Updated (again): Thoughts and hugs needed

[mswax]

Update 2: Well that was the worst F*CKING vacation ever.  I talked to my step father on Friday night, as I had been talking to him every day due to health concerns, and also because I had been helping him to buy a house close to ours.  He knew I was going on vacation and asked me to enjoy the weekend and not call him until Monday.  I told him I'd comply if he promised to talk to his sister every day.  He agreed.

We went on vacation, and on Sunday I get a call from the hospital, telling me he's there, and they are having trouble understanding what meds he's on because he's not "all there."  I called him several times that day, and he was not doing well, but could at least speak to me, though he didn't say much.  I decided I need to go see him.

I left DH and the boys (remember we were on vacation) on Monday afternoon and drive 4 hours to go see my step dad in the hospital.  He's been moved to the ICU and he's so out of it they have him restrained so he can't pull out his tubes or get out of bed.  He was only barely conscious, but in the brief moments I saw how much he DIDN'T want that.  It was awful, and I felt like I was torturing him.  The doctors couldn't give me any real answers when I was there, so I left after he finally fell asleep and drove the 4 hours back to my family.

His sister flew in from FL and was in the hospital with him on Tuesday.  He was not getting any better.  The doctors finally told us he won't get better.  We decided to stop treatment and only keep him comfortable.  We knew it was what he wanted, but it was SO HARD to say those words. I'm thankful there was a doctor who was finally honest with us about it, because I felt like they were stringing us along for so long, and in the process making my step father suffer needlessly.

I spent Wednesday on vacation with my family.  It was DS1's 8th birthday.  I made sure it was a SUPER fun day.  That night I told the kids about their grandfather, and that I need to leave in the morning to help him.  They cried.  I cried.  It sucked.

Thursday morning I rented a car to drive back to my house to get DH's car.  I took that car to my step father's, and he passed away while I was on my way.  I still feel badly that I wasn't by his side.

Friday his sister and I met with the funeral home to plan the service.  He was a writer, and wanted to write his own obituary, but I didn't think he ever did it.  I searched his computers (multiple), and was able to find an intro.  I finished it.  I wrote a fucking obituary.  When did this become my life???

I'm spending the weekend with my family and then I'll go back out there on Monday to meet with the estate lawyer and keep cleaning out his house.  You guys, he has SO MUCH SHIT.  It's like a freaking office supply store inside his house.  I need to find a school to donate all that stuff to.  It's insane!

His service is on Wednesday.  I'm planning to be out of work until then to continue to deal with the house stuff.

And that's my vacation.  I'm taking a few hours at home before DH and the kids get back to work on making frosting for cakes for my kids birthday parties next weekend.  Because I'm hosting 3 fucking birthday parties on Saturday.  I just need nice weather on Saturday.  I'm mostly holding my shit together, but I can pretty much guarantee I'll lose it if it rains.

Thanks for all your good thoughts and hugs.  I really needed (still need) them.



Update: He's in pain, only semi-conscious, and we've been told he won't get better. We've decided to stop treatment and only keep him comfortable at this point. This really sucks.


My step father is in the hospital again. I've posted before about him and his health problems. He's been in the hospital half a dozen times in the last few months. I've mostly been complaining about the time and energy I've been spending helping him with his needs.

Well, now he's in the ICU and I'm not sure he's going to come home. I'm devastated by the thought of losing him, and at the same time I'm devastated because losing him feels like I'm also losing the last piece of my mom, who passed away 6.5 years ago.

If you can spare any good thoughts or hugs, I'd really appreciate them.

[brandienee]

I am so sorry.

Take care of yourself and your family. So many hugs to you. I will be thinking of you.

[sju1982]

Thinking of you and your family.

[countthestars]

I'm so sorry, what a rollercoaster. Hugs.

[ssmjlm]

I'm sorry, thinking of you. Hugs.

[greycat]

((Hugs)) Thinking of you!

[ewall]

Thinking of you.

[chickens987]

I am so sorry, holding you both in the light.

[timorousbeastie]

I'm sorry. You'll be in my thoughts.

[jeaniebueller]

Thinking of you.

[Ashley&Scott]

Thinking of you, hugs.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you.

[cricketwife]

I'm so sorry. I know you've been under a lot of stress caring for him. I'm sorry he's not doing well.

[raangoli]

Huge hugs and good thoughts to you.

[aspentosh]

Thinking of you and your family.

[lilac05]

I'm sorry. Thinking of you.

[kdubs923]

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you & your step father.

[pinotgrig]

I'm so sorry. Please don't feel bad or guilty - this is a hard situation and I think you've done a great job navigating it as best as possible. Thinking of you and your family.

[jayhawkbecca]

lifting you up and wishing you peace.

[minzy]

I've been following your story and am thinking of you.

[laurenh]

Thinking of you, hugs.

[Velar Fricative]

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[KaraOrNot]

Hugs.

[waterchurch]

I'm so sorry. Lots of good thoughts and big hugs.

[zeewifeandmama]

Many many hugs to you!

[mskitkat]

Lots of hugs to you.

[jorja]

Sending good thoughts.

[mswax]

Update in OP

[kdubs923]

Hugs. Sending you and your step father peace.

[lurknomore]

Hugs Ms Wax. I hope everything goes as smoothly and peacefully as possible.