Name Change

[Dory1988]

Does anyone know if I can legally change my name prior to my divorce being final?

[TR]

I mean, I think you CAN, but it takes a lot more work and costs money. My mom waited a looooong time to change her name after her divorce (like 15 years) so she had to do it like anyone else wanting a name change and it involved petitioning the court and paying fees and stuff. It's much easier to do it once you have divorce decree.

[Deleted]

It has to be court ordered to change your name. So it's usually listed in your decree like mine said "FirstName Lime will revert to her Maiden name of Lemon" or something like that. So you can technically change your name if you file paperwork within the courts to just change your name. But it will be cheaper to wait until you have your divorce decree.

[doglove]

I think you can as well, it's just a lot more work.

[Deleted]

I agree with others.

[Deleted]

Now I'm curious as to why you would like to change it before your divorce is finalize.

[pinkdutchtulips]

May 23, 2016 12:15:15 GMT -5 @lemonlover said:

Now I'm curious as to why you would like to change it before your divorce is finalize.

if I had changed mine (I didn't, I kept my maiden name when I got married) I would have wanted to change it before the divorce was finalized just to distance myself from his craziness

[Dory1988]

I just want to distance myself from him and from everything, especially with us being at the same command and I still have people like "oh you're Petty Officer FMF's wife I work/worked with him and he's so awesome". I'm just so over it after the recent events. I just want to be like "no he's a dick and I'm not his wife leave me alone". I'm in the anger stage I think.

[bg]

I changed mine prior to the divorce being finalized. I was going to change it back regardless of whether we got divorced or not. I also wanted to make sure my maiden name was on my PhD diploma and the whole process was taking forever. It did cost more to do it, but for me it was sooooooo worth it.

[brooke77]

May 23, 2016 12:30:19 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

I just want to distance myself from him and from everything, especially with us being at the same command and I still have people like "oh you're Petty Officer FMF's wife I work/worked with him and he's so awesome". I'm just so over it after the recent events. I just want to be like "no he's a dick and I'm not his wife leave me alone". I'm in the anger stage I think.

Do you have to legally change your name? I am not familiar with military protocol so that may be a dumb question. I know that it is common for many women to resume using their maiden name before they LEGALLY change their name. 

I'm in a field where it is pretty common for a professional name to be different than a legal name.

[Deleted]

Oh. I guess a name is a name to me. I almost contemplated not changing my name except my married name was SO difficult to spell over the phone and it was effed up all the time and hard to pronounce. I will not change my name again unless it's easier than my maiden.

[verycontrary247]

May 23, 2016 12:30:19 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

I just want to distance myself from him and from everything, especially with us being at the same command and I still have people like "oh you're Petty Officer FMF's wife I work/worked with him and he's so awesome". I'm just so over it after the recent events. I just want to be like "no he's a dick and I'm not his wife leave me alone". I'm in the anger stage I think.

There are people in the military with the same last name who aren't married or related.

I get not wanting to be associated with him, but it's probably not worth the time/effort/$$$ to get it done beforehand. Just get your name tapes made and ready.

[Dory1988]

May 24, 2016 18:05:54 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

May 23, 2016 12:30:19 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

I just want to distance myself from him and from everything, especially with us being at the same command and I still have people like "oh you're Petty Officer FMF's wife I work/worked with him and he's so awesome". I'm just so over it after the recent events. I just want to be like "no he's a dick and I'm not his wife leave me alone". I'm in the anger stage I think.

There are people in the military with the same last name who aren't married or related.

I get not wanting to be associated with him, but it's probably not worth the time/effort/$$$ to get it done beforehand. Just get your name tapes made and ready.

While I definitely get the point you're making, it makes a difference to me because he is well known in the command, we are at the same command, and he is higher ranking than me. There's a lot more that goes in to my decision other than just, "I can't have the same name as someone else at my workplace."

[Deleted]

May 25, 2016 6:09:47 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

May 24, 2016 18:05:54 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

There are people in the military with the same last name who aren't married or related.

I get not wanting to be associated with him, but it's probably not worth the time/effort/$$$ to get it done beforehand. Just get your name tapes made and ready.

While I definitely get the point you're making, it makes a difference to me because he is well known in the command, we are at the same command, and he is higher ranking than me. There's a lot more that goes in to my decision other than just, "I can't have the same name as someone else at my workplace."

You will still be associated with him with or without the name change, ya know? Military is a small world. I ran into people I knew at a CONUS base when I was TDY OCONUS (when my XH was actually deployed there too!ugh) and they didn't realized we divorced 2+ years after it happened. I know it sucks right now but unless you live in a state where it takes 1 year of separation plus a 6 month filing period, I would wait it out. He's out-processing, ya?

[bg]

May 25, 2016 6:09:47 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

While I definitely get the point you're making, it makes a difference to me because he is well known in the command, we are at the same command, and he is higher ranking than me. There's a lot more that goes in to my decision other than just, "I can't have the same name as someone else at my workplace."

I think everyone will tell you that this is the time to be kind to yourself and do what's best for you. So, if it's not cost or time prohibitive, I don't see the big deal with moving forward with the name change. Do what makes you feel good about yourself.