3rd kid? yes, no, time is running out?

[kimmyo73]

So my husband and I have been back and forth on having a 3rd child for about a year now. We waited until he was gainfully employed again after a 2 year job hunt, we have some rebuilding to do financially but nothing that can't be accomplished within a year or so. We have a 5 year DD in private school for gifted children, and a DS in daycare who s 2.5. We both work and our income would support another child but we would need to reign it in a bit and I'll probably actually have to use the coupons I clip. Unless the financial aid continues with my DD's school we probably couldn't support her continuing in this private school. We knew this when we enrolled her but we thought the solid foundation was worth the possibility of having to move her at some point. We are in a solid school system if she had to move to public schools in the future.

I'm 39 and feeling that if I don't do this 3rd child now I am running out of time. I would love to have another baby but I feel a bit old and we are almost done with diapers...I'm just really torn but I don't want to not have another and regret it.

I realize people on the internet can't solve my issues but has anyone struggled with this decision and timing. I don't really want to air all this to my RL friends.

Thanks.

[Deleted]

I think if you've spent a year hemming and hawing, you want another one. But I just had my third and want one more so wtf do I know?

[amberlyrose]

Someone said this over the weekend when speaking about her third baby: "We didn't know if we would regret not trying but we knew we wouldn't regret having her"

[Deleted]

It's too bad your children are gifted, or else raising them would be less expensive.

[EmilieMadison]

I dont want to have a 3rd kid, so you shouldn't have one either.
There? Wasn't that helpful?

[hbear]

Sept 4, 2012 14:43:41 GMT -5 amberlyrose said:

Someone said this over the weekend when speaking about her third baby: "We didn't know if we would regret not trying but we knew we wouldn't regret having her"

I was going to say the same thing.
You won't regret having another baby, but you might regret not.

Good luck!

[kimmyo73]

Sept 4, 2012 14:43:41 GMT -5 amberlyrose said:

Someone said this over the weekend when speaking about her third baby: "We didn't know if we would regret not trying but we knew we wouldn't regret having her"

Thank you for this. It makes so much sense. I know if we decide to have a 3rd we would be overjoyed but I don't want to potentially limit my 2 existing children's options by having a 3rd. I guess their lives would be enriched by a sibling even if private school might not be an option.

[iamgrace]

Just do it.

[Deleted]

Sept 4, 2012 14:45:46 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

It's too bad your children are gifted, or else raising them would be less expensive.

:Y: LIKE :Y:

[julesf84]

Sept 4, 2012 15:41:58 GMT -5 kimmyo73 said:

Sept 4, 2012 14:43:41 GMT -5 amberlyrose said:

Someone said this over the weekend when speaking about her third baby: "We didn't know if we would regret not trying but we knew we wouldn't regret having her"

Thank you for this. It makes so much sense. I know if we decide to have a 3rd we would be overjoyed but I don't want to potentially limit my 2 existing children's options by having a 3rd. I guess their lives would be enriched by a sibling even if private school might not be an option.

Tell your kids to get a damn job already! It's never too early to contribute to your own education.

[ThirdandLong]

I've never looked at my siblings and thought "Man, I could've had cooler stuff if you'd never been born." (Okay, well maybe I did during a tantrum). I love my siblings, and my life is WAY WAY better with them in it. I have so many incredible memories of laughing, of crying, of support, of long talks, of bouncing ideas, of shared fun times. My life is better with my siblings in it. One day my parents will be gone, but they gave me the best gift they ever could have in my siblings.

[kimmyo73]

Sept 4, 2012 16:29:39 GMT -5 ThirdandLong said:

I've never looked at my siblings and thought "Man, I could've had cooler stuff if you'd never been born." (Okay, well maybe I did during a tantrum). I love my siblings, and my life is WAY WAY better with them in it. I have so many incredible memories of laughing, of crying, of support, of long talks, of bouncing ideas, of shared fun times. My life is better with my siblings in it. One day my parents will be gone, but they gave me the best gift they ever could have in my siblings.

This is an awesome perspective - I'm an only child and I so love seeing my two children interact and no that they will always have one another. I know there will be times later in life with they hate one another but I think ultimately they will be close! My dad is gone and my mom is BSC and not a part of our lives so at this point I'm an adult orphan and it does suck not to have someone with my own shared history.