So My Ex is Being Strange

[Dory1988]

He left, he asked to come back, I did not oblige and that was a while ago. We are going through the legal process still due to the separation waiting period. Yesterday he text me saying that he wants to see me happy even if it's not with him because he still loves me with the same intensity he did the day he married me so even though it's not him he hopes I find what I need and if I need anything he will be available. I'm not sure how to take this approach he's taking. I was kind of like "thank you I appreciate the thought but it's not necessary". I just hope this isn't another attempt to get me back.

[doglove]

Sounds like manipulation to me. I'd just ignore it.

[cuddlyevil]

Ignore, ignore, ignore. He's manipulating you (or trying to).

[Deleted]

I would just ignore. Maybe he does genuinely mean that, but it doesn't really matter. My ex still sends me messages every once in awhile, I always ignore. I genuinely hope he is doing well and is happy, but there really is no point in communicating with him.

[Dory1988]

Thanks guys my impression was half that I wanted to believe he was genuine and half that he is finally feeling bad about the drama he caused about a month ago...or maybe he's just trying to keep an eye on who I'm moving on with so he can be all butt hurt about it again and it's just hard to know how to feel when he does that.

[Deleted]

Jun 29, 2016 9:53:02 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

Thanks guys my impression was half that I wanted to believe he was genuine and half that he is finally feeling bad about the drama he caused about a month ago...or maybe he's just trying to keep an eye on who I'm moving on with so he can be all butt hurt about it again and it's just hard to know how to feel when he does that.

Eventually you will get to the point where what he says will be a non-feeling and you don't give it a second thought. Until then protect yourself and do what makes you happy. 

[berbles]

My XH did the exact same thing. He pretended I didn't know that he wanted to fuck someone else. About a week after he told me he wanted a divorce he tried to pull this same bullshit, telling me he will always love and care about me, he wants me to be happy and find someone else, and he hoped he could be invited to my next wedding. GTFO with that shit. Stop trying to justify your desire to fuck a 19 year old by convincing yourself that you're still a good person because you "care about me." I'm not having it. I asked him if he thought we should avoid seeing/sleeping with other people until the divorce was final. He said, "No you can do whatever you want." I looked at him and said blankly, "I wasn't talking about me."

I think he was genuinely dumbfounded when he realized he couldn't manipulate me anymore. I called him on his bullshit each time.

About a month after we split, he said to me, "It's really hard not being able to talk to my best friend about everything." I responded, "Well I'm still trying to deal with the fact that my best friend has been treating me like shit for nearly a year." He was silent.

[Deleted]

Yeah it's manipulation. My ex wanted to still get divorced but date. I would just ignore him. I haven't talked to my ex in almost four years now and it's fabulous.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Ditto ignore

My xh promised rehab, that he'd be a changed man, blah blah blah. I didn't buy it.

At some point you'll feel indifferent to him and OMG what a glorious feeling that is

[redshoejune]

Ignore, and agree that it is manipulation.

[abcdefu]

My ex was attending marital counseling sessions and sleeping with other women. Then when I found out and told him I was done, he stalked the ish out of me and was handed a restraining order.

I agree that he is manipulating you. As soon as you think you are at peace with being done, he reels you back in, to keep you stuck in the grieving stage of your relationship ending.

[g0nz0b0t]

I match the sentiments of everyone in this post (my ex was much the same/pulled the same bullshit phrasing). Ignore, it will spare you further emotional grief in the long run. Good luck to you on your journey!

[stephreloaded]

I agree with Wandering. It is possible that he is trying to manipulate you but it could also be genuine. You know him more than we do. He is not part of your life anymore and him saying that he wishes you are happy will have no real consequences for you. While it will be nice to hear it, does it change things for you? Not trying to be insensitive but helping to put things in perspective.