I just got fired

[Ramz-ee]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I was fired about 10 years ago and I went through all the emotions you are going through. I was embarrassed for a long time and I had no one that understood. Definitely take to heart what miso, wrote.

Also, I was allowed to resign and the company did not contest my unemployment. I would imagine if they are letting you work to the end of the month, they will not contest if you file. If you are concerned they may contest it, talk to them. Ultimately for your career, I think being able to resign is extremely important. In interviews, job applications, etc. you will be able to honestly say you were not fired, you resigned because it wasn't a good fit.

[thebreakfastclub]

So I was legitimately fired a year ago. They did not like my director any more, so she was fired. I think I was perceived as too close to her, because I was fired too. I had been there 10 years.

I met with a career counselor, and she told me to take the word fired out of my vocabulary. There was a reorganization and you were eliminated as a result. That's it. Everyone gets it.

I would spend these weeks getting contact info for references. Then what will the employer's hr say when contacted to verify employment history.

Otherwise don't be afraid to job hunt and hold your head high.

[Eureka1984]

I'm so sorry! I am sending good vibes your way to get a job soon.

[nahoku]

Damn. I'm sorry, sangria. I hope something good comes your way soon.

[looksgood]

I'm sorry. I have been there. It's such a blow to your self-worth. I, too, had to work until the absolute end because I needed the paycheck. They interviewed candidates for my position while I was still there. I wanted to throw up. But, looking back, it taught me how I want to NOT act should I be in the position of ever letting someone go.

Good people get fired. I hope something breaks for you soon.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. Dh has gone through this and it's so hard on your self esteem. Hope something (even better?) comes your way soon.

[karmasabiotch]

I'm so sorry. Hugs...

[sangria]

Jul 7, 2016 1:01:00 GMT -5 miso said:

sangria

I was going to send you a private message, but I've decided to post publicly because there might be someone out there in our shoes who can benefit from reading and sharing our painful experience.

I won't lie to you. It's still not a great time for me. It has been three months, and I remain rather sad.

But I put on a happy face every day because there is nothing to be gained from wallowing.

It has taken me a long time to go public with my unemployment in the real world beyond GBCN. It is embarrassing. It is shameful. It is depressing. Who gets fired? Shitty people get fired.

Right?

Wrong.

I am finally at the point at which I recognize and accept that you don't have to be shitty to be fired. Amazing people get fired all the time. Oprah was fired at one point. Oprah!

When I read this article about how a high-ranking executive at The Met handled his recent firing, I felt inspired. It helped me go public about my unemployment and to let go of unnecessary shame. I posted for all to see on Facebook. I finally told my in-laws. I reached out to my husband's extended family for possible leads. And now I am having lunches and drinks with so many people, including people I haven't seen for years.

What I've learned recently is that people are kind and supportive and really want to help you get back on your feet. I don't know if any of my meetings will lead to anything, but, at the very least, all of these friends and acquaintances are lifting my spirits and reminding me that I have many great qualities. Being fired did not negate those talents.

I won't even begin to discuss real employment strategies. All of that stuff is so dependent on industry, years of experience, specialization, location, etc.

What I do want to convey, however, is that you are not alone in feeling this horrible feeling about getting fired. It's insanity. It's like an out-of-body experience. How could this happen to me? Do I suck?

We do not suck. We really don't. And you won't believe this for awhile, but it's true.

It may take you some time before you feel better about yourself. I'm getting there slowly.

But we will both get there eventually.

(heart)

Thank you so very much for this. 
I know it seems so silly, but it's amazing how much creepy internet friends can make you feel better about yourself. 

[sangria]

I just still can't believe in my entire 38 years, i don't think I've ever felt so badly about myself. I'm also angry because I think they did me dirty a bit (long story) and for a small tight knit group that really looks out for each other I think that sucks.

On the bright side my H just got a promotion last month (thank god) and we’ve always talked about the possibility of moving back east to be closer to my family who live 3000 miles away. (he can transfer to pretty much any city) I felt that wasn’t a real possibility once I got this position because it was such an amazing opportunity and fit into our lives so perfectly. Now I feel like we could actually really put some thought into that and make it happen if we wanted to.

Anyway, just more thinking out loud- I guess it helps to just put it out there where you are feeling really down in the dumps.

[dexteroni]

I'm so sorry, that's awful. Being able to move closer to your family is a pretty good bright side, though. I'm glad that's now a possibility, and I hope you find something you love just as much in your hometown. ((((((hugs))))))

[Deleted]

This happened to me 2 years ago, the director released me right before my 1 year probation. He didn't even know me but on paper I took more time off compared to co workers so apparently that was bad. My supervisor was totally against it and even cried, so that softened the blow somewhat. In retrospect it was a huge blessing, the job was shift work and was taking its toll on my family.

I came out much stronger in the end and can even joke about it now. Huge hugs to you!

[onetruething]

I'm so sorry. DH was in a similar situation not too long ago- and it was all based on some office politics. As so many others have stated, it's turned out to be a huge blessing for us. His new job is a much better fit for our family.

I wish you the best!!

[periwinkle]

Jul 7, 2016 11:00:24 GMT -5 sangria said:

I just still can't believe in my entire 38 years, i don't think I've ever felt so badly about myself. I'm also angry because I think they did me dirty a bit (long story) and for a small tight knit group that really looks out for each other I think that sucks.

On the bright side my H just got a promotion last month (thank god) and we’ve always talked about the possibility of moving back east to be closer to my family who live 3000 miles away. (he can transfer to pretty much any city) I felt that wasn’t a real possibility once I got this position because it was such an amazing opportunity and fit into our lives so perfectly. Now I feel like we could actually really put some thought into that and make it happen if we wanted to.

Anyway, just more thinking out loud- I guess it helps to just put it out there where you are feeling really down in the dumps.

..removed some personal info..

I'm sorry for rambling.  My point is, there will be a range of emotions you'll face here, especially since they seem to have really screwed you over.  First was shock, sadness, fear.  Then anger...so much anger.  I still regret firing off a very nasty email to the guy that started the rumors.  I should have just typed it and deleted.  I just felt so betrayed.  

It takes time, like miso said.  I was humiliated. Only my DH, parents, and best friend knew.  It took a few months for me to open up about it more.  It's taken me almost an entire year to really get over it.  I would just relive that meeting over and over again.  I hid all my old work friends on FB because I couldn't bear to see their statuses with work events.  Then it got better...bit by bit.  My turning point was typing a loooooong email to my mom just letting it all out.  I felt so much better putting it all one paper.  If it helps you, keep writing.  Even if it's just something you'll delete later.  

Now I can finally talk about my old place with no tinge of sadness or embarrassment.  I completely changed careers...and I'm SO happy.  People told me that the firing might end up being a good thing.  I thought they were full of it.  But they were right.  Maybe this is your opportunity to move back east...there might be something bigger and better waiting for you.  I know I'm just a random internet person but I really wish you all the best.  

[residentdj]

Jul 7, 2016 7:16:22 GMT -5 Waffles said:

I'm so sorry. It's really shitty of them to advertise your position before telling you.

I'm not sure how things work in the US but if resigning normally stops you from collecting unemployment (it does here), do not put anything in writing.

Heh...the last company I worked for was notorious for this. Luckily my first supervisor there quit before they had the opportunity to fire him

I worked for a radio station (actually it was 3 in our company) about 12-13 years ago and they let me go. The day they did it, they waited until I had finished all of my work, since not a single person there knew how to do my job. I actually hated it there and was already interviewing for other jobs, so I wasn't too heartbroken over it. It still sucked though because I didn't have a job secured at that point, only a bunch of interviews - so there was fear of the unknown. I managed to find a new job within a week though, paying me a lot more than the crappy radio station did.

Don't worry, sangria. It happens to the best of us. You are not a loser. And you will find something. I really do believe that when one door closes and another (better one) opens. Def do not sign anything saying you are resigning and I would still take your vacation. It will help you clear your head and then you can start fresh when you get back

[TamiTaylor]

I am so sorry. I was forced into resigning at my previous job. My new boss did not like me for whatever reason and I was asked to resign or my contract would be non renewed. It rocked me and I had lots of selfdoubt. I ended up finding another job that I love even more and pays way more money. And my previous boss is getting hers and 2/3 of the staff that was there before her have left.

[Deleted]

Jul 7, 2016 11:00:24 GMT -5 sangria said:

I just still can't believe in my entire 38 years, i don't think I've ever felt so badly about myself. I'm also angry because I think they did me dirty a bit (long story) and for a small tight knit group that really looks out for each other I think that sucks.

On the bright side my H just got a promotion last month (thank god) and we’ve always talked about the possibility of moving back east to be closer to my family who live 3000 miles away. (he can transfer to pretty much any city) I felt that wasn’t a real possibility once I got this position because it was such an amazing opportunity and fit into our lives so perfectly. Now I feel like we could actually really put some thought into that and make it happen if we wanted to.

Anyway, just more thinking out loud- I guess it helps to just put it out there where you are feeling really down in the dumps.

I want to second what Miso said. Amazing people get fired all the time. My old vp of sales who helped grow the company by 87 percent (YES 87) was let go bc the CEO found her to be a threat.

it turned out the be the best thing for her ever. She moved closer to her family, she got a BETTER JOB and she is happy now.  I am sorry you are dealing with this Sangria :-(

[childofhiphop]

Jul 7, 2016 14:14:12 GMT -5 @sloanpeterson said:

Jul 7, 2016 11:00:24 GMT -5 sangria said:

I just still can't believe in my entire 38 years, i don't think I've ever felt so badly about myself. I'm also angry because I think they did me dirty a bit (long story) and for a small tight knit group that really looks out for each other I think that sucks.

On the bright side my H just got a promotion last month (thank god) and we’ve always talked about the possibility of moving back east to be closer to my family who live 3000 miles away. (he can transfer to pretty much any city) I felt that wasn’t a real possibility once I got this position because it was such an amazing opportunity and fit into our lives so perfectly. Now I feel like we could actually really put some thought into that and make it happen if we wanted to.

Anyway, just more thinking out loud- I guess it helps to just put it out there where you are feeling really down in the dumps.

I want to second what Miso said. Amazing people get fired all the time. My old vp of sales who helped grow the company by 87 percent (YES 87) was let go bc the CEO found her to be a threat.

it turned out the be the best thing for her ever. She moved closer to her family, she got a BETTER JOB and she is happy now.  I am sorry you are dealing with this Sangria

Third Miso's comment.  She is very wise.

It seems cliché that an even better opportunity will open for you.  It will.  You will wallow (I did); get angry (I did); discouraged (I did); angry some more (jackal manager and company for getting 11 years of loyalty and showed me none in return!).  Your emotions will run the gamut. 

But... you will end up stronger and in a better place - whether it is closer to your family or in a new and improved career. 

I can't believe the incredible position I am in now that I would never in a million years think I'd be in.  (I also can't believe that the jackal manager still keeps viewing my LinkedIn profile 10+ years later - Perv!).

I wish you good alcohol in your wallowing (if that is your thing) and lots of interviews and raises in the future!

[Deleted]

I was recently let go as well (within the past 6 weeks) before my 6 month probationary period ended. My boss had emailed me about the meeting Tuesday or Wednesday night for a meeting at 4 on a Friday. He KNEW he was letting me go and still let me work the whole effing day Friday. I was mad because they told me I was great at my job but it "wasn't a good fit" and they wouldn't give me feedback, saying they didn't want to betray anybody's confidence.

I am now in a better position and they still have to work with me so joke's on them I guess.


You will rise from the ashes.

[ghost]

ditto PP. There is a very good possibility that if YOU resign, you are not eligible for unemployment benefits. That is the way it is in my state. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO RESEARCH THAT. Do not agree to do that in writing until you have!
But please get in writing why they are letting you go, and keep copies of reviews, disciplinary actions, or write ups.

[loira]

I'm so sorry. I was made redundant (the British term for being let go due to a reorganisation or budget cuts) in 2014 by a company I knew was trying to get me to resign shortly after I lost our first DD at 24 weeks. They were a badly managed start-up headed by 2 middle aged frat boys, and the company wasn't doing so well. I think they were counting on me being out for 6 months of mat leave, and when I lost the baby they realised my salary wasn't in the budget. They made my life absolutely miserable - freezing me out, giving me the worst clients etc - and it's only because my H had another few months of his PhD that I hung on long enough to be made redundant. As humiliating as it was, I'm glad I did because they paid me severance. I'd do as pps suggest and make sure you make them terminate your employment if you're counting on collecting EI or severance.

[Deleted]

Jul 7, 2016 19:00:59 GMT -5 @aellasbeth said:

I was recently let go as well (within the past 6 weeks) before my 6 month probationary period ended. My boss had emailed me about the meeting Tuesday or Wednesday night for a meeting at 4 on a Friday. He KNEW he was letting me go and still let me work the whole effing day Friday. I was mad because they told me I was great at my job but it "wasn't a good fit" and they wouldn't give me feedback, saying they didn't want to betray anybody's confidence.

I am now in a better position and they still have to work with me so joke's on them I guess.


You will rise from the ashes.

Omg! Something very similar happened to me! Not the Friday afternoon let go but it was out of the blue - marked as a "bi-weekly update meeting" that the manager had with everyone.
She even discussed something I was working on before telling me "clearly this role is the wrong fit for you"

I mean, yeah, the 'team' sucked, lots of infighting, her 'leadership' was terrible but shouldn't I decide that? And I'd had three different people on the 6 person team comment how easy I was to work with. So wth?

all she would say is my references checked out and I was everything they had said. Which knowing them was pretty good stuff! I was so shocked and felt defeated. For a long time.