How am I going to get through 50 Shades?

[hubes]

I have to read it (remember, DH got it for me for my birthday two months ago) and he is sooooo excited that I need to read it.


It's terrible. I'm on page 9 and I'm bored to tears. I'm making a drinking game in which we take shots for every cliche or repeated phrase.

[Deleted]

just skip over every sex scene.
drink every time she says "my inner goddess" or "holy fuck" or anytime he says, "do you have any idea how [insert adjective] you look right now?"

and then kill yourself when he pulls HER FUCKING USED BLOODY TAMPON FROM HER VAGINA

[broc]

I would crack it like I was reading it, then put an article I really wanted to read or a comic book or something inside it. Or hell, print out some legit erotica and shove that in there. lol.

[MWOS]

[pbear]

I had to force myself to read 10 pages every night like it was a damn book report. My friend gave it to me and she was so excited for me to read it and talk about it. The writing is so horrible

[pbear]

Sept 4, 2012 19:19:56 GMT -5 lightyear said:

and then kill yourself when he pulls HER FUCKING USED BLOODY TAMPON FROM HER VAGINA

YES!! wtf was that?!?!?!?!

[Deleted]

AND THEN REMEMBER THAT THESE TWO PEOPLE DID EVERY SEXUAL ACT IN THE BOOK.

[hubes]

Sept 4, 2012 19:28:41 GMT -5 lightyear said:

AND THEN REMEMBER THAT THESE TWO PEOPLE DID EVERY SEXUAL ACT IN THE BOOK.

+o(

[jessuhmarie]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kfNDRi-t9c

[iamgrace]

Well, is he going to quiz you on it?

[flex]

Does your DH expect you to give a written summary of the book??? I'm with Quesera--just move the bookmark. Either that, tell him about the tampon scene and say that it grossed you out so much you threw the book in the garbage! Tell him about it with a lot of "eeeeeew'ss" and "OMG's" and hand waving.

My mom has the paperback at her house, but she hasn't read it and isn't planning to. She offered it to me and I said "NFW Mom!"

[gogadgetgo]

Put down the book.

Read this: www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

She has reviews of books 2 and 3.

YWIA

[iamgrace]

Sept 4, 2012 19:36:24 GMT -5 gogadgetgo said:

Put down the book.

Read this: www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

She has reviews of books 2 and 3.

YWIA

That was fantastic.

[Deleted]

i am in love with these reviews.

[imoan]

Divorce anyone who gives you that heinous excuse for a book. And in the divorce papers, tell him you expect a replacement birthday present.

[Deleted]

oh my god, i am fucking crying. tears.

"Can you imagine taking a housekeeping job with some 27-year-old douche canoe and all you're expecting is dusting, vacuuming, cooking, etc., and the next thing you know, he's handing you a bowl of used butt plugs? Or maybe he's not even handing them to you, he just mentions that, hey, that mysterious almost-always-locked spare room could use a good cleaning and you walk in to discover not only that you've stumbled into some kind of David Lynchian porn den, but you've also been greeted by the smell of stale sex and ass. And oh! There's a bowl of dirty butt plugs on the sideboard!"

[EmilieMadison]

Oooohhh. Yeah. It's bad. Just drink a lot of wine as you read? I dont know, I just plowed through it so I could be done with it. I had to finish it, though, because I had to be able to say that I read the whole thing to bash it properly.

[missmodular]

Sept 4, 2012 20:09:20 GMT -5 lightyear said:

nothing makes me laugh more than this

[bonquiqui]

You just don't lol

[hubes]

Sept 4, 2012 21:20:45 GMT -5 neener said:

I'd tell him when I finish, he gets to read it next!

He read it first.

Guys, DH and I definitely didn't meet in a library. He's a well-meaning country boy. I'm at the helicopter scene.

[iamgrace]

HE read it first?!?

[ohiowan]

Sept 4, 2012 19:17:46 GMT -5 hubes said:

I have to read it (remember, DH got it for me for my birthday two months ago) and he is sooooo excited that I need to read it.


It's terrible. I'm on page 9 and I'm bored to tears. I'm making a drinking game in which we take shots for every cliche or repeated phrase.

Sounds like Twilight.