More baby questions

[Bernadine]

I'm trying to lump them together as I think of them.

If you didn't feel immediately connected with baby, did you feel that throughout your pregnancy?  I've felt very connected already, so I'm wondering if I will still when she's born.

If you went med-free, what do you think helped the most?

What did you wear during labor?  Just the hospital gown?  And those hospital socks?  The gown doesn't seem like it would be very comfy.

With the sleep gowns- do they wear a onesie underneath?  Or just the gown?

ETA- we have an older house, and it's sometimes a little musty.  I'm thinking about getting an EO diffuser for the nursery, to keep it smelling fresh.  This is safe, right?  Which diffuser do you rec?  And which scents?  I don't care for lavender.

[Narwhal]

I had a ton of ultrasounds with my twins, so I felt like I really "bonded" with the during pregnancy. Then, they were born at 29 weeks and I probably took the bonding a bit too far. The only person I didn't mind holding them was my H, I'd even get irritated if I saw a nurse snuggling one. Haha. But yes, I felt connected before birth and even more so after.

I had a very unexpected delivery, so I didn't have anything with me at the hospital and hated the gowns after birth. This time I plan of bringing those button pajama gown things and really stretchy pants.

No onesie under the baby gown. I know some people hate the gowns but we loved them. Diaper changes were a breeze.

ETA- I've read that some EO aren't safe for infants and can even cause lung issues or breathing problems, so I wouldn't use one until a year or older. Whenever our nursery was musty I would just leave the windows open.

[cabbagecabbage]

If you didn't feel immediately connected with baby, did you feel that throughout your pregnancy?  I've felt very connected already, so I'm wondering if I will still when she's born. Yes. I felt very connected. I felt a yearning while pregnant but couldn't quite imagine a real baby. My BFF did not feel connected and called her son "the baby" for the first couple weeks. Both are normal. No matter what the love and bond keeps growing over time.

If you went med-free, what do you think helped the most? I had am epidural that failed, so I did part medicated but transition and pushing were med free (the fun parts!) and my previous Forrest yoga experience was hands down what saved me. Gutteral deep breathing. It was how I went somewhere and could disconnect from the pain.

What did you wear during labor?  Just the hospital gown?  And those hospital socks?  The gown doesn't seem like it would be very comfy. Gown at first. After a while it gets very very hot and I was totally nude with a wet cloth on my forehead.

With the sleep gowns- do they wear a onesie underneath?  Or just the gown? Just the gown. They're nice for easy changes and snaps would ruin that.

ETA- we have an older house, and it's sometimes a little musty.  I'm thinking about getting an EO diffuser for the nursery, to keep it smelling fresh.  This is safe, right?  Which diffuser do you rec?  And which scents?  I don't care for lavender. No advice there.

[missbella]

2. Don't fight the contractions. Try other things first for 5 contractions. For example, when it started getting bad, I opted to try the tub. But, honestly, it never got to the point where I didn't feel like I could handle it. I did have a fleeting thought of, " I don't think I can do this all night" because I thought labor was going to be long, but it turned out that was the beginning of transition and I went 5-10 in less than an hour so it was a little intense but manageable.

3. I wore my regular clothes for the beginning. Yoga pants and a t-shirt. They made me put the gown on during monitoring. Then, I wore a sports bra in the tub and was completely nude while pushing lol.

[yourmother]

I felt bonded to my baby from the time I felt him kick. I'm not intuitive when it comes to babies so my insecurities in being ignorant about babies has sometimes gotten in the way of the bonding because I was always nervous about messing up. Lopoking back, I was suffering from PPA and now wished I had gotten help sooner. My DS is not an affectionate baby and that too played into my insecurities.

I was induced and wore the hospital gown. I did get an epidural but it wore off while I was transitioned and I hummed loudly to get through the pain. My DH kept reassuring me that I was doing GREAT and was constantly rubbing my back.

My DS is wore some gowns without bodysuits under at nighttime.

[Deleted]

I went med free. DH and my nurses being supportive, reminding me to relax was the biggest help. Walking the halls and breathing through contractions. It felt really hard at the end. Like really hard. But by then I was about to push and she was almost here so I just got through it. I think DH just kept saying he was proud of me, I was strong, I was doing good, we were almost there. Just being encouraging. Same with the doctors and nurses.

Another thing that helped was DD was 4 weeks early, since she was considered a premie they told me a nicu team would be there for her. I had been told previously that some people think (there was evidence? Suspicions? Can't remember exactly) that some of the epidural makes it to the baby and slows them a bit after birth. I don't remember if that's accurate or true but it was in my head and I just refused to consider one because if she was already going to need the nicu team to help her breathe I wasn't going to make it harder for her.

For me, it was uncomfortable during labour but not painful. A bit painful at the end but that was like minutes before pushing started.

My recovery was relatively easy too. I could move/walk right after. And a few times I stopped pushing before the doctor said because of what I was feeling. I think that helped me avoid tearing.

I plan to go natural again with my second.

That said, if at any point the doctor had suggested an intervention and said the risk of not doing it was to the health of the baby (or me) we would have abandoned the natural.

Also one girl from our birth class wanted to do natural but had horrible back labour. She just couldn't relax and wasn't progressing. So she had morphine early in labour and said once she had that she relaxed and things moved quick from there. She was med free for pushing.

[yourmother]

Oh! And I don't know anything about oil diffusers. We had our HVAC thoroughly cleaned, carpets cleaned and new air filters before before DS came home.

[peachykate]

I'd get an air purifier instead of a diffuser. Jax's room had a weird smell that I've never been able to get rid of and this takes care of it.

[Deleted]

I can't answer the rest because it's kind of a blur and I don't remember. However I would have used whatever the hospital gave us because we were not ready. At all.

[Bernadine]

May 13, 2016 8:25:17 GMT -5 peachykate said:

I'd get an air purifier instead of a diffuser. Jax's room had a weird smell that I've never been able to get rid of and this takes care of it.

Which one do you have?

[thebreakfastclub]

I guess I was bonded with the baby, but then I had an unplanned c/s and honestly, I wasn't into him for a couple of days.

I was never like, "I need to hold this baby all the time and no one can touch him, I was so in love with this baby as soon as I saw him, etc." I was more like, who wants to take this baby, I'm going to Target alone!

It's a relationship that takes time. I put him down a lot and just kind of recovered and started enjoying him.

I would plan to have a fan or ceiling fan for noise and air flow, so that will help if it's musty.

DS wore a onesie under his sleep n plays, but it was winter. I think the rule is one more layer than you. If your house is cold at night with AC in the summer, I would do that plus the sleep sack.

[thebreakfastclub]

Oh and I wore the gown, you likely won't notice or care.

[FastHands]

I didn't go med free, but I think if I had been able to get up and move around (I was hooked up to too many monitors due to pre-e), I might have been able to. The pain that was unbearable for me was actually in my right hip, which I think I could have alleviated considerably if I wasn't stuck in bed so long.

I wasn't super attached during pregnancy, and I had sort of a weird experience when he was born. I was really worried as I started pushing, because this was really it, I was going to have a kid, and would I love him? Would I be a good mom? Would he hate me? There was just a LOT, plus being scared of pain etc. I had this moment of joy when they put him on my chest, happiness that I was a mom, relief that pregnancy/labor were OVER and DS was crying and healthy.. and I vividly remember looking at him and thinking "we're gonna be okay. We're gonna be just fine." It took me a few weeks to get out of the fog and have a true connection with him, but I did have this certainty when he was born that we would get there. Like when you meet someone and you just know you're going to get along. That probably sounds insane. lol.

[FastHands]

And I'd skip the oil diffuser. Babies can be very sensitive to smells. On that note, someone told me that I should use only unscented lotions for the first few weeks at least, so that he could smell ME and get the comfort that comes from that.

And I always did onesies under swaddle sacks. Contain, contain, contain! lol

[peachykate]

May 13, 2016 8:26:58 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

May 13, 2016 8:25:17 GMT -5 peachykate said:

I'd get an air purifier instead of a diffuser. Jax's room had a weird smell that I've never been able to get rid of and this takes care of it.

Which one do you have?

Hamilton Beach
04383A True Air Allergen-Reducing Air Cleaner

We also have two older Holmes purifiers that work great.

[DarcyLongfellow]

If you didn't feel immediately connected with baby, did you feel that throughout your pregnancy?  I've felt very connected already, so I'm wondering if I will still when she's born.

I wasn't initially connected with either of my girls right at birth. I felt immediately protective of them (and terrified that something would happen to them), and I felt loving towards them, I guess? But it took a while to really feel actual love. With DD1 it freaked me out, but by the time I had DD2 I realized it's just normal for me. I also had PPD/PPA with each of them, so I'm sure that contributed. During pregnancy with DD1, I had trouble thinking of her as an actual baby. With DD2 I felt pretty connected with her during my pregnancy, but I still didn't have a strong bond initially.


What did you wear during labor?  Just the hospital gown?  And those hospital socks?  The gown doesn't seem like it would be very comfy.

The gowns at my hospital were very comfy. Super soft because they'd been washed a million times. I can't imagine wearing something of my own during labor/delivery. I changed gowns a few times during my labor with DD1 because I was so sweaty. And it can potentially get covered with all kinds of grossness during delivery. I changed into my own clothes (nightshirt and robe) after delivery (and a shower).

With the sleep gowns- do they wear a onesie underneath?  Or just the gown?

I think the idea is for diaper changes to be super easy, so I assume they're meant to be worn without anything underneath. I hated them, though. I feel like they would have been awesome back before swaddling, but since I was swaddling anyway, adding another step of unsnapping a sleeper or onesie didn't seem like a big deal

ETA- we have an older house, and it's sometimes a little musty.  I'm thinking about getting an EO diffuser for the nursery, to keep it smelling fresh.  This is safe, right?  Which diffuser do you rec?  And which scents?  I don't care for lavender.

I wouldn't use essential oils around a newborn. I mean, I love them and use them with my kids (they're great for convincing my 6 year old I'm doing something to help whatever ailment she claims is stopping her from going to sleep -- even if the EO does nothing at all). But newborns have so much going on and every smell and substance in their environment is brand new to their little systems. I wouldn't want to add an essential oil to the mix.

[karinothing]

I went med free both times, in early labor I focused on distracting myself. Trying to take myself out of the situation. In later labor I used the hot tub. I also found it really helpful to keep moving like rocking back and forth. I think it helped distract me.

As far as what I wore during labor, that answer would be my regular clothes in early labor and nothing later on lol. I think I wore a sports bra for a little bit, but I was basically naked and gave no Fs.

[tinybride]

With my first, I did not feel connected during pregnancy. I was 19 and it was unplanned. Did not feel the connection at birth either. That took awhile and maybe not even till 2 that I realized that I couldn't live without her. Don't get me wrong. I took great care of my child and showed her love. I was just too young.

With my second 8 eight years later which was very much planned. I was induced and had a very long labor. Had issues with the epidural and pitocin so by the time the baby came the next day, I was so exhausted and sleep deprived and then traumatized because she was unresponsive at first that I felt numb. Took a few hours to recover and bond. My third baby and 4th baby were better labors and I felt an instant bond. I also did immediate skin to skin with them.

During labor I wore hospital gown and socks. Babies wore their snap onesies.

[underwaterrhymes]

I felt connected immediately with both, but this is not something you need to worry about. You might feel connected right away and you might not and both are okay. I was connected but still a complete basket case with K. I handled postpartum stuff much better with N because I knew what to expect. I also didn't have the bladder issues I did with K, which helped immensely.

I tried to go medfree, but the ribs and contractions that started two minutes apart and never eased up made me embrace the epidural.

Do not wear something of yours you like. I wore the hospital gown, but also was naked at some points. I wanted to look cute after delivery, so I had a fun nightgown and a shorts and nursing top set, but during delivery, nope. Birth is messy. Don't ruin something you own or buy for the purpose of pushing a baby out. And fuck no to socks.

I hated sleep gowns, although I eventually used a sleep sack with K once we stopped swaddling and using the Magic Merlin thing. Just bring onesies for the baby and a going home outfit. They will swaddle the baby there, so you won't need anything else to keep her warm.

[luckyval]

May 13, 2016 8:08:54 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

I'm trying to lump them together as I think of them.

If you didn't feel immediately connected with baby, did you feel that throughout your pregnancy?  I've felt very connected already, so I'm wondering if I will still when she's born. I did feel connected during pregnancy, but lost some of that after he was born. He was a stranger and H and I were struggling to adapt to the new norm. It took about two months to feel a strong connection to Hart and feel like we were a family unit. 

If you went med-free, what do you think helped the most? I went with an epidural and, thankfully, the nurses timed it perfectly according to my birth plan so that the epidural wore off about an hour before delivery. I wanted to feel what was going on during delivery so that I knew what kind of pushes were productive. 

In managing pain once the epidural wore off, focal point breathing and making low guttural sounds helped manage the pain. 

What did you wear during labor?  Just the hospital gown?  And those hospital socks?  The gown doesn't seem like it would be very comfy. I wasn't given an option and had to wear a gown, no socks by choice. I put on a light robe after he was born. 

With the sleep gowns- do they wear a onesie underneath?  Or just the gown? I just went with the gown, less to mess with during middle of the night diaper changes. 

ETA- we have an older house, and it's sometimes a little musty.  I'm thinking about getting an EO diffuser for the nursery, to keep it smelling fresh.  This is safe, right?  Which diffuser do you rec?  And which scents?  I don't care for lavender.

[kaybee85]

May 13, 2016 9:06:10 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

I felt connected immediately with both, but this is not something you need to worry about. You might feel connected right away and you might not and both are okay. I was connected but still a complete basket case with K. I handled postpartum stuff much better with N because I knew what to expect. I also didn't have the bladder issues I did with K, which helped immensely.

Yeeeep, and this gives me hope for when we go for #2. I was in magical bliss all day (she was born at 5 am) and when the bliss adrenaline finally wore off at about 9 pm (keep in mind we are talking many hours of no sleep because labor contractions started around 11 am the day before). This was juuuust about the time Ingrid perked up and was ready. to. go. OMG that first night I was a mess. Now I know to pop a boob in the mouth of any future babies as soon as he/she starts crying (I was worried about defaulting to that. DUMB lol).

I personally think that the biggest factor in going med free is how long your labor lasts. I really wanted to (but I'll be honest - I wasn't hard core/stubborn about it), but by somewhere around 13 hours into labor, I said fuck it and got the ep. 

eta: I wore the gown during labor and it was fine. I honestly didn't care at all what I was wearing at that point.

[housewife]

DS I felt connected to immediately and stayed that way after birth. I remember it physically hurt me when he was in his bassinet because he was too far away from me. I didn't connect to DD until she was like 1. I mean, I loved her because she was mine, but it just didn't feel the same as DS.

I planned to go med-free with both. DS came so fast that even though I was screaming and begging for an epi, it was too late. I don't recommend a Precipitous labor though. DD was an 8 hour birth laying on my side in the dark with no sounds and remembering to relax my jaw was very effective.

With DS I think I was essentially naked. I know they put a hospital gown on me but I was so hot and uncomfortable that I ripped the sleeve snaps off. So it was basically just draped over me. Oh wait, I had a sports bra on. DD was the hospital gown, no socks.

[papie]

I felt comncted during pregnancy and right after birth. But then after I was disconnected somewhat. It was hormones and exhaustion I think. I felt like I was just going through the motions. Then I fell madly in love.

[papie]

Med free. With Anna I panicked and got an epi. I think it was the unknown, it was too much too fast and the nurse told me it would still be like 12 hours. It wasn't, she was born two hours later. So don't listen to the nurses and don't think about long term, just get through each contraction.

I had pitocin with Sophia and not epi. It hurt like a motherfucker. I screamed a lot and asked for an epi but it was too late by then.

With Alex, I really knew what I was getting into. I just took it one contraction at a time and pictured a flower opening with each contraction. I was very zen and calm and just breathed and didn't scream except at crowning when I yelled "I can't do this!". I did ask for the laughing gas because I was stuck at 8vm for like an hour and they wouldn't break my water because my OB was in a csection and they were waiting for him. The gas really helped me be zen (it feels like smoking weed, lol).

[jsillyfun]

I felt very connected the whole pregnancy and right after birth.

I drank sips of coconut water after every contraction so I wouldn't need Iv fluids, ate honey to raise my blood sugar when I got shaky, had Dh rub my back during contractions, and breathed deeply and relaxed my whole body during contractions.

I wore a light cotton dress but ended up in nothing but a sports bra.

[Deleted]

If you didn't feel immediately connected with baby, did you feel that throughout your pregnancy?
---I felt connected to the baby throughout pregnancy, and that continued after he was born. I was nervous at first because I never took care of a newborn before, but that passed. The hormone surges in the first couple weeks took me completely by surprise.

If you went med-free, what do you think helped the most?
---I had an epidural (with induction, 32-hour labor), but did manage to do 12 hours with pitocin med-free. Deep breathing exercises helped, but only to a certain extent.  To me, the birth ball was such a joke.  It didn't help at all, in fact it seemed to make it worse somehow.  

What did you wear during labor? Just the hospital gown? And those hospital socks?
---I wore just the hospital gown and my own socks. I was really hot and honestly didn't care what I was wearing at that point. If you think you'll be more comfortable in your own nightgown/robe/yoga pants and tank, then why not?

With the sleep gowns- do they wear a onesie underneath? Or just the gown?
---DS was born in January. He wore a diaper, long-sleeve shirt provided by the hospital, hospital socks, hat, and 2 hospital blankets wrapped around him.

Which diffuser do you rec? And which scents?
---I wouldn't use a diffuser. Scents give me a headache, so I don't tend to use them. I'd just change furnace filters, open windows as much as possible, maybe use an air purifier, dehumidifer, etc.

[papie]

Are you giving birth at a hospital? The other thing that helped me so much was the hot bath. See if your hospital has one. The only issue is they wouldn't let me labor in it the whole time, I don't even know why, it made me so mad, lol. But if you can, try to plan to stay in the bath as much as possible.

[liverandonions]

If you didn't feel immediately connected with baby, did you feel that throughout your pregnancy? I've felt very connected already, so I'm wondering if I will still when she's born. I felt bonded pretty quickly into pregnancy and after labor

If you went med-free, what do you think helped the most? I didn't go med free but before i had the epi I used the birth ball to bounce and roll my hips to try to alleviate some of the pain-my husband rubbed my back while I was on the ball.

What did you wear during labor? Just the hospital gown? And those hospital socks? The gown doesn't seem like it would be very comfy. I wore the gown during labor but they do suck-You won't care during especially since babies aren't clean when they come out and you want their stuff getting yucky. Plus for the monitors and epi it's the easiest. They give you a different gown designed for breastfeeding after. As soon as I could I got into yoga pants-no boundaries from Walmart, seriously the best! And a nursing tank.


With the sleep gowns- do they wear a onesie underneath? Or just the gown? We didn't do gowns. They bugged me. Stock up on zipper jammies instead of the ones with snaps.

ETA- we have an older house, and it's sometimes a little musty. I'm thinking about getting an EO diffuser for the nursery, to keep it smelling fresh. This is safe, right? Which diffuser do you rec? And which scents? I don't care for lavender. No idea but I've heard of issues with infants and EO's because they weren't diffused correctly. Probably not an issue if you actually use it correctly but I've never used one.

[Bernadine]

May 13, 2016 9:53:00 GMT -5 papie said:

Are you giving birth at a hospital? The other thing that helped me so much was the hot bath. See if your hospital has one. The only issue is they wouldn't let me labor in it the whole time, I don't even know why, it made me so mad, lol. But if you can, try to plan to stay in the bath as much as possible.

I will be at a hospital, and they don't have tubs.     I plan on trying a warm shower.

[thatgirl2478]

Baby connection - with both pregnancies I was connected to the girls throughout. I still am - sometimes I think DD2 and I are psychically linked as well - ha - there are times when she's asleep or out of the room that I'll start thinking about her and she'll either wake up or come into the room (it's weird).

Med free wasn't an option - I had c sections with both girls.

I didn't really labor but the little bit I did with DD1 I was in a hospital gown.

We didn't use the sleep gowns - just swaddled during the first 3 mo. After that just regular sleep n plays.

I don't know that I would use an EO diffuser in the babies room. I use a solid scent thing from Menards if the smell of diapers gets overwhelming ( after taking out the trash of course), and I don't think I would worry about the room being a bit musty (I would open the window). I know that some EO's aren't good for babies and those plug in scents are not good for anyone (but I still love them).