Why You Don't Do Business With "Friends"

[underwaterrhymes]

Back in September 2014, I sent someone a bunch of K's baby clothes to make a quilt along with $80 for supplies.

I didn't really set a deadline initially because I trusted her and knew she did beautiful work. She initially indicated it would take two - three months.

Two to three months came and went. As more time passed, I grew a bit more impatient and have asked for updates. She's not been good about responding promptly, but due to some health issues her family was having, I was willing to cut her some slack.

She's promised on several occasions to send the finished product my way. Before N's birth. Christmas. K's birthday. All have passed and no quilt.

A few times I offered for her to just send the clothes back, no questions asked. I know she's had some tough times and I didn't want this to add to it.

She always declined (swearing she loved sewing) until finally I just told her, "I know you're stressed. These clothes have sentimental value to us. Please just send them back."

Twice now she's said they were in a box and she would send them to me. The other day she even said they were in her car and she would ship them on her way home.

That was over a week ago and still no baby clothes.

And now she's totally fallen off the map and has not responded to any of my multiple messages via multiple avenues.

I'm so upset. This is someone I have supported on multiple occasions. IDGAF about the money. I just want K's baby clothes.

It might seem stupid to be so sad over baby clothes, but I am. And I'm fucking angry. I can't believe this person is blowing me off like this. Be a fucking responsible grown up and tell me what the fuck is going on.

She is absolutely responding to other people because I've seen her active on social media (and through an etsy store she runs).

WWYD at this point? Is there anything I can do?

(And the stupid part is I still feel empathy for this person because she's been through a lot and that's so dumb of me, but I can't help it.)

[underwaterrhymes]

May 19, 2016 21:13:53 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

I would be so angry. Are you comfortable taking the situation public (via social media) if you haven't already? Maybe she needs a little visibility and shame.

LOL.

I kind of am.

[underwaterrhymes]

May 19, 2016 21:15:10 GMT -5 googled said:

At this point, I'd just be honest with her.

"I know that you've had a rough go lately, so I'm trying not to take it personally, but I'm very upset that you haven't made an effort to return my belongings. These clothes have a lot of sentimental value to me and I would really appreciate it if you'd return them by Sunday. If you need me to come get them, I can do that too."

Something like that. She clearly doesn't respect your feelings, I wouldn't go too much out of my way to respect hers.

Oh, I have. Several times. (she doesn't live near me.)

[DeeDee]

A photographer did this to me with newborn pictures of my daughter. After waiting months with no response I reported her to the BBB. That lit a fire under her ass because the photos were to me two days later. I would start leaving messages on her social media. I'm sure she wouldn't want other customers to see that she's a flake.

[isabel]

Is she local to you? Can you just go to her house?

eta: Never mind. Just saw she's not.

[papie]

Oh no.  I'm upset for you

Do you have anyone local to her that could just go get the clothes?

[underwaterrhymes]

May 19, 2016 21:17:17 GMT -5 isabel said:

Is she local to you? Can you just go to her house?

No, she lives quite a distance from me.

[FastHands]

Ugh, I'm sorry.
The only thing I could think of would be to schedule a mail pickup at her house, maybe? Then you could say "pls affix this label and leave on your doorstep"? Then yiu are out extra money, but maybe more likely to light a fire under her?

I'm sorry. That's so shitty.

[Kit]

She posted above that the subject is not local to her.

[isabel]

Maybe she's local to one of us!  (devil)

[FastHands]

May 19, 2016 21:14:50 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 19, 2016 21:13:53 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

I would be so angry. Are you comfortable taking the situation public (via social media) if you haven't already? Maybe she needs a little visibility and shame.

LOL.

I kind of am.

Oh snap. So it's someone here, yah?

SPLAIN YOURSELF, WHOEVER YOU ARE!

[Kit]

Ding ding ding.

[dd1204]

I would blast her all over social media, petty I know but by know she's showing you she gives not two fucks about your feelings. Is been too long for her not to have done the quilt or sent your clothes back.

[TR]

May 19, 2016 21:19:04 GMT -5 isabel said:

Maybe she's local to one of us!  (devil)

This is what I was going to say. One of us can show up on her doorstep, lol. 

[underwaterrhymes]

May 19, 2016 21:19:38 GMT -5 @meepmeep said:

Do you think she lost/damaged them and is lying to you about it? I would be livid. You've given her an out, if she would just take it.

Yes.

Honestly, I think she doesn't have them anymore and hasn't for some time.

[m15]

Yeah, speaking from experience...blast her all over. That's ridiculous. My son is almost 4 and I still don't have newborn pics of our whole family with him. Chick totally quit the business. I'm still livid over it. She's a mom too and should get it. I even showed up at her house and she hid in her basement from me (me, a 5 ft 120 lb person!)

[TR]

May 19, 2016 21:22:05 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 19, 2016 21:19:38 GMT -5 @meepmeep said:

Do you think she lost/damaged them and is lying to you about it? I would be livid. You've given her an out, if she would just take it.

Yes.

Honestly, I think she doesn't have them anymore and hasn't for some time.

But where would they have gone?

[muffin0]

May 19, 2016 21:19:12 GMT -5 FastHands said:

May 19, 2016 21:14:50 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

LOL.

I kind of am.

Oh snap. So it's someone here, yah?

SPLAIN YOURSELF, WHOEVER YOU ARE!

OH SHIT!!! 

[isabel]

That would be so unbelievably shitty if that's the case. I sincerely hope she's just being lazy and thoughtless.

[sparkythelawyer]

It's not right. UWR deserves better than this

[toledo]

Did you by any chance leave a bad review at her etsy shop?

[papie]

Ok, it's someone from here? CALL HER OUT. This is really fucking shitty and deserves a board flaming giant pile-on.

[sparkythelawyer]

May 19, 2016 21:22:46 GMT -5 TR said:

May 19, 2016 21:22:05 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Yes.

Honestly, I think she doesn't have them anymore and hasn't for some time.

But where would they have gone?

She probably just lost them.

[TR]

May 19, 2016 21:24:16 GMT -5 toledo said:

Did you by any chance leave a bad review at her etsy shop?

I thought that turned out to be the dentist guy in MD. 

[Kit]

I'm appalled that someone who UWR (and many others) supported (mentally AND financially) would do this, and not at least just be honest about whatever happened to the clothes.

[speckledfrog]

May 19, 2016 21:22:05 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 19, 2016 21:19:38 GMT -5 @meepmeep said:

Do you think she lost/damaged them and is lying to you about it? I would be livid. You've given her an out, if she would just take it.

Yes.

Honestly, I think she doesn't have them anymore and hasn't for some time.

Who is it? Where would they have gone? I have serious angst for you.

[underwaterrhymes]

May 19, 2016 21:22:46 GMT -5 TR said:

May 19, 2016 21:22:05 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Yes.

Honestly, I think she doesn't have them anymore and hasn't for some time.

But where would they have gone?

Part of me wonders if she gave them away, but maybe the idea she had for the quilt wasn't working and she'd already cut them? I don't know how quilt making works. In her early messages, she seemed to have already started working on it, but in her later ones, she seems to indicate it's just the clothes.

So I don't know.

[underwaterrhymes]

May 19, 2016 21:24:16 GMT -5 toledo said:

Did you by any chance leave a bad review at her etsy shop?

You are so smart and I miss you.

[TR]

May 19, 2016 21:25:31 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

May 19, 2016 21:22:46 GMT -5 TR said:

But where would they have gone?

Part of me wonders if she gave them away, but maybe the idea she had for the quilt wasn't working and she'd already cut them? I don't know how quilt making works. In her early messages, she seemed to have already started working on it, but in her later ones, she seems to indicate it's just the clothes.

So I don't know.

Weird. I don't get how people can't just be honest. 

[underwaterrhymes]

toledo and TR are there.