a discount on the hotel, but I can't remember how much.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual? We had 34 guests (not including H and I) which was a lot more than we anticipated considering how far everyone traveled. A few nights into arriving to Rome we had a dinner with everyone where we gave out goody bags (with a map of Rome, battery operated fan, translation book, etc. and a few wedding itineraries so people would know how things were going to go on the day of). We also gave everyone a ticket for the hop on, hop off double decker bus tour which they really loved. The day before the wedding we had a welcome dinner which was full of amazing food, wine and a DJ. We danced all night long and it was a fun way to move into the wedding the next evening. For our wedding day we had a Catholic church ceremony then afterwards a dinner reception on a rooftop terrace. We wanted to have an Italian style wedding, so the reception was all about the food... it was an 8 course dinner (not to mention the cocktail hour beforehand)! We had a pianist, and music played over the restaurant speakers, but since we had so much dancing at the welcome dinner, we wanted the reception to focus more on food and company.

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently? Honestly, I loved everything about our destination wedding and would do it again. I would recommend travelling to your destination beforehand if you can. I had a wedding planner and my mom and I went to Rome several months prior to the wedding to confirm the church, reception space, meet with the florist/ photographer and I even did a hair/ make-up trial. That's also when I selected the hotel for our travel agent to book. Originally I had selected a different church, but when I saw it in person I didn't like the area it was in (kinda far out). Since we still had plenty of time before the wedding, I was able to contact my wedding planner, get other church options and look at them in person. I'm so, so happy with the church we got married in, so travelling out there beforehand is something I'd definitely recommend if you can swing it.

Sorry, I don't know how to bold my answers!

[ECB]

I"m trying to look at this through the lens of a true DW, but really, with people spread so far and wide, I think traveling to any wedding - even if it's not technically a "DW" - plays a role. But my answers:

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?

The one true DW was to a destination we had never been and we were actually excited.  We used it as an excuse to make it a week long vacation and we went to the Grand Canyon (DW was in Sedona).

But in general, if I either don't have the  money or don't want to use my vacation, then I don't go.  And DH and I have said "no" for this reason (more $$ than anything, though!).  I never feel like I "have" to go to a wedding, especially if we can't afford it.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?

I think we did but this was 13 years ago, I really can't remember.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?

The DW was large.  I can't really recall how big.  But there was a cocktail hour, then dinner, then dancing.  Pretty formal.

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?

What I like about ANY wedding I have to travel to is when we're included in more than JUST the wedding.  EVery wedding we've ever traveled to, they've always had a large rehearsal dinner where all OOT guests were invited.  And it was NOT a "2nd wedding", as so many people seem to be afraid of.  As a guest, it was nice to feel welcomed, to feel that the bride and groom wanted to spend as much time w/ us as possible, and that we were doing more with our time than just the wedding. 

The DW had a whole bunch of activities scheduled that people could sign up for (a few things at their own expense) over a few days.  We didn't partake in most of this, other than the RD.  But I thought it was nice to really try and make the most of everyone's time and to offer a few different activities that people could choose from.

[Deleted]

Apr 15, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding? I was the bride, not a guest so I can't comment. We invited 65 ppl but only 35 RSVP'd and then only 17 made it down (but I still had to pay for 35 and it was a huge waste). It was expensive for many people and they just couldn't afford it. I was married 13 years ago and I can tell you now that I would have done it differently. I realize now that I am older that some of the most important people I really wanted to make it couldn't due to cost and looking back I wish I had that memory to share with them. I definitely wanted a beach wedding and I think I could have gotten the same type of wedding doing it in San Diego instead of Cabo which would have been much easier for guests to travel to.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)? We owned a timeshare at the resort so we didn't get a discount but our guests did get a discount.


3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual? We had 19 total including us. We had the ceremony, cocktail hour and dancing all in the same area on a patio next to the water and it worked out really great. The guests just enjoyed some drinks and apps next to the beach while we did photos and due to the small size of the wedding party, we had tons of photos of everyone.We then had a plated sit down dinner and then had a DJ. It was really relaxed and carefree which was nice.

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently? The best part for me as the bride was showing up with my dress and having everything done. I wrote one check to my wedding planner and everything else was handled. When we got married I had already been a bridesmaid 7 times and was so over long, stressful weddings that I wanted something easy and easy it was. The ceremony, cocktail hour and reception were held on a series of patios next to the beach so guests didn't have to travel around and there was very little down time. We did an hour of photos after the sundown ceremony right on the beach in front of the guests and that was it. We asked many guests to join us for photos and we all had a great time.

The biggest hassle was nothing ran on time. We got married in Mexico and everything took "a mexican minute" which means basically it will happen on their schedule, not yours. I also only planned one event for everyone (hosted dinner in town with transportation provided) and then gave wedding guests a list of things to do with negotiated discounts with companies. I figured this was a vacation for many of them and they would want to do their own thing. Many guests told me they appreciated not being super scheduled and knowledge of things to do with discounts.

I am going to be planning one of these and I've never attended one, so I don't know what I should be aware of!

[panicfoot]

Apr 15, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?

I am going to be planning one of these and I've never attended one, so I don't know what I should be aware of!

I was married in Punta Cana, DR and am attending my brother's wedding in Mexico in a few months.

1. I am excited to attend. We never take vacations so "having" to get away, we are going to make the most of it.
2. At our wedding, there was no discount on the rooms. I don't believe there is a discount for the wedding we will be attending either and that is a very large, $$$ wedding.
3. My ceremony was VERY informal and small, only 12 ppl total. We had a quick ceremony, then champagne, then dinner. We all partied together afterward.
4. I loved every bit of it and wouldn't change a thing. I didn't have to plan anything. We went through destination weddings dot com. I think my brother is going through beach bum vacations dot com and they offer the same service. They planned our trip and that of our guests. The resort had a wedding planner. Our wedding was free because we booked for a week and had the minimum number of guests. Literally the only thing I had to do was bring a CD of the songs I wanted. The only hassle I guess was bringing the guests' gifts. In hindsight, I should have delivered or shipped them before. We did beach totes with beach towels, sun screen, bugspray, flip flops, etc.

[Deleted]

Apr 15, 2016 13:26:50 GMT -5 panicfoot said:

Apr 15, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?

I am going to be planning one of these and I've never attended one, so I don't know what I should be aware of!

I was married in Punta Cana, DR and am attending my brother's wedding in Mexico in a few months.

1. I am excited to attend. We never take vacations so "having" to get away, we are going to make the most of it.
2. At our wedding, there was no discount on the rooms. I don't believe there is a discount for the wedding we will be attending either and that is a very large, $$$ wedding.
3. My ceremony was VERY informal and small, only 12 ppl total. We had a quick ceremony, then champagne, then dinner. We all partied together afterward.
4. I loved every bit of it and wouldn't change a thing. I didn't have to plan anything. We went through destination weddings dot com. I think my brother is going through beach bum vacations dot com and they offer the same service. They planned our trip and that of our guests. The resort had a wedding planner. Our wedding was free because we booked for a week and had the minimum number of guests. Literally the only thing I had to do was bring a CD of the songs I wanted. The only hassle I guess was bringing the guests' gifts. In hindsight, I should have delivered or shipped them before. We did beach totes with beach towels, sun screen, bugspray, flip flops, etc.

Was your dinner a formal plated dinner, or did the 12 of you just go to one of the on-site restaurants and sit together and order off the menu? Where was dancing - was it a DJ or did you go to a bar/club on the resort afterward?

We want something very casual and simple, but I'm nervous it's not "enough" for people attending. Tell me that's not a legitimate worry?

[konapoppy]

Did I miss (or forget) an announcement??? Congrats!

[Deleted]

Apr 15, 2016 13:31:41 GMT -5 konapoppy said:

Did I miss (or forget) an announcement??? Congrats!

Nope I haven't really said anything lol. But yep - getting married in 2017  <)

[glitzyglow]

The destination wedding I attended was in the Smokies. Most people drove from long-to-medium distances to get there.

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
    It was my close friend, so I was very excited about attending.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
    They rented a shared cabin for their guests (it was a 10-bedroom cabin with two additional nooks for sleeping). They paid for us all to stay there 2     nights/3 days. People who stayed in the area rented cabins on their own afterward.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
    Maybe 30-40 people total, small wedding ceremony but very intimate (room with a window wall that overlooked the mountains, candlelight, music). The reception was at a local restaurant where we all ordered our own dinners and they had the cake cutting. Then we all went back to the cabin and drank, had music going, played games, used the hot tubs, hung out by the fire places...kind of like a house party, but it was way more awesome because we all kind of knew each other by that point and we were celebrating the couple.

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?
    I loved the intimacy of it so much that I plan for my next wedding to be small. I didn't find it a hassle at all. I did not extend my trip beyond the wedding, but others did and were excited.

[joy]

We had a destination wedding in Bermuda!!

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?  As a guest, I appreciate my money being respected.  Give a variety of hotels - don't insist on a particular one - and don't insist on what days people should be there "for the wedding."  Let them vacation in addition to traveling.  We planned only the wedding day and the rest was much more free.  One morning, a group wanted to go to Hamilton for the day while others went off hiking, horseback riding or sat on the beach.  Whatever.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)? We planned our wedding in Bermuda. We tried to make it easy for your guests with a variety of options.

We ensured that flying + hotel or cruising were options. We planned the wedding on a Thursday night so people could cruise (for far less) than flying and staying in a hotel. If you wanted to fly, we offered a list of hotels in a variety of prices. Bermuda is small - we encouraged people to stay wherever they wanted on the island. There was no pressure to stay at the wedding hotel AT ALL. The wedding hotel was also not an all-inclusive so it cost nothing for them to come to the property.

Other than that, sadly no discounts to anyone in the wedding.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual? We had 12 people (parents, siblings + spouses). We did ceremony, cocktail hour (during pictures) then dinner on the beach. Afterwards, we went to the hotel bar and danced with the live band that happened to be there on a Thursday night.

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently? It was so easy to plan. We just asked the coordinator to pick florist, make up artist, and hair person. She gave me two options for photographer and I picked one. She sent us a list of food and wine and available and we constructed our own menu. They also set up for me to get my dress steamed once arriving and arranged for flowers to be placed in our parents' room before they arrived as it was Mother's Day that weekend.

I spent a lot of time being very stressed about asking too much of our guests.  We really tried to offer cheap options, let people make whatever they wanted of their time there, and were VERY understanding if someone said they couldn't make it.  We really tried. 

[preppy]

Apr 15, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

We had a destination wedding so I am answering as the planner not as a guest:)

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding? I think people were excited? People still tell us about how much fun it was so I think people had a great time. 
2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)? Guests who stayed at the hotel where the wedding took place got a discounted rate. That hotel was $$ though so we had a long list of recommendations for hotels and home rentals in the area that could fit a variety of budgets.
3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual? We had 80 people attend. We did ceremony on the beach, then transported guests to the hotel and did cocktail hour and dinner/dancing at the hotel on their pier. We additionally hosted a welcome party, bar crawl (only hosted first two stops), a rehearsal dinner, and after party. We wanted to ensure we hosted something for most of the days that guests would be there. It was super fun and I felt like our wedding lasted a week instead of one day. 
4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently? I loved spending a whole week with friends and family. I didn't feel pressure to talk to every table and person during the reception as I had spent all week with my guests. We were understanding about those who were unable to attend, and you can't take it personally at all. Some people chose not to attend and that was totally fine. I was surprised at how many people did end up attending. It was great, I wouldn't have changed a thing about it 5 years later. Our wedding was in Key West at the Ocean Key Resort and Spa on their sunset pier. I HIGHLY recommend it if you are looking for a domestic DW. 

I am going to be planning one of these and I've never attended one, so I don't know what I should be aware of!

[panicfoot]

Apr 15, 2016 13:29:39 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Apr 15, 2016 13:26:50 GMT -5 panicfoot said:

I was married in Punta Cana, DR and am attending my brother's wedding in Mexico in a few months.

1. I am excited to attend. We never take vacations so "having" to get away, we are going to make the most of it.
2. At our wedding, there was no discount on the rooms. I don't believe there is a discount for the wedding we will be attending either and that is a very large, $$$ wedding.
3. My ceremony was VERY informal and small, only 12 ppl total. We had a quick ceremony, then champagne, then dinner. We all partied together afterward.
4. I loved every bit of it and wouldn't change a thing. I didn't have to plan anything. We went through destination weddings dot com. I think my brother is going through beach bum vacations dot com and they offer the same service. They planned our trip and that of our guests. The resort had a wedding planner. Our wedding was free because we booked for a week and had the minimum number of guests. Literally the only thing I had to do was bring a CD of the songs I wanted. The only hassle I guess was bringing the guests' gifts. In hindsight, I should have delivered or shipped them before. We did beach totes with beach towels, sun screen, bugspray, flip flops, etc.

Was your dinner a formal plated dinner, or did the 12 of you just go to one of the on-site restaurants and sit together and order off the menu? Where was dancing - was it a DJ or did you go to a bar/club on the resort afterward?

We want something very casual and simple, but I'm nervous it's not "enough" for people attending. Tell me that's not a legitimate worry?

It was at one of the restaurants there, but they had a reserved section off to the side for us and decorated the table. We ordered off the special wedding menu. We just went to a bar afterward, but everyone that went was really close friends and family. I think they liked the relaxed nature of it We danced and laughed and had a wonderful time. Either way, that's what I wanted and if that's what you want, do it!! I think people liked the opportunity to get away and have a fun, relaxing vacation! 

[bronxgirl]

I've never been to one, but congratulations on your upcoming marriage!!!!!!

[IrishBelle]

I've never been to a destination wedding so no advice to offer but congratulations to you!

[kadams767]

Congratulations!!

[hocus2]

Apr 15, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
I've never attended a true "destination wedding" which I consider an out of country type thing. I've never minded traveling out of state for a wedding as long as I've been given heads up so I could plan accordingly. I am not going to a wedding next month because it is an 11 hour flight to a destination I don't wish to ever go to. The wedding is being set up a multi-day event which also irritates me. It is sad that I can't go, because this was once a very close friend, but it is just a huge ask for all the guess IMO. It is also in during the school year so even if I went DH would have had to stay home.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
I did a room block for my wedding for out of state guests. We also sent a long note about how to get to places and might have mentioned things to do in the area.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
We had about 150 folks. We had a ceremony and then a fairly conventional US wedding with a cocktail hour, dinner, dancing and dessert/cake. 

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?

If you're talking about an out of state wedding I think the best things to do are:

1. save the dates ~6 months out
2. Hotel block, possible at 2 hotels if the closest is very expensive
3. A small goodies bag at the hotel which snacks, water, information of thigns to do if they come early or stay past the wedding
4. Possibly host a brunch after the wedding or a lunch before for OOT so you can spend more time with them. I don't think this needs to be fancy. A pizza party, taco party or bagel brunch is fine IMO. It is about spending time with folks. 

For an out of country wedding I think the key frankly is go keep it small, give extensive notice (6 months to year), accept that many many folks won't be able to attend and don't make it a week long event. Some people will probably make it a vacation but some folks will certainly fly in and then right back out.

[KKD]

Congratulations, and happy planning!

I've been to two sort-of destination weddings, my brother's in Sonoma and a friend's in Newport, RI, and we have another friend's wedding in Bermuda this summer.

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding? We love to travel so we are always excited for another excuse to do so. Money was more of a concern in our 20s; now the bigger issue is babysitters. For my brother's wedding, I know money and kids were the main reasons some guests couldn't attend, and my brother and SIL expected that (and may have actually been glad to have fewer guests for a more intimate feel), but most of their family and friends were able to attend.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)? For the upcoming Bermuda wedding, rooms are discounted around 60% which makes a big difference. I don't remember the hotel options in Sonoma or Newport; in Sonoma, our family and the bride's family stayed at the B&B where they had the reception, and in Newport, we were young and poor and shared a cheap but convenient hotel suite with three friends.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual? I think the Sonoma and Newport weddings each had around 100 guests. Both were more like traditional weddings with seated dinner and dancing, but the locations made such an impression. In Sonoma, they had a church wedding followed by a cocktail hour and reception outside on the B&B property. For the reception, they had two long tables instead of a bunch of round tables and a dance floor set up on one side. In Newport, the ceremony and reception were at the same location; the ceremony was outdoors overlooking the ocean and followed immediately by the cocktail hour, then the reception was held inside. eta: For my brother's wedding, we had the rehearsal dinner the night beforehand but no other group activities. The Bermuda wedding is having a "welcome reception" the night beforehand; they are also having a reception back at home the weekend prior. 

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently? Those two weddings were my favorite weddings aside from my own. I loved that they were so different from all of the other local weddings we've attended. The outdoor settings were beautiful, and all of the details were perfect too. If I were getting married now, I'd seriously consider a destination wedding because I think they're often more memorable.

[sakoro]

I attended a destination wedding in Summer 2011 in Jackson Hole, WY. The wedding was at the ski resort area in the off-season. The b&g and their families hosted a casual rehearsal dinner on Friday night, semi-formal wedding on Saturday night and brunch on Sunday morning. There were about 75 guests with the majority from California but others from Florida, Seattle and Israel.

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
I had just moved back to California from the East Coast and was working on contract so money was tight. I was excited about seeing Jackson Hole and exploring Yellowstone. Fortunately, I was able to split a room 4 ways with a high school friend and 2 other people, otherwise it wouldn't have been feasible.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
I don't think so. The 4 of us went in on a room together and picked the cheapest/ furthest away option. It was still expensive even though summer is the off-season in Jackson Hole.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
75 guests (approximately)
Friday night: Casual barbeque. There were ice-breaker games so that the guests could get to know each other.
Saturday night: Took gondola up to top of the mountain. Ceremony on restaurant patio in late afternoon overlooking the sunset. Brief cocktail "hour". Semi-formal dinner. I recall the meal choices were bison or trout. There was dancing and someone did a nude streak!
Sunday morning: Fancy brunch buffet at hotel restaurant

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?
Liked:

• It was in the continental United States and during an off-season (although Jackson Hole is never exactly cheap).
  
• B&G did a simple welcome bag with schedule, map, several bottles of water, & local candy. (Basics are great, no need to go way overboard with snacks or hygiene items-- we are adults!)
• Wyoming is an interesting state that most guests had always wanted to visit, but never had a chance
• They hosted 3 meals, but there were no other activities scheduled (everyone was free to explore and do as much or as little outdoorsy stuff as they wanted)
• B&G analyzed the different options to get to Jackson Hole from California and posted it on the website so people could see and compare (driving, flying to Denver and getting a car, flying directly into Jackson Hole)

Could have been handled differently:

• It would have been nice to have a online message board or private facebook group. That way guests who didn't already know each other could have partnered with other guests to rent the bigger guest houses, split rental cars etc without bothering the bride and groom
• It would have been nice to have more information about how far the resort was from the airport/ general lay of the land.

[andwhat]

Apr 15, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding? I was the bride, but we had 48 people come to the wedding and everyone who came had a good time. We did have some people who were pissed about it. We had a list of must-have people and if one of them couldn't come we weren't going to do it.
2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)? There was a group rate for all guests
3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual? There was a welcome dinner (1-2 days before the wedding (can't remember probably the day before), ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, and reception/dancing. All were private on the resort
4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently? So much cheaper than a wedding at home. Everyone loved it and we got a lot of requests that we all go back for a big 1 year party (didn't happen). People go into a destination wedding thinking you don't have to do anything, but it was still a lot of work. I really wanted to make the guests feel special and show how much we appreciated them for traveling to our wedding.

I am going to be planning one of these and I've never attended one, so I don't know what I should be aware of!

[pinkskirts]

Longtime lurker here and I wouldn't normally respond, but maybe I feel like I have to get my own destination wedding frustrations off my chest.

First of all, congratulations!  I'm sure your wedding will be wonderful.  None of my fury is directed at you, I promise.  

1.  Excited or upset:  I've been to two destination weddings and am about to attend my third.  I live in California.  The first was in South America for DH's best friend and was before we had kids.  The second was in Hawaii for another of DH's friends and we took the kids.  The third is in the Caribbean this summer for my sister.  And really, we enjoyed the destination weddings and they are all lovely and blah blah blah.  But I feel resentful.  I love to travel.  LOVE.  And I always hear "well you can turn it in to a chance to see X country".  But the problem with that is I want to travel where I want to travel not where the bride and groom want to travel.  And I want to stay where I want to stay.  Etc.  I just feel like every time I get roped into one of these things I end up feeling like the vacation I really wanted to take is now delayed another year.  I am aware of the choice we are making on vacation versus supporting people and we have said no to several other destination weddings, so I am happy with the burden of our choice.  But that doesn't mean that I don't grit my teeth when I am told what a great opportunity it is for me!  No.  It is an obligation and you are lucky I chose to travel to see you.  And I HATE hearing brides and grooms griping about the people who couldn't attend.  Depending on the financial particulars (i.e. if the bride and groom are paying your entire way, etc.) I feel like the bride and groom own all the responsibility for people who could not attend.  Oh and stop giving me crap about why I am not attending the dinner cruise and the bike ride, etc. that you specially planned for all the guests while we are there.  We have kids and are flying across the country for you.  We can't afford anything else.  Get off my back.

2.  Discount:  for two, the answer is no.  For one wedding, yes.

3.  Wedding:  one was very small and was a small ceremony with dinner afterwards just like you would go over to someone's house for dinner.  The other two were/are complete, formal weddings with the whole shebang at about 50 people each. 

4.  Like/dislike:  I like when the wedding successfully incorporates elements of the destination into the wedding.  I.e. I love ridiculous mixed tropical drinks being served at the cocktail hour.  Oh and I feel like the fish is always better at destination weddings on islands.  I am driven to insanity by the changing plans.  I.e. Book X flight and then two weeks later they change flights and now I should come in on Y flight.  Too bad - I already booked X and I have no desire to get back on the phone and re-book all that shit.  Get your act together before you start sending out those emails with tasks and plans.

[starryfish]

joy has some excellent advice. My BFF from HS had here in Turks and Caicos at the beaches resort. I didn't attend bc for just me for 4 days would have cost me around $3k. The beaches resort was $$$$ and it wasn't on the same island as the cruises dock at. I would have done it if it was a cruise for sure (either cruise wedding or wedding at one of the ports like joy did). I wasn't willing to spend that much money for her wedding. No regrets.

[StephaniePlum]

We had a very small wedding and rented a villa with 5 bedrooms. We hired someone in Jamaica to be the "planner" which mostly consisted of getting the license for us and someone who could legally marry us. The house staff at the villa went all out and we had fabulous food and a beautiful backdrop. My family/ friends loved it. Everyone at home seems to have understood. We did have a party back home to celebrate, but in retrospect, I would skip that part.

Overall, it was so relaxing and fun- I highly recommend!

Congrats!!!!

[wise_rita]

@buckybells I'm riding your coattails because I'll be planning a destination wedding in 2017, too. Please don't make me go to the Knot for info.

TR @littlemoxie Where in Costa Rica did you go? That's where I'm feeling at the moment.

[starryfish]

Oh and congrats about your engagement!!!!!! :-)

[Deleted]

Apr 15, 2016 21:04:51 GMT -5 wise_rita said:

@buckybells I'm riding your coattails because I'll be planning a destination wedding in 2017, too. Please don't make me go to the Knot for info.

TR @littlemoxie Where in Costa Rica did you go? That's where I'm feeling at the moment.

Congratulations!!!

Don't go to the Knot lol. I made that mistake earlier this week. It's about the same as it was when I got married 7 years ago....but I'm 7 years older and on a second marriage, so it seems so ridiculous!!!

[jlt19]

Apr 15, 2016 12:22:22 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Can I ask a few questions about destination weddings you've attended or hosted?

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?

I am going to be planning one of these and I've never attended one, so I don't know what I should be aware of!

1. I was excited to attend because I probably never would have gone to Costa Rica on my own.
2.They had a deal, but Costco travel was cheaper.
3.Ceremony, cocktail hour, formal dinner and dancing. 30ish people.
4.I liked getting to spend more time with the bride and her other friends/family. Everyone fot to relax for a few days together. Nothing was a hassle, it was really well done.

I also did a DW in Vegas, but that is sooo different than a DW at an all inclusive. Most everyone did their own thing at ours. We had a ceremony then a shuttle to a dinner and open bar. No dancing though.

[jlt19]

Apr 15, 2016 21:04:51 GMT -5 wise_rita said:

@buckybells I'm riding your coattails because I'll be planning a destination wedding in 2017, too. Please don't make me go to the Knot for info.

TR @littlemoxie Where in Costa Rica did you go? That's where I'm feeling at the moment.

I know you didn't ask me, but my friend's wedding was at Dreams Las Mareas.

[Sloane]

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
We did our wedding in Vegas. I think everyone was excited to come, we certainly didn't expect the turnout we had and it made for a great weekend.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
We got a discount at Mandalay Bay for our guests, but some elected to stay at different hotels due to budgets, or deals or preferences.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
We invited 30 people and had 28 show up, including my cousins as a surprise which made my weekend. We hosted a rehearsal dinner on the Friday night, Saturday was our wedding, along with a shuttle to and from dinner, the next day we rented a few Cabanas for anyone that wanted to join us.

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently? We liked that it was Vegas, it was convenient for us given that we'd lived in two provinces in Canada and in the US so anywhere we had a wedding was going to be a destination for some. It was mostly convenient for the guests because a weekend in Vegas was far less work or money than a week away at an all-inclusive somewhere. We also liked that we could visit and plan ahead relatively easily. The planning was pretty painless, but we weren't overly uptight about anything. I do wish we had hired a better photographer.

[alleinesein]

I followed you over here after your post of MM  My answers will be in 2 parts.

My wedding was sorta destination.  I got married about 70 miles away from home but every single guest had to travel to my wedding and it was a weekend event.

I've been to one destination wedding in Baja (in the span of 2 months I went to the wedding in Baja, a wedding in Spain and a wedding in Iowa...needless to say I was sick of traveling to weddings by the time June rolled around!)

1. As a guest, were you excited to attend or did you feel upset that you had to spend your vacation time/money on a wedding?
The wedding in Baja was a 'family event' and no vacation time was wasted since we drove down on a Friday afternoon and came home on Sunday morning.  The entire weekend was a bit of a train wreck and XH (FI at the time) was supposed to fly in for the wedding but got stuck in Mexico City so he bailed on me.

2. Did you get any sort of discount on your room due to it being part of a wedding (as a guest/for your guests)?
 For the Baja wedding the bride effed up and didn't block off enough rooms at the hotel where she got married.  A few of us had to stay at another hotel about 15 minutes away.  The discount on the rooms she did block off was minimal.
For my wedding we blocked off a decent amount of rooms and the discount was around $30-$40 less than the lowest rate at the hotel since we reserved our group block a year in advance.  I did get part of my wedding night hotel room comped; we upgraded to a suite so they gave us a discount on the room for the night of the wedding.  If we had stayed in a standard room it would have been included in the ceremony price.  The hotel also gave us a decent discount on upgrades to junior suites and presidential suites.

3. What did the wedding consist of and how many people were there? Ceremony/cocktail hour/formal dinner/dancing, or something simpler or more casual?
  Baja wedding was the ceremony, dinner, dancing, etc.  I think there were about 200 people mostly on the grooms side.  There was supposed to be a cocktail hour but the groomsmen didn't pass out drink tickets to guests because they were all drunk before the ceremony even began. RE: drink tickets...the package they booked included a set amount of drinks per person and it was more than sufficient for a normal person (4 drinks for a 3 hour event) but the groomsmen horded them so most of the bride's guests didn't get anything except for the champagne toast.
My wedding had 100 rsvp but only 90 showed up (damn you SoCal fires and evacuations!!).  We did the rehearsal dinner on Friday, an informal bride's family dinner on Saturday, girls spa day on Saturday, birthday brunch (dad, XSIL and a friend all had their birthday on my wedding day) the morning of the wedding.  The standard ceremony followed by cocktail hour, formal dinner, dancing, etc.

4. What did you like best about the destination wedding? What did you find a hassle or wish was handled differently?

Baja wedding- the only good thing was that I got to hang out with my Canada 'mom' and drink lots of Sangria.  Biggest hassle was crossing the border back into the US- it took 4 hours on a Sunday morning to get through the border checkpoint.  The wedding itself was a disaster and the bride almost didn't walk down the aisle and the entire wedding party was falling down drunk by the time the ceremony started.  
My wedding- my two biggest issues were the weather (which I had no control over) and the people who couldn't be bothered to show up.  It was nice having everything at one location and only having to deal with one person to coordinate all of the major stuff.  My on site wedding coordinator took care of everything and the only major crisis was over the color of the rose petals for the aisle; she panicked because the florist only had red ones and my response was "I though they were supposed to be red!".  Crisis averted!  The only thing I wish I had done differently was pick a better groom!