WWYD friend staying with you

[Deleted]

Recommend an extended stay hotel? Is money really that tight for her?

[ECB]

As long as I had the space (a seperate bedroom), I can't imagine saying no. You think it's long - but I think "it's ONLY 2 weeks" and she has another place lined up. This isn't a "I lost my job - can I move in for a couple weeks" w/ no REAL end date established.

If you don't have a seperate bedroom for her and she'd be camped out in your living room, then I could more see syaing "no".

But even then, it would depend on how good a friend this is and outside of the inconvienence of having someone on my floor- if we get along and I feel she won't be a PITA, I'd do it.

[vanillacourage]

Close friend and you have a guest room- sure.

Casual friend and they're sleeping on your couch - no.

Is this friend in a tight spot financially? Whether they can afford an extended stay hotel may affect my opinion.

[jenny1223]

I'd probably let her stay. Two weeks doesn't seem that long to me.

[Muddled]

I'm betting that she knows 2 weeks is a lot to ask. She's trying to save money by staying with you, right? Any time you give her at all will accomplish that goal, even if you compromise and say a week, which is what I would probably do.

[IrishBelle]

May 17, 2012 12:28:52 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Close friend and you have a guest room- sure.

Casual friend and they're sleeping on your couch - no.

Is this friend in a tight spot financially? Whether they can afford an extended stay hotel may affect my opinion.

I agree with this. We have a spare room and full bathroom in our finished basement, along with a rec room that is rarely used so provided it was a close friend asking, I wouldn't mind at all.

[aspentosh]

We let my friend stay with us for 2 months while she looked for a job and house. I wouldn't have said no since we have an extra bedroom and it wasn't a huge imposition.

Two weeks would fly by.

[fbf2006]

I'd let my friend stay, especially if it's just for 2 weeks.

[Deleted]

Depends on the friend.

But probably yes.

Two weeks doesn't seem that long to me.

[hanihani]

Eh - two weeks isn't that long. It's a nice thing to do, since you have the extra bedroom. I'd discuss expectations first though regarding things like food, shower schedules, etc, esp. since you said your husband works off-hours.

My question is - what is she going to do with all of her stuff? Is it going to storage for those two weeks, or is she bringing it into your house?

[ECB]

Based on your update.... can you feel her out over extended stay places? If you aren't close to her and her staying there actually does affect your day to day routine - I can understand not wanting to do it.

In the end, if $$ was tight and we were her only option, I'd do it. But if it seems like she could afford it, then I'd suggest an extended stay place.

(and I'm sure her staying w/ you won't do anything to quell HER belief that you all are closer than you feel you are!)

[gt7301b]

We have two extra bedrooms and have had folks stay with us anywhere from one night to over a month. I guess we are suckers, but I would say yes.

[annieh2]

I'm a pushover, so I'd probably say yes. It's only two weeks and as long as expectations are laid out ahead of time, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.

[agb2008]

Since she is not a close friend I wouldn't let her stay either.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 13:11:13 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

I told her we'd think about it, and I can help her look into some extended stay places this weekend. She seemed pretty pissed. I hate saying no, but this just isn't something I am into. This is so not like me!

I think the frustrating thing is the "I'll think about it." That basically means I really want to say no, but need more time to think about an excuse. If you didn't want her to stay with you, you should have just been upfront "I'm sorry friend, but we just are not in a position to have extended house guests at this time. Perhaps an extended stay hotel could be an option?"

But I'd probably just let her stay. It sounds like the real issue here is the balance in your perceived level of friendship.

[chessie]

May 17, 2012 12:23:55 GMT -5 @ameliapond said:

Recommend an extended stay hotel? Is money really that tight for her?

This is what I have to recommend, or even assist. I have no spare room anymore, so this would be the best option. Friend/family- short term becomes longer..we tried to help someone before lasted way too long.

[peachdragon]

What would I do? I would absolutely say yes. 2 weeks is NOT a long time, to me.

[CloudBee]

2 weeks isn't a long time. I would let them stay with me.

How close are you? Do you have a guest room?

[kangaroo11]

If she's not a very close friend (doesn't seem like it), I'd say no. If she wants to be pissed at you because you don't want her crowding your personal space, she's then obviously not a close friend and not worth the hassle.

[aerowife2010]

I know 2 weeks isn't a long time, but I know I wouldn't be able to handle that- especially for someone I'm not best friends with. Heck, I can barely handle weekend guests sometimes so I wouldn't want to ruin any kind of friendship for having someone come stay with us that long.

[heygrey]

if we had an extra room - absolutely, even if she's not a super close friend. since we only have a couch to offer - it would depend. i can think of maybe 3 people who would get a 'yes' in our current living situation.

[downtoearth]

You called her a "friend," but then told us you weren't that close. So which is it? Anyone I call a "friend" I would let stay for 2 weeks in our house.

[livinitup]

I'd encourage her to push harder with the landlord to stay the extra 2 weeks. Lots of landlords use a gap between tennant sot paint and update. If she wants to be evil, she can just inform the landlord that she is staying, pay the extra 1/2 month's rent and not move out. The landlord cannot forceably evict her. Technically, the landlord can begin eviction process, but probably won't even get to see a judge for months - well past her move-out. Anyway, that's being evil and I'm sure the landlords on the board would be horrified at the sugestion. My point is that the sheriff will not come during those 2 weeks and throw her stuff on the lawn, just b/c she doesn't have a lease agreement. She can legally stay there. I can't image what a PITA is would be to move all of my stuff from apt #1, to storage, to apt #2 two weeks later. That's 2 trucks, a storage fee and a HUGE hassle. So, I'd also make sure she's not asking if her STUFF can stay with you for 2 weeks, too.

[glynn2009]

I probably would but we have had people to stay up to 3 months when it was suppose to be a couple weeks and we did not have extra room. It depends on why. We do not have close friends so it would not be a issue. We have tons of family who come and go.

[ECB]

May 17, 2012 14:01:37 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

I did clarify about the stuff, she will be getting a storage unit. She is a very new friend, who I have only known about 2 months. There are some things I have seen that makes me not want to pursue the relationship, but right now we are new friends.

Well, you see, this would have been helpful to know upfront! I don't think I'd let someone I've only known for 2 months stay w/ me for 2 weeks. That's asking a LOT of someone you pretty much JUST met.

[hanihani]

You've only known her two months??? That's pretty ballsy of her to ask you if she can move in for two weeks! I think that she must be desparate if she's asking you - like she can't afford an extended stay place, at all. Or, she has questionable judgement.

And, now I'm curious about the "stuff" that makes you not want to pursue the relationship.

[LoveTrains]

With the update that you have only known her for two months, no, I would not let her stay with you.

[steph96]

What "stuff" makes you not want to pursue the friendship? How did you meet her--Is this someone that you have to see/work with?

I'd probably just say "I talked to my husband and we don't think it's a good idea. He works odd hours and really struggles to get sleep. Having someone else here would be really hard on him. If it was only for a few nights it wouldn't be a big deal, but 2 weeks is too long. Have you asked either landlord about moving in 2 weeks earlier/later?"

[ladybug2002]

We let a friend stay with us for a few months when he started a new job near us. His girlfriend (who is a very good friend of mine) had to stay behind in their old city until she found a new job and they couldn't afford two apartments. It was not a big deal, we enjoyed having him around.

However, this sounds like someone you barely know so I don't think I could do that.

[Deleted]

I would say yes. My DH would not like it, he likes his space but he would go along with it. It is only 2 weeks and there is an end date in sight.