Update...if intererested

[shoofly]

Many of you have responded to this and I will be forever grateful because I just need support and encouragement right now...might be a lot to ask. I know you guys are an awesome community though and that's why I've been here. I will respond to the other posts, but wanted to give another update.

He and I are no longer together. I have been with my parents since that night (last Thursday). So many people have rallied at my side and it's very much appreciated as I feel completely defeated. On Saturday I found out from a mutual that he had had lunch and drinks with this ex as well and never told me. He also posted a poor me, sob story on facebook about how another woman has left him after alllllllll he did for her - supported her family, picked her up when she was down, provided for her, etc. etc. Puke. He happened to leave out inappropriate interactions with his ex, the bruises he's left on me, how he constantly tore me down. Also on Saturday, he called to let me know he had put all my stuff from our condo into the hallway and I should come get it. No warning or anything. Just that he'd leave it in the hallway until I came. Everything. So my sister and I went to get stuff so no one would take anything. But I left the furniture of mine. It had no meaning and if he could find a way to move it to the hall, he can find a way to dispose of it. I was unable to get inside to get a few more of my things because he put a code-lock on the door, leaving me unable to enter.

I have since emailed 3 times regarding coming by to get the plants that are from my brother's funeral and about the money he will need to pay back to me. He has about $5500 on a credit card in my name only (again, my stupidity). He hasn't responded. I will send one last email tomorrow and let him know if he doesn't respond, I'll involve the landlord and/or police if necessary.

[jenstar]

Hugs shoofly, I'm so glad you took action and left. The more you post about the guy the more of an asshole he appears to be. Esp the credit card debt. I hope you can recoup that, and get the rest of your stuff back.

I think instead of feeling defeated you should be proud of yourself for having a backbone and looking our for yourself, it's hard at the start but the more you practice the better you'll get, and you've taken a great first step. x

[Deleted]

((shoofly)). I'm glad you left. He can not lock you out like that so get police involved to escort you if you need your belongings. I'm proud of you for being strong and leaving! Things will get better.

[itsalllies]

Shoofly, you are not dumb or weak. You are very strong and smart. I'm proud of you for leaving-it's for the best. You deserve more than what he was offering. Stay strong.

[doglove]

Glad you got away from this toxic nightmare. You may need to consult with an attorney regarding the money owed, do you have receipts or credit card statements?

[stephreloaded]

This is turning even worse! What do you mean when you say bruises? I think I missed that from before.

You are doing what you can right now and even though it all seems hard, those are HUGE steps on the right direction so keep it up. Do not feel dumb!!

[shoofly]

I am still falling apart...nothing about this is easy. I sent an email to him again this morning letting him know that since I'd not heard from him I would give him until 7pm on Thursday to respond, otherwise I'd show up to get my things and bring the police if needed. He stated that just because I emailed previously didn't mean I warranted a response, but to threaten bringing the police is ridiculous and he can't believe I'd even try.

doglove , I do have credit card statements/receipts, however, he's now saying that if I don't want to be held responsible for my portion of rent for the rest of the lease, he won't be paying back those debts. So a man who makes at least $8000 a month borrowed money from his gf who makes about $2000 a month, and now has no intention of repaying that money. I never asked him for a penny. Not once. Unbelievable. The email he sent with that information was so incredibly manipulating. I wish I could copy and paste it for others to read. And yet, I'm crying because of what I thought we had and what I wanted so badly.

stephreloaded , I had bruises from one of the 2 times he put his hands on me. He said how else is he to defend himself when I just run my mouth? I never, ever thought I'd be in a dv situation nor let myself stay, but I was and I did.

[shoofly]

And he's now forwarded 2 emails to me from his ex with her profusely apologizing for crossing the line...but that she still loves him, has always loved him, never should've left him. That she's enjoyed the last month hanging out with him (when?!?!), him interacting with their daughter, talking every day. How exactly does this make anything better?

Because she apologized? Because he's not responsible for her actions?? I am angry.

[ladyk]

If he's put his hands on you in the past, PLEASE do not go over there by yourself. I'd call the police non-emergency number and ask about an escort.

Also, are you on the lease?

[shoofly]

ladyk - yes, I am on the lease. I am in works with the landlord to remove my name, but I have told him not to do so UNTIL I receive all of my belongings.

[doglove]

Maybe you should just cut your losses and get the eff away from this dude as fast as possible.

[stephreloaded]

I agree with Doglove. I would run away even if that means losing some of your stuff.

[1confused1]

Jun 14, 2016 13:23:35 GMT -5 doglove said:

Maybe you should just cut your losses and get the eff away from this dude as fast as possible.

Times 3.