Thursday randoms

[jojoandleo]

Good luck!
So, H isn't working because he is going back to school. We have has to budget and cut back, which is fine. One of my good girl friends, her H is also not working (and hasn't been for a while after getting laid off) and recently decided he is going back to school now. And of course she has, like, made it a competition. HER H is going to go back and finish his BS in Computer Science in two years. HER H will be making six figures as soon as he graduates. Which, A-I don't believe either of those, but B-I don't care! I don't care how long school takes for MH-he has his GI Bill! We won't be paying for it! I don't CARE if he NEVER makes 6 figures. We live in a VERY LCOL area. I can support both of us off my non-six figure salary.

Anyway, she also claims they need to cut back one day, then the next brags about getting eyelash extensions and $200 facials. Then will brag that she did her OWN nails to cut back the next, then talk about upping their cable. Like, look, we ALL KNOW her parents support the two of them, that's fine. Just, don't act like you are cutting back and you know the struggle when you don't! I literally eat Ramen at lunch so I can afford to go to a destination bachelorette party in August.

I just feel like punching her lately. I feel it is probably partly jealousy because she has NO FUCKING IDEA what budgeting ACTUALLY looks like. Like, her idea of budgeting is only doing an annual Mexico trip rather than her bi-annual trips. I didn't vacation farther than driving to Texas to see family for THREE YEARS when I went back to school. Knock it off.

[glitzyglow]

I found what I thought was bird poop in my work and I was wondering how in the world a bird got in. Shortly thereafter, I turned around at my desk to find a skink sunbathing in a spot of sunlight. I googled skink poop and what do you know...it is skink scat that I found, not bird. Ha, I never imagined I'd google such a thing!

I've been so lazy every night after work. I think I'm still readjusting from my trip, but I have to get some stuff done tonight (groceries, laundry, food prep). I'll need extra energy to stay up late because game 7 of the Predators/Sharks is on tonight! Go Preds!

[bl]

@32flavors good luck! I would love to do something like that but my anxiety would likely make me come off as a stand offish bitch.

glitzyglow how was NYC?

I am back home and recovering from my trip still. The stop in Savannah was a blast. The festival was amazing, my anxiety wasn't as bad as I thought it was and since my bf made friends with a ton of people on fb groups we already had friends to hang with when we got there. Day one we went to one of their campsites and got so drunk by 2pm I didn't drink again for the rest of the night and finally sobered up around 9pm. We stopped off in Chaleston, SC on the way back for some beach time and spent the night there and thanks to recommendations from TR we had a wonderful time.

I am home now but super sick. Went to the dr yesterday because I was certain I had the flu but it came back as strep and bronchitis. The fever and body aches are what makes it the most miserable, but luckily she gave me some good meds, so hopefully I'll start recovering soon.

[Deleted]

I feeeeeeel like I made plans for tonight, but I can't remember what. So I'm hoping someone reaches out to confirm OR that no one does and I can go home and put on sweats as soon as I hit the door.

My work computer is on its last legs and I'm waiting on the new one to arrive, so I need to go home at lunch and grab my laptop to get some work done. I sort of feel like pulling on sweats and coming back in those. Probably not the most professional idea.

[glitzyglow]

bl, it was great! Thursday was spent traveling to my friend's school, watching his presentation and reception afterward, followed by dinner and the train ride back to Brooklyn. After such a long day, we rested on Friday and stayed in Brooklyn. I went to a real yoga studio for the first time that day and joined a flow class (I was sore the rest of the trip, lol)! It was fun to spend the day like a local. Saturday I experienced Chinatown and Little Italy with a friend, then we joined another friend that evening in Midtown. During drinks I came down with the WORST headache I've had in years and ended up going to bed early. Sunday, my stomach cramped all day long (I have no clue why), but I powered through it. We walked around West Village/Greenwich Village and popped into a lot of shops (we spotted Uma Thurman, too!) and had dinner over there. I left Monday morning. I can't wait to go back!

Where all did you go? My roommate mentioned wanting to go to Charleston this year, so it's on my radar for a possible late summer/fall trip.

[bl]

Sounds like you had a great time, I love when you get to experience a touristy place like a bit of a local. For the beach we went to Folly beach it had easily accessible and reasonable parking, places to rent chairs/umbrellas, and we rented jet skis. The little beach town area was super cute too, and that area of the beach is only about 20 min away from downtown which was really nice. I wouldn't really recommend our hotel it was a holiday inn downtown, but we got it on priceline for $75 for the night, so I really can't complain much. We had dinner at fleets landing which is downtown and on the water. There was a really pretty water front park nearby and tons of shops across the street to just wander around and look at.

[cuddlyevil]

May 12, 2016 10:18:25 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

I found what I thought was bird poop in my work and I was wondering how in the world a bird got in. Shortly thereafter, I turned around at my desk to find a skink sunbathing in a spot of sunlight. I googled skink poop and what do you know...it is skink scat that I found, not bird. Ha, I never imagined I'd google such a thing!

I've been so lazy every night after work. I think I'm still readjusting from my trip, but I have to get some stuff done tonight (groceries, laundry, food prep). I'll need extra energy to stay up late because game 7 of the Predators/Sharks is on tonight! Go Preds!

We had a skink living just outside our house. I had no idea we had them here in Ohio. It was so cool.

[Deleted]

I had to google what a skink was. No thank you.


I unfriended a Trump-er. WTF. Bathroom laws make me want to strangle people.

[Deleted]

Work is kicking my ass, but in the best possible way. I was in a total funk for a few months and I think it's because I just wasn't scheduled/busy enough. Now I'm feeling amazingly productive, and despite being super slammed at work, the rest of my life is in a much better place. I'm keeping my apartment cleaner and staying on top of things that need to be done. Also my ADs are really kicking in I think. I need this to be a reminder NOT to decided I'm all better and go off of them again.

I also have re-engaged with some professional groups. I always get annoyed having to do something after work, but then I feel really awesome once I get there. Basically I feel like I'm finally in my groove and back to being me. Dating is a bit on hold and I'm not planning to jump in anytime soon.

The guy I was kind of seeing early is having some medical/personal issues and he was super honest and let me know he needed to step back. We chatted a bit about how we really liked each other and hadn't found someone we were this compatible with ever. But knowing the timing isn't right, things have taken a HUGE step back and we just send a text here and there and agreed to pick things up IF it seems like the right time. I feel like this is a really mature and good step for me.

[stephreloaded]

I need to move soon, very soon because I cant stand my landlord. I am looking and the apartment I wanted, has already been taken.

I am looking but I am losing hope. I need to be pretty close to my parents as they help out with DD and they have her everyday until I come from work and pick her up. I feel like I have to pick between location vs price and new apartments  . I know at the end of the day my life is much easier living close to them but I want to live in a nice apartment. 

[doglove]

My stitch fix birthday box arrived this afternoon. It had polka dots flats in it. Love! A lot of the clothes look like the size I previously had and I told them I had lost weight and updated my size. I hope they aren't too big, but I'll try everything on when I get home from work. All the pieces look super cute and comfy.

[Dory1988]

First birthday without the ex down. Actually had a good day with my mom. Got my free Starbucks and while I was there a random guy told me happy birthday. I got my hair done and had dinner with my family. Some random people on a bus trip sang happy birthday. It turned out being a lot better than I had feared.

[sweetchix]

May 12, 2016 10:18:25 GMT -5 glitzyglow said:

I found what I thought was bird poop in my work and I was wondering how in the world a bird got in. Shortly thereafter, I turned around at my desk to find a skink sunbathing in a spot of sunlight. I googled skink poop and what do you know...it is skink scat that I found, not bird. Ha, I never imagined I'd google such a thing!

Did you take it home and make it your pet?

[sweetchix]

I walked for a half hour at lunch today. Great, right? Wrong. I wore sandals with heels today and ended up with a blister on each of my little toes and one on a big toe. It was a last minute decision because it was so nice out. I told my coworker I would bring sneakers and socks in to leave at my desk for next time. Ouch!

[Deleted]

Sigh.. I just had another "argument" with mom.  

It wasn't even an argument--I told her I'd like to come see her sometime in July for her bday.  She then got really mad and said that it was shitty of me to wait to see her until July. I have a new job and can't take random vacation time yet.  She hung up on me and sent me a text that said "fuck you, good luck with your asshole boyfriend, I don't feel close to you anymore"  And "every time we talk you frustrate and upset me".

Ugh.  I texted her back that I didn't understand why she insulted me for no reason.  I feel bad, but this is just ongoing lately.  It sucks.  I wish she'd go back on ADs and be closer to her baseline.  

[winecat]

@blueyes623- Oh, I'm so sorry. Big hugs.

[jigsy]

@blueyes623, dude...that isn't an ok thing to say to anyone...and the fact that it came from your mom makes it even worse. She is supposed to be an adult. Easier said than done, but its time to step back until she can treat you with respect.

[glitzyglow]

@blueyes623, I strongly agree with @32flavors that this is emotional abuse and that therapy would a great tool for you to navigate your relationship with your mother. My mother used to say similar stuff to me, so I understand how deep and painful those words can be. They are not a reflection on you, however, but of your mother's own toxicity. Big hugs to you.

[stephreloaded]

I would try to cut contact. This is just not fair to you. You have tried to maintain a relationship with her and she has made it more and more difficult.

[kanga1]

May 12, 2016 18:52:13 GMT -5 turdferguson said:

May 12, 2016 11:38:26 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

I had to google what a skink was. No thank you.


I unfriended a Trump-er. WTF. Bathroom laws make me want to strangle people.

I thought she kept typing skunk and it was autocorrecting to skink. Then more confused because I didn't know a skink was a thing and why a skunk would be out sunbathing.

Lol

3rd indian

[Deleted]

@blueyes623 I'm so sorry to hear your struggle with your mom, but I also understand it isn't as easy to just say cut all contact! She is your only immediate family correct? I understand not wanting to feel orphaned, which is exactly how I would feel if I lost my mom. Also I do think a lot of this sounds relatively new and is likely brought on by your step fathers death right? She wasn't this nuts before was she?

I know my anxiety manifests itself as anger. Like super crazy anger and her statements sound a lot like things I've said as my anxiety is spinning during an argument. That doesn't make it okay, but I don't think this is as much about her being an abusive person (although her statements are certainly abuse), but more about a person suffering from extreme anxiety and likely depression.

I would say "Mom communicating like this with me is hurtful and it isn't productive. This is out of character for you and frankly I'm concerned. Would you come see a therapist with me? We need this for our relationship."

Then if she refuses I would say "Our relationship has become unhealthy for me. Until you are willing to see a therapist with me so we can work to rebuild this, I think we should limit our interactions."

Hugs. I know it's SO hard.

[Deleted]

glitzyglow, stephreloaded, jigsy, @pdx18, @32flavors,

Thanks for all of the replies. I agree that the things she is saying are disrespectful and do sound emotionally abusive. She's always been a bit tough on me. She always provided for me and encouraged me to do well in school etc when I was younger, but was very controlling as a parent. I do feel that it's gotten better and worse over the years, but has been increasingly worse since my stepdad passed away and she went off anti depressants. She does suffer from anxiety and depression, but has decided that after 25+ years, she doesn't need them anymore. She's never ever gone to therapy and has never been seen/diagnosed by a mental health professional (only her primary care doc).
I have not been to therapy about this topic (although it was touched upon slightly in my marriage counseling before I divorced xh).
I may look into speaking to someone once my ins at the new job becomes active.
I, myself, suffer from anxiety and I'm having no issues with it because I'm on ADs.
I need a break from her antics. I'm glad we don't live 5 minutes from each other ---and i feel guilty for saying that. @pdx18, yes she is my only immediate family.