What matters more...a good read

[never2amazing]

www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/what-matters-more-to-my-kids-future-their-school-or-quality-time-with-their-parents/2012/08/30/6275957c-ed90-11e1-b09d-07d971dee30a_story.html

[ct]

I think this is definitely one of those "happy medium" topics.

[ElsaVonM]

Yay, an excuse to buy more books!

[2brides]

Sept 5, 2012 12:11:36 GMT -5 ct said:

I think this is definitely one of those "happy medium" topics.

Yup. I have a hard time believing that my kids would succeed just as well at some of the DC schools were only 9% of the kids are proficient at reading at grade level - provided I was home with them.

It does make me rethink our private school tuition though. ^o)

[hlke]

Yeah...I understand the point, and I am totally one of those kids who went to a not-awesome public school system but had very present and enriching parents, and I turned out okay! But my parents didn't know I was underprepared for college, so they didn't do anything to help me out in that area, and it was rough.

So yes, definitely a happy medium. We'd like to stay in the city, but we definitely need to learn more about the public school situation here. We may move back to the Northeast by the time we have school age kids, which might make it a bit better.

[hlke]

But on the positive side, we're really excited to be those present and enriching parents, and it's more important to us than where our kids go to school, for sure.

[cymru]

We live in a town where the school system sucks. We are doing private school - which unfortunately where I live means Catholic school- because it is marginally better than the public schools.

We also have some of the nations most expensive private schools in the area - but we really can't afford $25,000+ per year for tuition.

I completely believe that the shortages in her education can be made up at home as long as we as parents are willing and able to fill in the gaps.

I see it as you do what you can . We live where we can afford and do the best we can do.

[mk]

Sept 5, 2012 14:47:37 GMT -5 hlke said:

Yeah...I understand the point, and I am totally one of those kids who went to a not-awesome public school system but had very present and enriching parents, and I turned out okay! But my parents didn't know I was underprepared for college, so they didn't do anything to help me out in that area, and it was rough.

I could have written verbatim!

From Mandy's phone

[kershnic]

I feel like he's only talking about the difference between a respectable, moderately performing school and an elite school. Sure, I buy his theory that involved parents can make up for a school not having "Lexus" features. I also think there's a heck of a lot of chance involved in how successful your kids end up being - and it also depends on how you define "successful" for your family. But I don't buy that involved parents can make up for crumbling failing schools. I've seen some crappy schools in my experience in social services in NYC (and also having several teacher friends) and the idea of sending my kids to NYC public schools terrifies me.

"Lareau concluded that middle-class parents convey substantial advantages to their children in three ways: by cultivating their interests, enriching their thinking and speaking skills through informal conversations, and teaching them how to navigate institutions such as colleges and workplaces that serve as de facto gatekeepers for success in America." If your children attend good schools with other involved parents and motivated kids, your children are going to get these benefits not just from you as parents but also from their teachers, principals, friends' parents, etc. Despite the research his article quotes, there's also research that shows that as kids get older their families become a smaller and smaller source of their information about the world and their peers become a larger and larger source of information. I think it's important that parts of the world around my family echos the values that I am trying to teach my kids.

I went to pretty good (but not amazing) public schools. I grew up in a middle class neighborhood in a Midwestern state that values (valued??) education, and I guarantee that this writer and his wife could afford to live in my childhood neighborhood if they wanted to move to my state. I went to a top private college and don't at all think I needed to go to an elite high school to succeed in college - but there were plenty of times in college where I experienced feeling behind classmates who graduated from private prep schools or some of the elite high schools in Boston, NYC, north shore of Chicago, etc. I can only imagine how behind I might have felt if I had come from a failing school system, or if I even would have been able to get in in the first place.

[2brides]

I went to one of those crazy pricey/elite private schools (hello, fish out of water), went to a public university, and ended up a social worker. I agree - depends on how you identify success.