Hi everyone, new here

[puggaho]

Hello. I am just starting to get out of the worst part of a breakup but still could use some support I guess? I was with my boyfriend for 4 years, living together for 3 of them and we had planned on being together for the rest of our lives. It's been really hard to let go of not just him, but those future plans and his family, who I became very close to due to being estranged from most of my own family. I'm 23 and have pretty bad depression and anxiety so I don't think that helped me out very much as far as the aftermath and my feelings, especially because I was having some issues with my meds at the time. I also lost a pet shortly after, and had to start job hunting because I do not make enough without him to make ends meet. Well, I do now but my roommates (his sister and her girlfriend) are looking for a smaller apartment so I will not be able to stay where I am now, and some other expenses will go up too. 
I feel dumb for being so upset, I mean it wasn't like we were married or anything, but I did think he was 'the one' and it's been hard trying to accept that he isn't. It's been about two months and my meds are at the right dosage which is so so helpful, and I got a second job and have been practicing positive self talk. It finally feels like there will be good days to come. 
I guess this is more of a vent than a question, but I've been lurking the past few days and everyone here seemed really nice and supportive. 

[Deleted]

Welcome.  Just because you weren't married doesn't mean a breakup is less upsetting.  The most horrendous, sad breakup I had was with a boyfriend that I dated for nearly 8 years.  It sucked, but it got better with time.   I didn't feel that bad when I got divorced from my xh--that was a relief!!  

I'm sorry that you're having a rough time of it and facing changes with your living situation as well.  Things will look up, but it takes time.  There's a great bunch of ladies here so stick around.  Hugs.  

[Mrs.Rad888]

Sorry you find yourself here. 
Don't let anyone tell you that your breakup isn't a real breakup. Like @blueyes623, my most painful breakup was with a former BF, it totally eclipsed any pain I might have felt when my marriage broke up. It wasn't even with someone I thought about spending my life with, but only because we knew we weren't in a place to be thinking about that. 
It's hard to lose the person you thought you'd be with forever, even more when you also lose your support system. 
What I did was remind myself every day that I'd gotten over heartbreak before, and I was going to get through this one, and that I only needed to get through one day at a time, then I could lose myself in sleep. It took a while, but eventually he wasn't the first thing I thought about when I woke up. Of course, it took longer to get to the point when thinking about him didn't hurt any more, but I did get there, and you will too.
Hugs.

[heywhat]

Positive self talk is really powerful! Good for you for practicing and working on yourself. I think that is something many of the folks here will encourage you to do - focus on yourself and being your best self. After my divorce I was able to pick up hobbies I had only dreamed of and really grow into the person I wanted to be.

I also recommend the book "Mind Over Mood" it is a workbook that can help you identify negative feelings, where they are coming from, and work to focus them into more realistic or positive responses.

[glitzyglow]

Four years is a long time to be with someone, married or not. I'm sorry you've experienced this, but it sounds like you are taking great steps to help yourself heal.

[glynn]

Good Luck you will be fine.

[bg]

Continue to be kind to yourself and focus on the positive. You're right about the good days to come.

[puggaho]

Thank you :] I'm always scared to check responses online because so many people are cruel behind screens. It's a big relief that several of you have experienced hard breakups, I don't feel so bad about my feelings now. I have been trying to focus on myself but I've never been quite sure what that entails. It seems selfish but I'm trying to unlearn that!