SPICE THIS PLACE UP!

[jojoandleo]

Put whatever you want here! Anything! Confessions, flamefuls, randoms, clap backs to posters you dislike, questions you have for posters you want to follow up on, everything!

Random/possibly flameful:  One of my best friends is annoying me a bit right now.  She is planning her GF's birthday and is annoyed the bowling alley makes you pay in advance because she "doesn't trust people to pay her back" and brought up "no one paid us back for PR." First-she bought groceries in PR. 75% of the people in the house bought groceries and/or $100 worth of alcohol for the house to share. We all just figured it evened out. If anyone owed her anything, it was maybe $10. Like, come on. Second: when you HOST a party, you have to do it not expecting other people to pay for it! If you can't afford the expense, then host a house party or something you don't have to pay ahead for.  Mainly I am annoyed she is holding on to not getting paid back for PR groceries.  I offered to pay for them when she and I went to the store (and instead I paid for the alcohol) and SHE said no.  So, that's on you, boo.

Questions: bl -how is it going with the BF?  Weren't you all discussing a move to Dallas?  Or am I making that up?  And if you DO move to Dallas, we should SOOOOO meet up next time I go!  (Hopefully Halloween).  jigsy -how are you doing?  What did you do with your gift for Vegas?  glynn how was your date with your friend after your divorced was finalized?  itsmyparty -how are you doing?  How is the move?  Are you still feeling a bit overwhelmed?

[jigsy]

I am so annoyed with people and their inability to plan/host parties correctly! LOL. Please see bitching over on the ML Tuesday randoms thread. What is making me more irritated is that I am also planning my birthday party, which will be kick ass, and I am paying for it, because that is what you do. I am not going to get little matching hats and bags and expect people to pay for them because I want it...ugh.

Vegas' gift....I ended up sending it to him. I actually text him about it before, because I didn't want it to come off weird, so I explained the situation. He offered to pay for it, and i felt less bad about it because he was actually planning on buying some sort of ticket to visit the park with his little cousins, so yeah. I know not everyone would agree with talking to him, but I actually feel really good about it. I am not wondering what to do - it's done. That last little piece of our relationship that I had planned is dealt with.

ETA: Now that I let the cat out of the bag to a certain person who will read this at some point, I actually also saw Vegas yesterday. He received my card, and texted to thank me, I was already at Universal because I am a nut who will take whatever opportunity to grab a butterbeer and I was in the area. So we met up and had a fun day. Caught up and all that jazz. It didn't feel weird and it didn't feel like something was missing. At this point, I don't know if we will see eachother again, it's not something I will pursue, but I can't say that if he reached out, I would turn him down. Not a popular move, I am sure, but eh.

[Deleted]

The new guy I'm dating isn't very umm shall we say well-endowed? But I actually realized that I kind of like it?

Also I just really like this guy a lot and I'm excited to get to know him better.

[pinkdutchtulips]

BF has been talking in 'we's lately which makes me giddy and terrifies me at the same time .... one of the things he mentioned was kids. I wouldn't be opposed to one, advanced maternal age be damned !

[bg]

I'm getting more and more annoyed about how long it's taking for my divorce to be finalized. Once my lawyer submitted everything he said it would be a few weeks and it's been way more than that. I just want it done!

Also, watching an episode of the unbreakable kimmy schmidt made me cry last night because she couldn't get angry and I feel similar. (Yes, I'm in therapy!)

[pinkdutchtulips]

Apr 19, 2016 12:27:14 GMT -5 bg said:

I'm getting more and more annoyed about how long it's taking for my divorce to be finalized. Once my lawyer submitted everything he said it would be a few weeks and it's been way more than that. I just want it done!

Also, watching an episode of the unbreakable kimmy schmidt made me cry last night because she couldn't get angry and I feel similar. (Yes, I'm in therapy!)

mine's taking forever too and it's a default judgment ! Bc I'm pro per the court thinks I'm stupid and every 3 months keeps asking for a new document or supporting document. Pisses me off, pisses my mom off too bc she'd love to see this over too. she seems to think that bc I work in law I've got 'connections' at the court to get this pushed through ... Umm no mom, I do civil not family. Then again, she had the benefit of a lawyer (thx to her parents).

[glitzyglow]

jojoandleo, I think bl had mentioned her bf moving to Florida...maybe this summer?

Mine is a downer: I'm terrified I have cervical cancer. When I google my symptoms, of course that comes up first. I know I shouldn't google, but I'm scared. The doctor is seeing me tomorrow at 3:30pm, possibly today if someone cancels. My abnormal pap smear was in November and my coloscopy came back non-cancerous, but I've randomly bled twice since then (February and this past Saturday. I thought Saturday was my period, but it turns out it wasn't, ugh) so I'm scared the cells have changed. I've felt off this week anyway, thinking it was an ovarian cyst, but now I think I was wrong. Please please please please be nothing.

[doglove]

glitzyglow it could just be an age thing. I started spotting a lot in between periods after I turned 30. Sending good juju your way.

I redownloaded OkCupid and the first guy I saw on there was a dude I dated a few months ago and that has continued to contact me because I was so "nice." Ugh, my instinct was to delete it, but I really don't want some dude with lots of emotional problems to dictate whether I am on the program or not. I get so exhausted by these programs though.

[glitzyglow]

Thanks doglove, my coworker just said almost the same thing to me, so I hope you all are correct and I'm not! And I get you on the apps; as if they aren't frustrating enough, some weirdo can even mess that up for us. I deleted Tinder after that crazy guy contacted me against my wishes and I'm hesitant to download it again because I'm sure he's on there, but it pisses me off that I'm afraid to do something because of him and his inappropriate behaviors/actions.

[bg]

Apr 19, 2016 12:42:44 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Apr 19, 2016 12:27:14 GMT -5 bg said:

I'm getting more and more annoyed about how long it's taking for my divorce to be finalized. Once my lawyer submitted everything he said it would be a few weeks and it's been way more than that. I just want it done!

mine's taking forever too and it's a default judgment ! Bc I'm pro per the court thinks I'm stupid and every 3 months keeps asking for a new document or supporting document. Pisses me off, pisses my mom off too bc she'd love to see this over too. she seems to think that bc I work in law I've got 'connections' at the court to get this pushed through ... Umm no mom, I do civil not family. Then again, she had the benefit of a lawyer (thx to her parents).

I hope we both hear something soon!

[bl]

jojoandleo yes the bf is looking into moving to Orlando. He has applied for a transfer to the plant that is about an hour away from Orlando (he says he won't mind an hour commute). He had his interview with the plant manager a little over a week ago and we are still waiting to hear back. I hope we hear something soon, just so we know either way. If that doesn't pan out then we will start looking at other jobs around July/Aug.

Overall things are going very well. We have a week long vacation coming up in two weeks that I am super happy about and he just makes me really happy, but I can't say I won't be scared to go from not living in the same city to moving in together.

I am back in Dallas at least once a quarter for work related things and can usually tack on some personal time, so def keep me in the loop when you're scheduled to be in town!

glitzyglow I will keep all my fingers crossed for you, hopefully it is nothing, but doesn't mean it's any less scary.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Apr 19, 2016 13:31:22 GMT -5 bg said:

Apr 19, 2016 12:42:44 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

mine's taking forever too and it's a default judgment ! Bc I'm pro per the court thinks I'm stupid and every 3 months keeps asking for a new document or supporting document. Pisses me off, pisses my mom off too bc she'd love to see this over too. she seems to think that bc I work in law I've got 'connections' at the court to get this pushed through ... Umm no mom, I do civil not family. Then again, she had the benefit of a lawyer (thx to her parents).

I hope we both hear something soon!

you would think w 2 protective orders in place (one containing a custody order) and me not seeking alimony or child support w no assets to split it would be over in no time flat !! Haaaa haaaa !! Grrr

[Deleted]

Apr 19, 2016 13:37:15 GMT -5 bl said:

jojoandleo yes the bf is looking into moving to Orlando. He has applied for a transfer to the plant that is about an hour away from Orlando (he says he won't mind an hour commute). He had his interview with the plant manager a little over a week ago and we are still waiting to hear back. I hope we hear something soon, just so we know either way. If that doesn't pan out then we will start looking at other jobs around July/Aug.

If he works in baked goods, I might know this place and have an "in" with the manager.

[glynn]

My date when Ok after it had started out bad. He was out of town that day helping his daughter who just lost a baby which was good for him to do. He was suppose to be back before 5PM but did not get back until 7PM. Can't be mad at him but was a little sad. After I talked to him he said go ahead to the gym like I normally do, so I went. Class is suppose to start at 5:30PM and the teacher was still going through warm-ups with the new people at 6:10PM. I left because the workout was super long and I sill wanted to try to meet-up after class for my date. I showered and we meet at 7PM to go eat and drink. I have not drank in over 3 years so I was buzzed before I finished my drink. We talked and hung-out until 9PM.

We are going to try again tomorrow night. We may go out of town this weekend or hang out on his boat.

We have been friends for 15 years. We dated years ago so I don't really know how things are going to be. We are great friends though so that is something.

[jojoandleo]

glitzyglow-Good thoughts for you! I have never had a regular period ever in my life. Mirena was my saving grace with the no period thing. It is not fun being 30 and still having a surprise period. Ugh.

doglove-ugh, I hate that some men can't just respect your choices. Like, If I am not that into you, continuing to call won't change that! And continuing to annoy me show a lack of respect.

bl-I don't know why I thought it was the opposite. My friends and I are talking about doing Dallas for Halloween, but these are my flaky friends, so we will see.

glynn-man, delays suck. I am glad you had fun, though.

[doglove]

You have no idea about this dude jojoandleo, he was (is?) a full on mess. I rejected him 5 times total and he kept coming back for more and busted out with the "maybe we can just have sex?" at the end. No, dude - what is wrong with you. Why haven't you gotten the message after the 5th time? Dude has so many problems too, I feel sorry for anyone that goes out with him. All he kept talking about was all his old gf and ex-wife and how he was so wronged by all of them and didn't want to get his heart broken.

I really, really dislike the victim mentality. And sadly, it's rampant out there in the dating scene. I do not want to fix you, I do not want to feel sorry for you, I want you to be a mature and grown a$$ man with your mess together.

[1confused1]

I have to go to court tomorrow morning to try and fight for the court not to take away child support  

[jojoandleo]

doglove-wow...no. Like, why would he want to badger you into a date?

[bl]

@bigtowlittletoe he is currently in more of a beverage type facility, but has worked in foods before. He knows how to run pretty much any machine out there, so I may reach out if we don't hear from the current prospect.

1confused1 fingers crossed for you!

[doglove]

Apr 19, 2016 14:43:47 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

doglove -wow...no. Like, why would he want to badger you into a date?

Major issues. MAJOR. 

[doriswe]

Apr 19, 2016 14:41:07 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I have to go to court tomorrow morning to try and fight for the court not to take away child support  

How is that even an option?? I hate your XH

[doglove]

Apr 19, 2016 14:41:07 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I have to go to court tomorrow morning to try and fight for the court not to take away child support  

Ugh wtf?

[1confused1]

Apr 19, 2016 15:05:21 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Apr 19, 2016 14:41:07 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I have to go to court tomorrow morning to try and fight for the court not to take away child support  

How is that even an option?? I hate your XH

I hate him too.  I have my child support case with the state agency that collects it, he is now collecting some sort of state aid (welfare or something) and that automatically requires a cs review in the court.  They can set it to zero until he is off of the aid or gets a job.  It's a bunch of bullshit and I am so tired of dealing with all of this.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Apr 19, 2016 15:05:21 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Apr 19, 2016 14:41:07 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I have to go to court tomorrow morning to try and fight for the court not to take away child support  

How is that even an option?? I hate your XH

if he's on state assistance they can suspend it. This was one of the many reasons why I did NOT pursue child support from xh.

[glynn]

Apr 19, 2016 15:18:02 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Apr 19, 2016 15:05:21 GMT -5 doriswe said:

How is that even an option?? I hate your XH

I hate him too.  I have my child support case with the state agency that collects it, he is now collecting some sort of state aid (welfare or something) and that automatically requires a cs review in the court.  They can set it to zero until he is off of the aid or gets a job.  It's a bunch of bullshit and I am so tired of dealing with all of this.

So sorry. Years ago XH voluntarly went quit his job and I still got something. Like $50 for 2 kids... Here they set it at mimium wage unless you can prove special circumstances.

[Deleted]

I lack job satisfaction. I am experiencing burn out and have 6 months left for my obligatory time with my company or risk relocation/bonus repayment. This is the only reason I stay in my position...oh and I need money to live.

If someone is annoying or especially demanding, I delay my response if it isn't urgent. It's super passive aggressive but people need to be nicer and be careful about how they come across in emails. It's like Lilly in "How I met your mother" and how she would steal things to teach people a lesson!

My mother has issues. My parents were separated for 4 years and was divorced for 4 months by the time my dad died. My mom says she feels like a widow. She and my sister feed off each other "martyr" attitudes. It drives me batty. She had a boyfriend of like over a year.

[Deleted]

Poof

[1confused1]

Apr 19, 2016 16:30:32 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Apr 19, 2016 15:05:21 GMT -5 doriswe said:

How is that even an option?? I hate your XH

if he's on state assistance they can suspend it. This was one of the many reasons why I did NOT pursue child support from xh.

Yea, I know.  The ironic thing is he is current with payment, well, except for this month.  I'm hoping that has an impact on their decision, if he doesn't pay (which he historically hasn't) at least he has to pay interest if he doesn't pay on time.

[itsmyparty]

Apr 19, 2016 11:04:21 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Questions:  itsmyparty -how are you doing?  How is the move?  Are you still feeling a bit overwhelmed?

I am starting to feel better. I'm getting out and about, and I think even if I just take my computer to a coffee shop (gotta keep the resumes outgoing!) it makes me feel more alive than if I'm in my apartment. It will be so much better when I have a job and daily routine...right now I just feel adrift. I did join a great gym this week, though, so at least I can get my workouts in again.

Otherwise, also this week I signed "final" drafts of my divorce decree, which has now been sent to my husband for his signature. If he signs, then I guess it just goes back to the courthouse for an appearance date (which I don't have to go to) and the judge signs it...then we're divorced. I'm hoping stbxh just signs it so we can be done already. I'm soooo ready to have my old name back for FOREVER AND EVARRR!

[jenstar]

I took DS's old crib over to xh's house for the new baby when I picked up DS on the weekend.. He wasn't even there, he'd left DS with the new gf while he went to do something more important.. It took a lot of willpower to not tell her to expect that as the norm once the baby is here lol

She's selling her house across town and he's financed a nice new Audi for her through his business.. The thought of being so dependent on someone you've known for less than 6 months freaks me the fuck out, I'm so glad it's not me!