Online dating and kids

[howardandbear]

So after taking a long time to get back into the dating game I've jumped into the online dating scene. On my profiles and in my pictures I never have any hint of my 5yr old dd. I really feel over protective and maybe have watched/read one too many lifetime like stories. I don't want her to be an attraction to a predator to want to date/meet me. Does that make any sense? I have sole custody and have to really plan out opportunities to meet up and date. So my question is when do I tell them I have a kid. With a couple guys they simply asked the normal questions like have you been married, any kids,... But it doesn't always get asked. If I plan to meet someone should I send a heads up text or wait and tell them in person? For those who don't have kids has a guy mentioned kids after you met? How'd it go over? Am I totally over thinking all this?

I'm posting and running but I'll be back.

[1confused1]

It's in my profile that I have kids, not pictures, just in the description part.

I don't know why you would hesitate. My kids are a huge part of my life and will continue to be my number 1 priority, a guy will need to understand that.

[Deleted]

If the questionnaire doesn't ask, you should definitely mention it in your profile. I would assume that someone was childless if there was no mention and I wouldn't be too happy to learn about it later as I prefer not to date someone with kids.

[doriswe]

Apr 21, 2016 10:52:38 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

It's in my profile that I have kids, not pictures, just in the description part.

I don't know why you would hesitate. My kids are a huge part of my life and will continue to be my number 1 priority, a guy will need to understand that.

This.

You're totally over thinking this

[glitzyglow]

Apr 21, 2016 10:54:45 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

If the questionnaire doesn't ask, you should definitely mention it in your profile. I would assume that someone was childless if there was no mention and I wouldn't be too happy to learn about it later as I prefer not to date someone with kids.

I agree. If someone doesn't mention his or her child/children in a profile, I assume there are none.

[riverpestie]

Apr 21, 2016 10:54:45 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

If the questionnaire doesn't ask, you should definitely mention it in your profile. I would assume that someone was childless if there was no mention and I wouldn't be too happy to learn about it later as I prefer not to date someone with kids.

This is exactly how I feel. 

[jigsy]

If you are worried about attracting a predator, just put that you have a child, you don't need to list names, age, or gender...but it's something that could cause problems if it's not disclosed.

[sweetchix]

Apr 21, 2016 10:55:18 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Apr 21, 2016 10:52:38 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

It's in my profile that I have kids, not pictures, just in the description part.

I don't know why you would hesitate. My kids are a huge part of my life and will continue to be my number 1 priority, a guy will need to understand that.

This.

You're totally over thinking this

Same here.

[sacattack]

Like others you need to be upfront in your profile because its super important - both for kid-lovers and kid-haters. I only wanted to date guys with kids - because I assumed they would get what its like.

[howardandbear]

Thanks ladies. I'm totally over thinking it.

[greysgirl]

Apr 21, 2016 10:52:38 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

It's in my profile that I have kids, not pictures, just in the description part.

I don't know why you would hesitate. My kids are a huge part of my life and will continue to be my number 1 priority, a guy will need to understand that.

All of this

[jenstar]

howardandbear I had the same worries, but at the end of the day I decided I should mention a kid in my profile so guys were at least aware. I usually didn't answer if they asked in the questionnaire but would mention it somewhere. I figured that would at least weed out some guys specifically looking for kids and guys who were interested would hopefully read the profile and click out if they didn't want to date someone with kids.

[somersault72]

DS was never in any of my pictures, but I certainly mentioned him in my profile. He's a huge part of my life. I expect anyone who has children to mention it fairly early on.  I was far more uncomfortable mentioning I have 4 cats, lol. When you're married and you have 4, people just give you a puzzled look and move on, when you're single it's like "hello crazy cat lady." FWIW, my ex-h and I got the cats together.

[kirnat848]

I mentioned them in my profile but I do not have photos of them on there.

[pandora]

I would protect their identity by no pics but be upfront so you only attract men who are interested in those with children. I didn't have it in my profile that I was divorced years ago and it wasn't a selection in eharm - this guy shut down immediately and couldn't get out fast enough. I could have gone without that date!

Especially since you have children, your time is even more precious so YOU have to be more selective in who will make it to a date with you, taking time away from your children or time without the kids for other responsibilities or fun. Don't waste your own time with randoms.