Crap got real...

[asoctoberfalls]

I am so sorry you're dealing with this - what a nightmare!!

[Linie]

Do not feel guilty over this, please! He was angry and violent. The crying is just manipulation, nothing else.

Big hugs

[cuddlyevil]

You did everything right. He was angry and violent, you had no choice but to protect yourself.

[jojoandleo]

This is classic abuser. I completely understand your emotions. I have been there. I have loved someone who treated me like crap, then would come back all puppy eyes like HE was the victim. AND I BELIEVED IT! Seriously, though, Google about DV. This is what they do. They threaten, harass, and abuse you (mentally if not physically) then cry and beg for forgiveness. He's not sorry for what he did, he's sorry it didn't work and is trying a new tactic.

I would google some DV counsellors in your area and talk to one. Being with someone like this is such a mind fuck. Good on you for protecting yourself. You did everything RIGHT.

[bg]

Ditto everyone else -- you did the right thing. I'm sorry you had to go through that!

[glitzyglow]

You absolutely did the right thing and did nothing wrong. He was in the wrong.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Get mad and get a Restraining Order ASAP !

you did NOTHING wrong and he did EVERYTHING wrong, let him suffer the consequences.

I don't know what state you're in but in CA they have RO's specific to DV that are more restrictive than your basic RO. I have one of those (drug addict/DV xh) and the peace of mind it's given is worth the hassle. In any event, document-document-document ANY contact he has w you, good bad or ugly. You may need this later.

[stephreloaded]

You did the right thing. He knows he screwed up and now wants to act all sweet to get you back and not suffering the consequences of his acts.

Hope things go well for you.

[Deleted]

So my XH was military. I had to get a no contact order put in place for 30 days. As soon as it was over he was called me and threatened me and also saying how he was going to kill my dogs while I was at work. This turned into three months no contact order and I ended up sleeping with a baseball bat out of fear and had to leave my dogs with a friend all day to ensure their safety. After all that, he asked if we could start dating again and how sorry he was.

It's 100% completely emotional abuse. I'm sorry, I thought you two lived separately. The military can put a no contact order between the two of you without a police report. His actions are what got him/is getting him in trouble. Not you.

[brooke77]

I'm sorry you went through that. You did the right thing. Take care of yourself.

[sparkythelawyer]

Protect your physical safety. He is dangerous. I am sorry this is happening to you.

[jenstar]

I agree with jojo, this is classic abuser behaviour. You set a firm boundary by calling the command and looking out for yourself, that was the right thing to do. It's not your fault if he can't accept responsibility for his own actions, and letting him off the hook would not be helping him ever realize there's a problem with his behaviour. There are consequences in life, and most people understand that by the time they're grown up..

[Dory1988]

Thank you all for the supportive words. The last few days have been rough on my brain thinking about it all and hurting and what not. I've been coming back to this post to kind of help me cope with my thoughts and reading your responses which have definitely helped me to remain strong in my decisions. I truly am tired of the manipulation. I'm ready to stop walking on egg shells and choosing my actions to please someone else. I want to be me again.