S/o name change

[closertofine]

Especially if you have kids.

How did you decide to revert back to your maiden name? I'm waffling daily. I cannot seem to make a decision. My gut says I want to change it, but I don't want the hassle. This summer would be ideal because I am a teacher, so it will be easy to start with my maiden name in the fall and the decree should come out sometime this summer.

My kids are 3 and 4. I honestly think they don't know my last name. I would never get upset if a teacher called me by their last name or anything.

School might be a little awkward at first, but the students adapted 10 years ago when I got married, and they'll adapt again.

I don't know why I'm so torn on this.

[cuddlyevil]

I'm lazy and it's a pain in the ass. So, I want to do it, but I am going to wait until I get married again. Or I get tired of being "Mrs. H".

[thedutchgirl]

I don't have kids and I'm not changing my name. It is my career name and how I am known. So I am keeping it.

[stephreloaded]

DD and I don't have the same last name and it has never been an issue. I am sometimes called Mrs ex last name but I just correct the person and go about my way.

[btdt]

I reverted to my maiden name, and changed my daughters' name, too, about a year after the divorce was final. Had to have ex's permission, but it was totally worth it to me.

[somersault72]

I don't like my maiden name and I wanted to still have the same name as DS. I will be changing my name when I get married this year, but will keep my current last name in there somewhere because I want to use it at DS's school (and possibly at work).

[housewife]

STBXH is super possessive about "his" last name and told me I had to change it. In my anger phase of it all, I was ready to change it that day. Now, not so much. I think I'll use my maiden name (which is my middle name) socially, and my married name legally.

[pinkdutchtulips]

May 25, 2016 8:34:30 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

DD and I don't have the same last name and it has never been an issue. I am sometimes called Mrs ex last name but I just correct the person and go about my way.

this .. DD and I have different last names (I never changed mine legally when I got married) and it hasn't been a problem for either of us. I was never hung up on all of us having the same last name. Socially I used xh's name when we were married, once we split I dropped his about 4 months later. No one calls me Mrs Xh's name bc no one I interact w on a daily basis knows me by xh's last name.

[stephreloaded]

May 25, 2016 10:36:14 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

May 25, 2016 8:34:30 GMT -5 stephreloaded said:

DD and I don't have the same last name and it has never been an issue. I am sometimes called Mrs ex last name but I just correct the person and go about my way.

this .. DD and I have different last names (I never changed mine legally when I got married) and it hasn't been a problem for either of us. I was never hung up on all of us having the same last name. Socially I used xh's name when we were married, once we split I dropped his about 4 months later. No one calls me Mrs Xh's name bc no one I interact w on a daily basis knows me by xh's last name.

Usually when DD goes to the Dr in the US or when I pick her up at day care there. Other than that, people always assume I'm her nanny. 

[1confused1]

I established myself in my career with my married last name so I won't be changing it.

[statlerwaldorf]

I never had a strong connection to my maiden name. I'm not close with that side of the family. I got married at 19, so I always went by my married name as an adult. It also seemed like a big hassle, so I didn't change it.

I am engaged and planning on taking his name when we get married. We have two kids together and they have his last name.

Not having the same last name does bother my 7 year old, but I think a lot of this has to do with my exH being a shitbag and her wanting FI to be her dad. Also that her half siblings would have the same last name.

[glynn]

Sooo, I have been married twice. I recently got divorced for the second time and changed my name back to my previous married name. I did not want to go back to my maiden name it just did not feel right. I go married the 1st time at 18. I have 2 kids from my 1st marriage and we all have the same last name. I got married in 2006 to XH which had a very different name. only 7 people in this town with the name. I also get asked well do you know ... with last name often. Why yes..... So I did not want that connection so I went back to my former name and DD2 and I will have different names. My former name was not from around here either so only my 2 kids and myself have it in our town.

[pinkdutchtulips]

May 25, 2016 11:59:27 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I established myself in my career with my married last name so I won't be changing it.

I didn't change mine at work bc I established myself in my maiden name (married at 32) but one firm I worked at after I got married took it upon themselves to make my biz cards w/o asking me how I wanted my name and assumed I went by my husband's ln. Next firm I worked at asked thank god bc at that point we had dd who has xh's last name and I went by both ln at work.

[katieido]

It was important to me and part of my personal process of reclaiming my identity, and get back on my own path.

It was a pain in the ass w/r/t obtaining the required legal documentation, but note that I'm legally back to the name I was born with, I'm happy about it and it was worth the trouble.
I started a new career last December, before my divorce was final. At that time, I let them know I was going to use my maiden name professionally so in terms of that it has been smooth.

My daughter doesn't seem perturbed about my name change, but we chat about it and she understands that it is my family name. I don't have plans to change her last name, unless at some point in the future she wanted to.

[dancelnow]

I don't plan to change mine. I don't like my maiden name, I've been this for most of my professional career, it's the same as DS and I won't have more kids, and if I do marry again, I might as well save the interim confusion

[verycontrary247]

I changed mine back.

It was a big deal because I love my last name and I was guilted into changing it to exHs.

If I were to get married again I would not change it.

[bg]

May 25, 2016 17:20:14 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I changed mine back.

It was a big deal because I love my last name and I was guilted into changing it to exHs.

If I were to get married again I would not change it.

All of this is me too.

[Deleted]

No kids and I was married for under one year.  There was no way in hell I was keeping his name after that shit show.  Plus his name was very obviously one of a different background/nationality than me and people constantly questioned me about it while I used it.  
I'm honestly unsure that I will ever change my name again, unless there is a way I could keep my name at work on my license to work etc.  My name isn't common or easy, but it's mine.  J's name is common like smith, so if we get married, I'm not sure if I'd care to use it....

[riverpestie]

I was only married 16 months before XH and I separated. It was such a short marriage that I had no connection with it, so I changed my name back to my maiden name.
In my current marriage, I kept my maiden name. All my diplomas are in my maiden name and work contacts know me by this name... plus, I am too lazy to change it.

[styme46]

Ditto cuddlyevil. It was a nightmare to change it the first time around, I didn't want to deal with it. I waited until I got married again to change it again. I don't have any issues with having a different last name then dd.

[sweetchix]

I went back to my maiden name. We have 2 DDs. It does not bother them that we have a different last name (although DD1 has commented that she wishes that were her last name too ). If I were to get married again, I do not plan on changing my name.

ETA: also, it would not bother me if someone were to mistakenly call me Mrs. MarriedName because it is DDs last name.