Bad News Yesterday

[karebear219]

Hello,

I was debating on whether or not to say anything today and how much, but I thought it might help me with the healing process. I also thought it could help any of you in the future if you have to go through this. This is gong to be long.

Any way, I had the second utlra-sound yesterday and no fetus was there. All they saw was evidence of a pregnancy that tried to develop but failed.

I am doing okay. I was prepared for it and I know that it is just not meant to be right now. It will happen when it is supposed to. I also know it is a good thing because it means the pregnancy wasn't healthy. Of course I am sad and I am angry at my body for continuing to care for something that doesn't exist. I figured if a pregnancy didn't develop my body would let nature take it's course, but I have since learned that this does happen and can happen.

I was given three options:
1) Wait it out to see if nature takes it course, with a month time limit due to risk of infection
2) Take a pill to get the process started
3) Schedule a DNC - which is basically the same procedure as an abortion

With 1 and 2 many of you who unfortunately have gone through this know it's extremely painful and I was warned I would probably spend the first one or two days in the bathroom. Then to expect a full two weeks of bleeding as well as a possible trip to the ER.

Given the pregnancy probably failed over a month ago and my body continues to act as it is caring a baby I know #1 is not an option at least for me.

I also get extremely anemic when I am on my period. I can only imagine with this it will be much worse. I also don't have time to spend multiple days in the bathroom. I have a family to care for and I want to have closure on this and move on. Plus #2 isn't guaranteed to work. I still might have to schedule a DNC.

I have chosen to do the DNC. I have no fear that this is the wrong decision. I saw the ultrasound there really is nothing there but what is left over. It is supposed to be quick with little or no pain afterwards. It is classified as surgery, so there are risks.

My reproductive system is healthy and my doctor says there is no reason I can't get pregnant in the future. 

Thank you all for your support.

[madDawg228]

Thank you for sharing such a personal, yet informational story. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm especially sorry that you had to wait so long to get the bad news.

[dana86]

Im so sorry for you having to go through this and even make these types of decisions KB. I know they are not easy and I'm here if you need to talk.

[georgeharrison]

Hugs. I am so sorry. We love you. Take good care of yourself.

[ilovebed]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. My girlfriend had a similar situation a few months ago and opted for the dnc as well for the same reasons. For her it was just better to have a faster remedy so she could move on. I'm thinking of you and sending healing vibes to you.

[shevacc]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you, it's such a tough decision to have to make

[Deleted]

Sorry for your loss KB. We are here for you, parents and non parents alike! Take care of yourself and you know you can lean on us for support if you need it!

[picksthemusic]

Sending so many hugs and lots of love. I know how it feels - and I also chose the D&C.

If you need an ear or anything, please feel free to contact me (PM, FB messenger, or you can always call me, I'll PM my phone number). Please be kind to yourself.

I'm so sorry.

[jennlin]

♥️