work stuff for IK

[georgeharrison]

You asked for it @ksta.  It's borinig and all "woe is me" and FWP, but here you go.

I didn't work for a long time, right?  And then I got a retail job and then I got contacted for a job in my old industry for part time work which is perfect.  So I started there in June 2014.  It was a start up and in late summer 2015, a bank recalled a loan and they laid off 30%.  My last day was Sept 1, I got another job 11 days later...very fortunate.  I was super excited to work at this company, too.  It's a well known Seattle company in my inustry and a lot of my connections via LinkedIn were either there NOW or had done a stint there.  I hated it.  It sucked.  It was in the same department that I have always been in, but a different role.  That was okay, but not what I would prefer.  This is all the background story that you all know.  My boss literally wouldn't talk to me at all even though my desk was right outside his office.  The department was all screwy and was turning against each other.  They wanted someone to work full time, but I managed to get them to allow 30 hours/week...it was still a lot for me, but I was trying to count my blessings for getting a job so quickly and for not having to work full time.  It was a temp-hire type deal, though, so I kept my eye open for something else in case they weren't able to bring me on an "employee." 

In December, I was contacted by the company that let me go asking if would be interested in putting some hours in to helping them.  Sure.  That has been ongoing ever since. 

In Feb. I saw this listing for my current job.  I applied, was contacted that same day for some additional info, called the next day to set up an interview for two days later.  I got an offer the following week and started two weeks later.  This was a little less $ but 24 hours/week and back to doing the same role as I'm comfortable with, but a different industry.  I thought it would all be the same.

It has been fine.  I really like my boss.  Like as a boss and as a person.  She's great.  The people are great.  The work, however, is not interesting.  The product is not something I care about or believe in.  I know that's spoiled. 

In March, my old company that I have been doing contract work for, started this huge project and solicited my help.  I agreed and have really enjoyed the work.  I feel like I can really contribute.  All this time, the person who I am reporting to as a contractor (my old boss was let go, too, so this someone that was there before the layoffs, but has moved into this mangerial position since) has said that she really wishes she could bring me back.  Like says it all the time.  Of course the budget hasn't allowed that, so I didn't take it as an offer or anything like that. I didn't quit my job.

In May, she says to me that they are expecting to be able to start hiring again in June and that she will be really pushing to bring me back at that time. It got my hopes up, I won't deny, because it wasn't just a vague "wish" it was like "I want to bring you back and I'm going to work at making that happen."

So, I was in there all day yesterday working on this project. She tells me that the timeline for hiring has been pushed to July and she's not even sure about that. Bummer, but not surprising.

Then, later, we are talking about a sub-project she wants help on.  She spent a lot of time talking about it.  I'm like sure, I can do that. Then she asks when I think I can get it done. Well, yesterday was my "day off," so I'm back to work today and then we are headed straight up to my parents after work to visit with my sis and then next week, my day off is going to be spent at Tman's 5th grade graduation and awards and then hosting my bro who is flying in mid-day. We'll spend the weekend with him, and then I have my real work Monday-Tues and then I'll take Wed-Fri off. So, I told her by the end of the 17th for sure. She says, 'Oh, we need this by Monday." It made me feel like poop. I had enjoyed the whole day there and then this came up right at the end. And it made me really upset, because THAT is the work that I really want to be doing, but I can't because I have a job. If that was my job, I could get it done in one day...probably a half day, but I told her that I can't work all day and then go home and say, "Sorry Tman, I have to work." I can sometimes for a bit at my own leisure, but not on a deadline like this.

I'm just really bummed about that right now.  I want to do the work.  I want to get it done in a reasonable amount of time, but I just don't have that extra time.  The only way I would have been able to get that done by Monday is to do it last night after being at their office all day.   

It's looking like I'm going to have to tell my old company that I won't be able to help them anymore, and that sucks, because I prefer that work.  And also because I'm afraid that when they are ready to hire again, I will be forgotten about.  

@ksta, did that put you to sleep?

[Deleted]

No it didn't put me to sleep And I can really understand.

Here's my take: yes, we are grateful to have a job that suits certain needs. For you, that means working less than full time allowing you to spend more time with your son. For me, that means they have been really considerate regarding my health situation, taking time off for PT, etc. BUT...that doesn't mean we are ungrateful or wretches just because we don't enjoy what we do, find it boring, and get no satisfaction from it. Thing is, most people want to feel like they are contributing in a meaningful way and especially to something that interests them and is engaging. I don't think that makes anyone selfish for wanting that and feeling unfulfilled when they don't have it.

I don't know that when they're ready to hire again that you will be forgotten about. I also wouldn't be so quick to say you can't help them anymore just because of this one project disappointment (unless there are other reasons you didn't list here?) Look at it like freelancing - sometimes you want to do a project but just don't have the space left in your schedule to match their deadline, even if though it's something you're really interested in. It sucks and is disappointing. But just because you couldn't help on this project doesn't mean there aren't other projects you can still help on if its timeline matches up well enough with your free time to fit in.

That said, it's okay to be bummed and grumpy about it.

[dana86]

Jobs are such mind games. I'm sorry BA. Do you think you can just let her know you have to pass on this project due to the short time frame and notice but continue doing other work as they have it available. Or is this a do it all or nothing kind of side work?

[larzhope]

BA, I'm going to give you a little bit of tough love here. you truly have a dream situation that most moms would love to have, by working part-time. You've made the choice to do that because it's what's best for yourself and your family, but at the end of the day, a business still needs to run, and that comes with some sacrifices. you CAN do the work for this other company, you've just chosen to prioritize time with Tman (and that's a perfectly acceptable choice), but I'm sure Tman would understand one night that you have to work late (since you said you could get this work done in half a day). so, I do think you're being a little unrealistic in your expectations as well as jumping to the conclusion because you aren't able to do this one thing you have to turn down all other work and you'll be forgotten about in the future.

now all of that being said, I get the frustration of not liking what you're doing, and that sucks. But again, you have to weigh the pros/cons - if you were willing to look for a full-time job, you'd probably have your pick. So, you need to figure out whether being part-time and not enjoying the work is more important than loving your work and working full-time. you're allowed to be grumpy that you can't have your cake and eat it too (I hate that phrase, btw, what good is cake if you can't eat it?), but you are in a pretty unique situation that a lot of people would be very envious of.

[georgeharrison]

Jun 6, 2016 11:50:16 GMT -5 larzhope said:

BA, I'm going to give you a little bit of tough love here. you truly have a dream situation that most moms would love to have, by working part-time. You've made the choice to do that because it's what's best for yourself and your family, but at the end of the day, a business still needs to run, and that comes with some sacrifices. you CAN do the work for this other company, you've just chosen to prioritize time with Tman (and that's a perfectly acceptable choice), but I'm sure Tman would understand one night that you have to work late (since you said you could get this work done in half a day). so, I do think you're being a little unrealistic in your expectations as well as jumping to the conclusion because you aren't able to do this one thing you have to turn down all other work and you'll be forgotten about in the future.

now all of that being said, I get the frustration of not liking what you're doing, and that sucks. But again, you have to weigh the pros/cons - if you were willing to look for a full-time job, you'd probably have your pick. So, you need to figure out whether being part-time and not enjoying the work is more important than loving your work and working full-time. you're allowed to be grumpy that you can't have your cake and eat it too (I hate that phrase, btw, what good is cake if you can't eat it?), but you are in a pretty unique situation that a lot of people would be very envious of.

Thank you for this.  I know that you are right and I know that I am very blessed with my work situation.  I have recognized that a lot of this comes across as sounding very spoiled.  I'm not miserable at my job, but the situation on Thursday was upsetting and disappointing.

Just to clarify, though, I wasn't saying that I was going to have to turn down all work because of this one situation.  I had been feeling like this extra work was getting to be too much anyway.  I had been discussing this for a while with James.  When I'm doing the extra work, it feels like I'm working full time, and that does not work for our family.  It never has.