I feel like they could've told the kids numerous other things about why they aren't to go into that room: "There are no toys in there" "There is paint and it is not safe" "There is stuff that is not to play with" "We don't play around paint" "There are dangerous things we don't play around" "It is not a room we play in"
and on and on. Why they seemingly jumped to monsters as a reasoning is beyond me. I wouldn't be too thrilled but I wouldn't be super pissed UNLESS it was having a negative effect on my kid and effecting her sleep and daily life. If that was the case because she was all of a sudden afraid of monsters then hell yeah I would talk to the director about it.
But did NQB ever ask if they tried any of those explanations? Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. But I would at least give the teacher a chance to explain how it came up before assuming they were terrible, lazy teachers who rely on scare tactics without explaining the truth.
I feel like this is one of those threads that could have gone either way based on the first 10 responses.
I have no idea if she asked. I would ask for clarification before going all mama bear on the director.
First of all, I think you have been posting here long enough to know that you are not breezy at all.
Well this is only the third issue I've had in nearly three years that I've complained about to the daycare so in that regard I think I am. When others are mad about food served, nap schedules not being respected, etc. I'm usually on team daycare.
Post by MadamePresident on May 31, 2016 9:40:19 GMT -5
I'd be annoyed. I try to be intentional about how I present potential "scary" things. BUT I'm pretty sure that by letting my kids watch Little Einsteins, I've unintentionally exposed them to monsters, witches, etc... It happens. I'd probably just move on. Maybe it was originally started by some other kid in the classs.
I would have asked Bob to tell DS there are no monsters and he was just kidding around, and that he is completely safe. I would not have gone to the director.
They told your child there were monsters in a closet so he wouldn't go in there?
I guess I am not breezy. I would be pissed. Pissed. Just tell the kids it's off limits, tell them why if you wish. Move on. Scare tactics? Nope.
This is where I'm at. M's sole purpose in life right now is to push boundaries. I still don't lie or make up scare tactics to get her to not do something. You're not allowed in the room with the paint (or in our case, by the cat litter box, the dog food, etc.) for your own safety. End of story. Repeat repeat repeat. I'm not making up ridiculous explanations for shit. I don't have time to remember those little white lies. You're not allowed in there for your own safety. Paint is toxic, the dog gets angry when you go by his food, the cat litter box is gross, etc. I may have to say those things until I'm blue in the face, but so be it.
Apparently this is one of my soapbox issues. But.. we also do Santa. Hypocrite, party of one??
I need @vicmo to sign in. The more I think about it, the less breezy I get. Monsters? Do your job and keep the kids away from danger without lying! Or, you know what, for $2k a month you can paint the stupid daycare on the weekend.
You know those childcare workers are getting very little of that 2k/month.
Oh I know that. My issue is that they interrupted the kid's rooms to have the daycare painted during the day while the kids were there.
My first thought was that it's likely a licensing violation to have paint cans unsecured like that.
This is what I'd be most upset about. I mean, our daycare had a violation once for leaving a large bottle of handsoap on a counter over the kids' heads rather than in a secured cabinet. A whole unsecured storage area full of paint has to be a major violation.
Post by dulcemariamar on May 31, 2016 9:49:14 GMT -5
I would be annoyed. I would want to avoid anything that could mess with my kids sleep. If they are going to scare my LO, will they be at my house at night when she is too afraid to go to sleep?
This is what I'd be most upset about. I mean, our daycare had a violation once for leaving a large bottle of handsoap on a counter over the kids' heads rather than in a secured cabinet. A whole unsecured storage area full of paint has to be a major violation.
I feel like the monster thing is an aside to this bigger issue. DD's daycare used to take walks through an underpass-type structure where sound was magnified like whoa. The teachers told the kids they had to be quiet so as to not wake the bear. Sometimes adults use "tricks" to compel behavior. But this was a scenario that shouldn't have been happening in the first place. If I read the OP correctly, the center just didn't lock the door. so I'm very about that.
Yes thanks for explaining this. I feel like we were already tolerating the chaotic conditions of the two week paint job so it wasn't like the "monster" comment was a one-off but, IMO, an improper way to handle the situation when they should have just closed the door.
Yeah the whole monster thing doesn't bother me. It's the fact that they even need to use something like that to keep the kids out of AN UNSECURED ROOM OF PAINT CANS that would be my issue.
But did NQB ever ask if they tried any of those explanations? Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. But I would at least give the teacher a chance to explain how it came up before assuming they were terrible, lazy teachers who rely on scare tactics without explaining the truth.
I feel like this is one of those threads that could have gone either way based on the first 10 responses.
Well we had already said goodbye and left but we came back into the room to (hopefully) have Bob set the record straight that there were no monsters in the closet. Which he didn't do. So at that point we just left and told Ben there were no monsters and Bob was being silly.
It sounds like it was the end of the day, which is always crazy. Maybe Bob just did not fully understand what you were trying to do. Also, there are plenty of times DD comes home saying something that came from another kid magnifying it. Could that be what happened here? I understand he may be scared now, but you can explain there are no monsters, etc. I know at 3.5 I am able to explain to DD certain things are not real and are just pretend.
I mean it drives me nuts when daycare makes parenting harder. The young toddlers are told not to share food, but the older toddlers are told "share only with mommy and daddy". Now half of every meal is spent negotiating the minimum amount of V's food that we're going to eat to avoid a tantrum. So I feel you.
The flip side as PPs have pointed out is that after enough kids try to peek in there, some teacher at the end of their rope is going to shoot the gorilla say whatever it takes to get all the kids to stop being nosy.
V at least intellectually understands that things are "just pretend" but lots of things are still scary. He does pretty well with "only for grownups" because we drink lots of coffee and booze. So maybe you can show him the paint once and say "see, the monster are just pretend, just paint. BUT the paint is only for grownups".
Breezy: parent shrugs it off as eh, he probably said it jokingly or didn't realize the effects. Whatever.
Semi-breezy: parent talks to Bob and says not cool.
Not breezy: talks to the director.
Should you have been more breezy? Yep. Of all things directors need to be concerned about, this isn't one of them. Talk to the offending party first if it really bothers you-then escalate. I mean-how many times have people said that here about more serious issues?!
This really bothers me. when your kid says 'I think there are monsters in my room' the correct answer is not 'there are no monsters in your room' The correct answer is 'there are no such thing as monsters'
I would be super pissed that someone was scaring my kid. She wakes up as it is, has to sleep with the light on, etc. She would never believe me. Lying to kids is not cool.
And I feel like there is some kind of reasoning for not lying about monsters due to child abuse too. My H told me.
I feel like it is hard to have an opinion one way or the other without actually knowing what was said and the context in which it was said. But regardless I personally would not be worked up about it.
Oh, and if he made a point to say they were "good monsters," the whole thing may have been a cute story he told the kids. "Monster Sully and Monster Mike work in the closet there. They love kids and their job is to make sure everyone stays safe and stays away from the paint!" I mean, if he was like "Dracula will eat your face off if you go in there" I'd be concerned but it doesn't sound like that's what happened. And instead of clarifying exactly what the kids were told (and discussing what was going on with Ben, which is totally reasonable to be concerned about) you went above his head.Â
I mean, how would any of us feel if someone complained to our boss before talking to us about a concern?
Ok I'm back. Bob sort of ignored me at pickup which made me feel less bad about talking to the assistant director.
We are on the waiting list for this great center which is just highlighting everything that I feel is lacking at our place. The new place talked about respecting children and how they even will ask baby's permission to change their diaper etc. It just struck me as everything I want for my kids - to be respected and have their feelings acknowledged. I'm just so repelled by the "because I said so" mentality when it comes to parenting (and if you knew my family you'd know why). This is also coming on the heels of his other teacher calling me in front of Ben to tell me he was being bad (which I wasn't even upset about until people here pointed out that it wasn't cool). I think I'm just fed up there.
Is this where I confess that I use "monsters" all the time to get my (young/gullible) kids to do stuff. After battling the hair washing/hair brushing battle forever I came up with "knot monsters" bring in their hair that I need to wash & brush out. I'm pretty sure I've done sugar bugs or sugar monsters to get them to brush teeth willingly too. I started this with DD1 and all the girls since. None are actively scared of monsters (had a blast at Disney Monsters U Ride) nor talk about them...but when I mention the knot monsters DD4 is more cooperative with the hair issues. Not sure the age they figure out I'm kidding them but they do eventually.
Post by vanillacourage on May 31, 2016 21:39:56 GMT -5
If you're mad about the reno, then talk to the director about the reno. Like you! I believe that if I'm paying for care and entrusting my children to a school, I expect a certain level of expediousness when it comes to safety....so speak up. I was at DS1's school and saw they'd started locking one of the sets of gym doors. I asked DS if they were locked on purpose and he said yes, the kids were going out into the hall too much so the after-school teachers found what they thought was a solution. Except, hello, fire code. I talked to the director that day and they were never locked again.
Ok I'm back. Bob sort of ignored me at pickup which made me feel less bad about talking to the assistant director.
We are on the waiting list for this great center which is just highlighting everything that I feel is lacking at our place. The new place talked about respecting children and how they even will ask baby's permission to change their diaper etc. It just struck me as everything I want for my kids - to be respected and have their feelings acknowledged. I'm just so repelled by the "because I said so" mentality when it comes to parenting (and if you knew my family you'd know why). This is also coming on the heels of his other teacher calling me in front of Ben to tell me he was being bad (which I wasn't even upset about until people here pointed out that it wasn't cool). I think I'm just fed up there.
Thanks all for weighing in.
wait.
what?
It sounds out there but reading more about it made me confident it's what I would prefer. See:
Ok I'm back. Bob sort of ignored me at pickup which made me feel less bad about talking to the assistant director.
We are on the waiting list for this great center which is just highlighting everything that I feel is lacking at our place. The new place talked about respecting children and how they even will ask baby's permission to change their diaper etc. It just struck me as everything I want for my kids - to be respected and have their feelings acknowledged. I'm just so repelled by the "because I said so" mentality when it comes to parenting (and if you knew my family you'd know why). This is also coming on the heels of his other teacher calling me in front of Ben to tell me he was being bad (which I wasn't even upset about until people here pointed out that it wasn't cool). I think I'm just fed up there.
Thanks all for weighing in.
What if the baby says no?
I can imagine how completely unsuccessful that would be here. Lol. My kid says no every single time. Well, more like "NO! Nooooooo! nononononono!" I mean, I can only let him run around in a shit diaper for so long.
ETA - I also sometimes (a lot of times) bribe him with a mini cookie so he'll hold still for long enough for me to easily change his diaper.
Post by Cioccolato on May 31, 2016 23:51:04 GMT -5
Thats weird. And a dumb way to keep kids out of the room. I think I would tell my preschools "its not a safe room for kids, we can't go in there". If they ask I would say the products aren't safe for children's bodies. I think I've had to explain this before and the kids listen without monster stories.