How is everyone doing?

[flex]

I'm doing fine. Gearing up for prettying up my front porch with flowers.

Still active in AA. Once a month I go with some AA friends and hold a meeting for the women's correctional center. Makes me so grateful for my sobriety. Plus I'm the chair for Intergroup, and talk about personalities before principles. lol Those meetings can get pretty rowdy. And some of the attendees keep forgetting that we're all about reaching out to the alcoholic who still suffers.

[malibu]

I am glad to hear both updates!

I am 99% sure my H is still drinking. I've gotten utterly frustrated with the lying more than the drinking. Dude, we've been married almost ten freaking years. I know when you've been drinking. I just don't know why I can't and haven't pulled the trigger on leaving. He seems hell bent on destroying himself. People ask me if we're ever going to have another kid. I have a hard time not busting out laughing - I already single parent our one kid, and basically have to parent a grown ass adult who acts like a teenager.

I'm still working on my fitness. I haven't been very "good" lately. It's been at least two weeks since I've done any exercising, and my diet has been...well, shit. My birthday was yesterday, and I took the 'calories don't count' on your birthday thing way too far. I felt kind of sick when I went to bed last night. So I need to get back on track. I'm undoing all my hard work from the last year, and I'm frustrated with myself for it.

[lexxasaurus]

I don't really know how I'm doing. I suppose things are looking up for now. I went through a rough patch where I was hit with a few thousand dollars in bills unexpectedly and I was in this weird apathetic place, and I got to the point of being suicidal briefly. I wasn't going to actively plan. And I wasn't going to do anything, I just didn't want to wake up anymore.
A raise came at the perfect time, so I feel like I might be able to stay afloat but I'm definitely still struggling. It's very up-and-down right now, and I just want to feel normal. I know I will get things under control and I keep holding on to that fact.

[malibu]

Aw, lexxasaurus, that sucks. Money stuff is THE WORST. I am sorry you went through such rough feelings - please, please feel free to reach out to me here or on FB if you need to vent/chat. I understand money issues, believe me.

[lexxasaurus]

May 11, 2016 13:12:30 GMT -5 malibu said:

Aw, lexxasaurus, that sucks. Money stuff is THE WORST. I am sorry you went through such rough feelings - please, please feel free to reach out to me here or on FB if you need to vent/chat. I understand money issues, believe me.

I may take you up on the FB chat. I don't want to drag down conversations, but sometimes I just need someone to commiserate and tell me it's going to be okay because it doesn't always feel like it.

I am starting to feel better, I really am, but I hate struggling so bad some days. Mental illness is a dick, lol.

[malibu]

Oh please please please don't ever feel like you'd be dragging anyone down here if you do want to chat on the board! That's what this board is here for. Everyone wants to help you and boost you up

[Deleted]

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult go, lexxasaurus. Totally understand that you wouldn't want to talk details, but PM's are always good, if you want to vent. Hoping that raise (congratulations!!!) will help pull you up. Let any of us know if we can help. Praying for better days.

[Deleted]

Update: I'm consumed with my new little grandson born May 3. He's so adorable. He's a week old already. Where does the time go? haha. I've been spending some time with my daughter in Denver most days. Did I mention that driving in Denver is the world's worst? But there is a sweet little prize when I get to her house. I love him so much already.