need some inspiration

[Deleted]

Today is a hard day.  I'm needing some inspiration or something.  Please share an article or quote or something that inspires you.  I just re-read this one and cried, but in a good way.

link

[asoctoberfalls]

DS has been extremely difficult since H left, and it's so discouraging. Sometimes I feel powerless to help him, and I feel like the world's worst mom. Someone posted this quote on Facebook today, and it spoke to me:

"You have the exact qualities God knew your kids would need in a mother."

[LoveBug]

May 8, 2016 17:21:59 GMT -5 @blushnbashful said:

Today is a hard day.  I'm needing some inspiration or something.  Please share an article or quote or something that inspires you.  I just re-read this one and cried, but in a good way.

link

Sorry u had a rough day. This article is beautiful!

[Linie]

I don't have an article to share, just my own story.

I met my husband at 30. It was not my first important relationship, but I felt immediately that it could perhaps be the ultimate one. I really wanted to be married and there were no real red flags. We got married 4 years later, after having lived together for 2 years. MH is a prefectionist and somewhat dominant. He's also very interesting and smart and we shared a love for movies, music and books.

Over time he became more dominant and verbally abusive but I was certain that it would get better, as long as I put in all the efforts to be a better partner. I was in individual therapy for the entire duration of our relationship to address my anxiety.

At some point, I had lost myself but it wasn't until a dear friend pointed out that "he shouldn't say those things", that I started thinking "what would happen if I get out?".

It took me more than a year to leave, it was really hard.

Now, almost two years later, I'm on a solo holiday to a place I always wanted to see. That friend of three years ago came to visit me here and we discussed how much I have changed. It's still difficult sometimes, but the woman I am now has nothing to do with the nervous anxious person I was.

But my friend pointed out that the real me was always there and that I only needed a little push to "come out again".

The ladies here all have similar stories. We will all "come out again" at some point and so will you.

Big hugs

[Deleted]

Thanks Linie. Yes I'm 1+ year post divorce and back out on my own. I am overall very happy but do still have sad days. I don't have any local family and most of my friends have husbands, kids, local family, etc so it can get tough.

I'm also fighting myself from relying on finding a new relationship to be happy. I want to be able to make myself happy - hobbies, volunteering, activities, friendships (they're tough to find!), etc. But often times I end up with wine or vegged out on the couch watching Netflix and feel myself spiraling down.

[doglove]

I completely can relate @blushnbashful. That happens to me sometimes too despite my best efforts to hang in there and "stay positive." Sending big hugs.

[TR]

I don't know about "inspiring" but this poem is my absolute favorite and usually calms me. I have the bolded tattooed on my inner forearm:

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

[Linie]

May 9, 2016 5:52:04 GMT -5 @blushnbashful said:

Thanks Linie. Yes I'm 1+ year post divorce and back out on my own. I am overall very happy but do still have sad days. I don't have any local family and most of my friends have husbands, kids, local family, etc so it can get tough.

I'm also fighting myself from relying on finding a new relationship to be happy. I want to be able to make myself happy - hobbies, volunteering, activities, friendships (they're tough to find!), etc. But often times I end up with wine or vegged out on the couch watching Netflix and feel myself spiraling down.

I understand you so very much on this. I'm exactly the same. This is my last day of my trip and instead of taking the car and driving around, I'm staying at the house, reading and eating too much cheese.

But then again, I am pushing myself out there and having fun (most of the times). I have met a man recently and it's going really well but I am doing my utter best to stay independent from him.

Hugs

[itsmyparty]

Just a note to say I can relate to basically everything that's been said and shared in this thread so far. We can feel so alone, but there are many of us in this boat.

[FormerlyRR]

All I have to add is that I said to a friend one night that I was so impressed by her courage to chose to stay in her marriage and keep trying, and she responded she was impressed by my courage to leave mine. 

[bg]

May 9, 2016 16:41:59 GMT -5 itsmyparty said:

Just a note to say I can relate to basically everything that's been said and shared in this thread so far. We can feel so alone, but there are many of us in this boat.

I'm here too. So very true!